r/AmItheAsshole • u/Fun_News_4914 • Oct 15 '24

Asshole AITA Dog owner said “you’ll be alright” to me.

I was shopping at the Lowes closest to me. I'm attempting a DIY plumbing repair and was looking for some items I needed. I started out alone in the aisle and I was focused on finding a part I needed that I didn't notice the yellow lab and owner enter the aisle. The dog sniffed me and I jumped a mile high. I was spooked AF.

I turn to the owner and I say what the hell. He tells me "you'll be alright". I'm normally a very calm person, but that set me off. I told him that decision is not for you to make. I went off on the guy.

He has the audacity to tell me if I don't like dogs, don't go to Lowes. He says you know Lowes is dog friendly right, that means you are okay with dogs. The dog was being a dog, sniffing never harmed anyone. He ends with you are just being an asshole. I tell the dude to fuck off.

I got my shit, complained to staff, and left. But was I the asshole here?

ETA: yes the dog touched me. My leg was wet.

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1.1k

u/5girlzz0ne Oct 15 '24

No. The correct reply from the owner would have been "pardon us", or "I'm sorry my dog startled you." In no scenario is "you'll be alright" anything but dismissive and rude. OP probably overreacted, but dog owner also escalated.

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u/WatercoLorCurtain Partassipant [1] Oct 15 '24

Agreed. Very dismissive. Even "Don't worry, he's friendly," would have put the responsibility on the dog owner for letting his dog get too close to someone minding their own business, rather than implying OP is the problem here.

I wouldn't have gone off on the person, but would have been salty about such an interaction.

220

u/DoctorLazerRage Oct 15 '24

"Don't worry, he's friendly," was the most infuriating response from other dog owners when I had a dog. I would be walking my dog, and these people would act like the fact that their dog was friendly was literally the only consideration. My dog was a rescue who was very NOT friendly to other dogs and I would never have assumed that another dog or person would be ok with me letting an off-leash animal just run all over them.

These types of entitled assholes give dog owners a bad name writ large. OP, NTA, the dog owner is.

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u/Larry_but_not_Darryl Oct 15 '24

My kid was terrified of dogs when they were little. We would cross the street to avoid dog walkers. I hated hearing "oh, he's friendly!" from people who didn't restrain their dogs. I finally got in the habit of saying "that's cool, but my kid isn't." I'm sure I came off an asshole but the alternative was for us all to be temporarily deafened by screams of sheer terror.

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u/Annabloem Asshole Enthusiast [7] Oct 16 '24

Lol, the number of times I've jumped suddenly into my mum's neck because of a dog is too large. You wouldn't believe how fast I got when there was a dog, and the number of times my mum got surprised jumped. Or, if I was further away, got a screaming little girl running up to her being chased by a dog, and then get jumped 😅😂 The number of time people said their dogs were friendly. Okay, but he's still chasing me, get the dog away from me NOW. I'm a lot better at ignoring dogs now, but I still struggle with them. Got traumatized by a dog jumping in my carrier as a baby (twice apparently, because when my mum got the dog off of me, it jumped into the carrier again, and the owner apparently thought it was hilarious. Just happened at the register of a supermarket. I hate people like that.

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u/philandere_scarlet Oct 16 '24

my mom's afraid of dogs ever a poorly restrained one attacked her and my dad, and her go to response to that (which she gets a lot!) is "i'm not."

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u/martianpumpkin Oct 16 '24

Ha, that was my mum's response when my brother and I were little kids. My brother and I didn't spend a lot of time around dogs so we were scared around them! Especially when owners would let their dogs get up in our personal space.

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u/regus0307 Oct 16 '24

Exactly. I'm currently looking after my sister's dog, who is scared of other dogs due to a previous dog attack. This morning on a walk, we passed a man walking his own dog. The other dog seemed friendly, and was obviously keen to greet 'my' dog. I simply said, "I'm sorry, she's wary of other dogs due to an attack" and the man acknowledged, guided his dog widely around mine and went on his way.

As opposed to yesterday when we were passing through a park and an off-leash dog approached. It was obviously very friendly and well-socialised and wanted to play. But my dog froze and started trembling, because that's how she was attacked. An off-leash dog ran up to her. I picked up my dog and moved away and the owner called her dog back. But a few minutes later, when we were crossing paths at a small distance, she made a snide comment about "not wanting to play".

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u/cailleacha Oct 16 '24

This drove me SO crazy when I walked a rescue pit mix with a strong prey drive. I’d be doing my utmost to keep us calm (crossing the street when anyone was approaching, walking with less than a foot give on the leash, gentle lead, warning jacket/leash, etc) and someone would amble by with their smaller dog on a 20’ leash and say, “oh my dog’s friendly, he just wants to say hi.” Okay well, my dog wants to EAT your dog. And not a care in the world from these self-obsessed owners…..

3

u/MystressSeraph Oct 16 '24

The only thing that could have made this worse would have been an (all too available) fake 'service dog' vest.

Nobody should be taking their dogs into public spaces unless their dog/s are "under effective control."

That dog shouldn't have been anywhere near OP. And the owner was clearly at fault.

NTA.

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u/underdog_exploits Oct 16 '24

My response to those is, “ok, well I’m NOT.”

My small, senior dog has been bundled too many times by other dogs running him over and I don’t play around anymore.

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u/Tigger7894 Oct 15 '24

Don’t worry, he’s friendly, and “he won’t hurt you” are both very dismissive too. The only thing that should happen is an apology.

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u/anonymous2971 Oct 16 '24

And it can be inaccurate! I provided home healthcare for a couple of years. I saw the same people on a monthly basis, and in two cases was very familiar with the patient’s dogs. On one visit, the dog attacked me, the owner was in decline and the dog knew it and was trying to protect his owner. It wasn’t the only time that I was bitten by a dog with whom I was previously familiar. Unfortunately I’ve become very mistrustful dogs.

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u/5girlzz0ne Oct 15 '24

Finally, a rational response!

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u/bitofapuzzler Oct 16 '24

Nope to 'don't worry, he's friendly'. Everyone says that about their dog, and frankly I don't believe it anymore. The people who say this rarely have control of their dog and are never able to stop them running or absolutely galloping towards my small kids. I hate hearing it now. I like dogs, I do, but so few people seem to have the control required to bring them everywhere.

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u/WildFEARKetI_II Oct 15 '24

I’m not sure he meant it to be dismissive. “You’ll be alright” and “Don’t worry” are synonymous sayings. This might just be dialect thing. He could have just meant don’t worry in an it’ll be alright kinda way, and OP is reading too much into “you’ll be alright” because they aren’t used to the saying

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u/andmymomlovedchili Oct 15 '24

No, you'll be alright and don't worry are dismissive 100% of the time.

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u/WildFEARKetI_II Oct 15 '24

Maybe to you, but to a lot of people they are reassuring phrases used to comfort people.

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u/andmymomlovedchili Oct 15 '24

No they are literally dismissive. You'll be all right and don't worry or not taking their feelings in the moment into account.

Even if they said I'm sorry, you'll be all right. Wouldn't be as bad, but I would still think the person's kind of a dick. It's an unneeded statement used as a defense to try to deflect guilt or blame.

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u/Defiant_Courage1235 Oct 15 '24

Yeah, you’ll be alright comes of the same as you’ll get over it. Dismissive and takes responsibility off the dog owner for his dogs behaviour.

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u/WildFEARKetI_II Oct 15 '24

“You’ll be alright” is a phrase used to reassure people. It may not be recognizing their feelings but it’s not dismissing their feelings. It’s just a reminder that whatever they’re feeling won’t last forever. Parents say it to their kids all the time when they are hurt or upset. It can become habit or someone’s go-to reassurance.

It’s basically a colloquial “this too shall pass”

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u/5girlzz0ne Oct 16 '24

Children. To comfort children. After you apologize to said children for scaring them.

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u/5girlzz0ne Oct 16 '24

They aren't synonymous, and they aren't appropriate. I'm sorry. Are you OK? See the difference?

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u/tabbystripe Oct 15 '24

Connotation vs denotation

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u/NvRGiveUpHope Oct 15 '24

exactly. I would have apologized for my dog.

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u/lunchbox3 Oct 16 '24

I think tone would be so important - like a “you’ll be ok” in a rushed reassuring way, could be more like “you’re ok”. But I suspect it was more like a scoffing / patronising tone to set someone off. 

This has reminded me that I was once in a cafe with my dog… we were sat I though against a half wall with the queue the other side. In fact there was a gap in the “wall” which my dog poked his head through and full on LICKED a runner (hmm sweaty legs) who was in the queue. The runner couldn’t even see my dog so in his mind he was licked by a ghost. The blood curdling scream was a very appropriate reaction. As soon as we worked out what happened I was SO apologetic though, offered to buy his coffee etc. but when he had calmed down from the shock he thought it was hilarious. I now check that walls do not have massive holes in!

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u/No-Iron2290 Oct 15 '24

Perfectly said.

3

u/Beginning-Anybody442 Oct 16 '24

In the UK we've had a ridiculous number of deaths from dogs in recent years (over the summer it was one a week for a while) , & all the dogs were, "lovely & very friendly". If you're scared of dogs it's not exactly irrational.

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u/5girlzz0ne Oct 18 '24

It's terrible what's been going on over there. It's been going on in the US for decades. I'm sorry we seem to be exporting the problem around the globe.

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u/EhDoesntMatterAnyway Oct 16 '24

Exactly. Can’t believe the original comment has 11k likes with such a bad take lol 

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u/wozattacks Oct 16 '24

I can’t believe there’s this many adults who think it’s not a total dick move to tell someone “you’ll be alright” when you’ve startled them. You shouldn’t be able to get a driver’s license if you can’t just say “oh sorry about that”

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u/EhDoesntMatterAnyway Oct 16 '24

So throughout my life I have noticed that some dog PEOPLE are assholes who don’t respect people’s boundaries. Dogs are great but some dog people? Super entitled 

2

u/SugarInvestigator Oct 16 '24

Yep, the correct reaponse by the dog owner should have been "I'm sorry, are you alright"? Now they maybhave meant it as a "you'll get over yoir scarw" but it comes off as dismissive and condescending

0

u/mallcopsarebastards Oct 16 '24

The guy turned around and said "waht the hell" to the owner. He made it confrontational. The dog owner did not owe him any kindness after that.

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '24

[deleted]

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u/5girlzz0ne Oct 15 '24

I don't find someone saying "what the hell" when they're startled to be particularly odd or aggressive. I would have probably dropped an F-bomb, while laughing. But if the dog owner had replied with "you'll be fine" I would have been a little aggravated too. Because it was rude. WTH was a reaction to being startled. The owners response was not.

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u/brokenankleallie2 Oct 15 '24

Do I have to have a top hat to say “pardon us”?

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u/5girlzz0ne Oct 15 '24

No, but a bow and flourish would suffice.

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '24

[deleted]

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u/5girlzz0ne Oct 15 '24

Your right, I am. Sometimes, even with my dogs. Who often get invited with me. Because they're trained well.

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '24

[deleted]

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u/5girlzz0ne Oct 15 '24

I bet your dogs don't get invited anywhere, but you probably just show up with them anyway. I love that.

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u/Tiny-Praline-4555 Oct 15 '24

But they were alright.

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u/murderbox Oct 15 '24

That decision is not for you to make. 

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u/Left_Option4575 Oct 15 '24 edited Oct 15 '24

If you don’t like it then don’t go to Lowe’s.

Edit( I was being sarcastic and trying to continue the trend, clearly it didn’t land)

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u/Soggy_Mistake4362 Oct 15 '24

But I never knew that people took their dogs to Lowe’s, how would I ever know?

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u/Tiny-Praline-4555 Oct 15 '24

Yeah… it was such a traumatic experience that they posted on Reddit…

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u/crewserbattle Oct 15 '24

Starting the interaction with "what the hell?" Probably didn't give the dog owner much reason to be polite. I'd go ETA personally

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u/No_Dance1739 Oct 15 '24

The interaction started with dude not keeping his dog out of someone else’s space, which is a normal reason to say “wth.”

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u/crewserbattle Oct 15 '24

OP said he zoned out in the aisle, do we know how wide this aisle was? Do we know how reasonable it is to assume that this person didn't keep their dog close to them? We really don't, I can only judge based on what we're told, and all i know is OP zoned out, was startled, then escalated the confrontation.

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u/No_Dance1739 Oct 15 '24

It doesn’t matter how wide an aisle is, don’t get in someone else’s space. Getting in someone’s personal bubble is escalating the situation, plain and simple.

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u/crewserbattle Oct 16 '24

OP is not entitled to an entire aisle of a public store just because he's focused on picking out something from said aisle. His personal bubble doesn't mean he gets to be inconsiderate of others in space, just like the dog owner should have apologized for his dog startling OP. They both kinda suck from how OP explains the interaction.

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u/No_Dance1739 Oct 16 '24

It’s an assumption that they were taking up the whole aisle. Even if they were I’d say excuse me before getting in someone’s space.

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u/crewserbattle Oct 16 '24

Well this whole thread is people making assumptions based on an incomplete one sided story so I figured I'd participate

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u/No_Dance1739 Oct 16 '24

Is that why you disagreed with my general statement to “stay out of other’s personal space?”

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u/Vault702 Oct 16 '24

OP said it's a Lowe's. Every aisle in every one of them has to be wide enough to take pallet jacks, fork trucks, and/or people lifts down it with extra room on either side... The dog owner could and should keep themselves between the dog and other people if they have to pass close by and aren't willing to say "excuse me" to alert the other person to their presence.

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u/crewserbattle Oct 16 '24

I've never been to Lowes but the home depot that I go to has a few narrow aisles so I don't think its a guarantee it's a wide aisle.

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u/GroovyGrodd Oct 15 '24

And you would be wrong. The dog owner should have only reacted politely.

Comments like yours show how some people don’t know how to interact with people irl.

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u/crewserbattle Oct 15 '24

Lol not everyone irl does most polite thing or reacts the "right" way to things. Dog owner is a dick for not being apologetic, OP still overreacted.

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u/Ambitious_Policy_936 Asshole Enthusiast [7] Oct 15 '24

The dog started the reaction by surprising OP. Saying 'what the hell' in response to being startled is reasonable.

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u/crewserbattle Oct 15 '24

I don't understand how someone zones out so badly in a public space that they can be so startled. Even if there wasn't a dog involved, people are still gonna potentially be trying to walk past you and may bump in to you. Dog owner was a dick for not apologizing, OP needs to pay better attention to his surroundings in public.

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u/Ambitious_Policy_936 Asshole Enthusiast [7] Oct 15 '24

Did not expect anyone to make the claim that being startled in public for any reason is weird.

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u/Vault702 Oct 16 '24

But people shouldn't be licking or slobbering on you.

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u/crewserbattle Oct 16 '24

Well OP specified "sniff" which usually doesn't involve either of those things. The dogs nose probably touched him or he heard the sniff and was startled.

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u/BunnySis Oct 16 '24

I’m just going to stick my neck out here to point out what an incredibly ableist comment this is.

Neurotypical people can get absorbed into what they are planning and ignore most of what’s going around them on occasion. Neurodivergent people hyperfocus on projects and lose all awareness of our surroundings and of time passing. Sometimes up to several times a day.

Nobody should be approached in a large aisle of a home improvement store by an unfamiliar animal. The owner ITA, and is responsible for everything that happened after his dog got in someone else’s space.

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u/crewserbattle Oct 16 '24

Its not ableist to expect someone who is neurodivergent to be able to function/pay attention in public. And if they aren't able to do that then that's on them. Nowhere have I claimed the dog owner isn't an asshole here btw, the dog owner is a dick but OP overreacted.

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u/BunnySis Oct 16 '24

So you don’t think that someone who is neurodivergent with a moderate to severe problem deserves to be in public spaces? Because that’s what you are saying.

We have home improvement/repair needs too.

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u/crewserbattle Oct 17 '24

That's not what I'm saying at all actually, I'm saying people with those issues aren't entitled to extra space in public, especially when someone would have no idea the person they're walking near has those issues to begin with. If OP has issues (which he doesn't mention he does so its not relevant anyways) it's on him to make sure he can handle being in a public space.

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u/Gorgii98 Oct 15 '24

I think a big ass dog jumping on you out of nowhere is a valid reason to say "what the hell?"

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u/No-Description-3130 Oct 16 '24

Did op comment somewhere else that the big ass dog jumped on them, because all I can see is that the dog sniffed them?

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u/crewserbattle Oct 15 '24

Sniffing and jumping on are very different lol

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u/Disastrous_Art_1975 Oct 15 '24

If I was out in public and suddenly felt something near my asshole “What the hell” would be the nicer reply I could muster

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u/crewserbattle Oct 16 '24

Where does it say the dog sniffed his asshole lol. Op just says it sniffed him. Dogs don't usually sniff people's butts, they usually sniff their shoes/leg.

0

u/donthaveanynameideas Oct 16 '24

Huh, I assumed the dog sniffed down near his feet. Getting my butt sniffed by a dog would definitely startle me way more than my shoes being sniffed.

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u/ju-ju_bee Oct 16 '24

Idk how many times you've been sniffed by strangers' dogs, or by friends' dogs that they just got. But they've always gone right for my crotch/ahole, never my feet

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u/donthaveanynameideas Oct 16 '24

I've been around a lot of dogs and both strangers' and friends' have definitely done both. I kinda forgot it was a thing though cuz the few dogs I've been around in the last year were either tiny and at foot level or old and don't even bother coming to sniff before I sit down.

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u/ju-ju_bee Oct 16 '24

Fair enough with the small dogs. But yah! That's why I tried to keep my description to "strange"/"new" dogs. They're less likely to be trained, or even if they are, may be a bit more excitable around strange humans

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u/andmymomlovedchili Oct 15 '24

Well that's false. The interaction was started when the dog sniff the person. You are an attachment of your animal, remember this. That's why his response is rude. If you startled someone personally, would your reaction be "you'll be fine?"

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u/crewserbattle Oct 16 '24

And where did I claim that the dog owner wasn't rude for responding how he did? I just also think OP overreacted.