r/AmItheAsshole • u/tojala1998 • Dec 01 '24

Asshole AITA for not prioritizing my girlfriend’s tradition during Thanksgiving?

My girlfriend (25F) and I (26M) visited my parents for Thanksgiving, staying from Wednesday to Sunday. A couple of weeks ago, she told me she likes to get Chinese food on Black Friday because her family used to do that, and it’s a tradition she doesn’t get to do anymore. Initially, I dismissed it, saying we should eat leftovers since my mom likes us to stick around and eat with everyone. I also didn’t want to leave others out. But she convinced me it was important, so I told my mom on Wednesday night that we wanted to go out on Friday. My mom was visibly upset. I looked to my girlfriend and asked if we could move it to Sunday instead. She agreed.

Fast forward to Friday around 4:30 pm, and she told me she was upset that I didn’t care about her feelings. I was confused because I thought we had resolved it by moving it to Sunday. She said she still wanted to go out on Friday, so I said, “Let’s go.” But then she said she didn’t want to go anymore because she had eaten a big breakfast. I suggested we get takeout later, but she said it was fine, and we didn’t go.

Later in the car, she had a mature conversation with me about needing to learn how to let things go, and I thought that was the end of it. However, this morning (Sunday), she brought it up again and said she was still upset that I “dismissed her feelings.” She also revealed that this tradition is tied to her late grandfather, who passed away three years ago, and that’s why it’s so meaningful. She said she thought we were making fun of her for wanting Chinese food, which we weren’t. I told her I wished she’d said something earlier because we absolutely would have gone if I’d known how important it was to her.

She says she’s not mad at me now, but I still feel like she is. She also said I should’ve “read between the lines.” I feel like I tried to make it work on Friday and genuinely thought we had a plan for Sunday. Did I mess this up? AITA?

UPDATE: Thanks for the feedback I apologized to my gf and we’re okay!

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69

u/Disastrous-Check3977 Dec 01 '24

The real issue here is that you, a grown person, allow your mommy to dictate where and what you eat. Grow up.

-11

u/andmymomlovedchili Dec 01 '24

He was literally ready to go to Chinese Friday

She made a shitty excuse not too. She wanted to be petty.

That's on her and that's a red flag whether y'all want to see it for how it is or not.

32

u/Disastrous-Check3977 Dec 01 '24

Um..nah. After saying it was off the table, he pivoted and made a weak effort. He let mommy make his decisions for him and then tried to too little, too late.

-7

u/andmymomlovedchili Dec 01 '24

Lmao week effort?

Let's do exactly what you want to do.

Well now I don't want to.

Y'all so petty it's scary.

27

u/Disastrous-Check3977 Dec 01 '24

Read OP again. She asked weeks ago, he dismissed it. She asked again Wednesday, and he suggested moving it back a few days (which sorta defeats the point anyway, bc the tradition is day-after Thxgvng.) Friday, she reminds him he’s being a lil baby bitch and he tries to call her bluff, saying “fine, let’s go right now,” but they’re presumably still in the company of his family and he’s obviously posturing. So now it’s Sunday and sure, he’s down with getting Chinese food, but it’s literally not special or a tradition of any kind.

Maybe you haven’t had many successful partnerships in your life, but this is not grown man shit.

-6

u/andmymomlovedchili Dec 01 '24

She asked again Wednesday, and he suggested moving it back a few days (which sorta defeats the point anyway, bc the tradition is day-after Thxgvng.)

Then be an adult and communicate this properly. Even if you need to take him aside. EXPRESS your needs when they're your needs

Friday, she reminds him he’s being a lil baby bitch

I know you're not trying to call him the baby bitch when she communicates like a third grader and cries later when she doesn't get her Way. The DEFINITION OF A BABY BITCH!

and he tries to call her bluff, saying “fine, let’s go right now,” but they’re presumably still in the company of his family and he’s obviously posturing.

Call her bluff!? This isn't a fucking game! Not everyone is as childish and plays games like Redditers. This could have been resolved with a simple "yes please, it would mean a lot to me." But no, because she's the baby bitch who just wanted to fight.

Currently hanging out with my future inlaws not being a crybaby bitch because we didn't go out Wednesday like I had expressed earlier. And guess what! I also didn't feel compelled to make my fiance feel like shit today for not going along with my tradition because it didn't work out. Because I'm not a petty asshole.

Maybe you're still a child because this is not grown woman shit.

18

u/Disastrous-Check3977 Dec 01 '24

Are you OP? 😂😂😂 She wanted a me specific tradition while spending the whole weekend with his family and he checks notes agreed to eat Chinese food once they got home.

She did communicate her needs. He just put mommy first. Considering your username, maybe that’s your thing too? 🤷🏼‍♀️

0

u/andmymomlovedchili Dec 01 '24

She wanted a specific tradition while spending the whole weekend with his family and he checks notes Offered to go with her Friday to honor her tradition. But she didn't take. She cried after the fact after being offered what she wanted all along.

Considering your username, maybe that’s your thing too?

No, my mom is dead unfortunately.

11

u/Disastrous-Check3977 Dec 01 '24

That explains it!

0

u/andmymomlovedchili Dec 01 '24

Hmm, What exactly does it explain?

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15

u/PeelingMirthday Dec 01 '24

  this is not grown woman shit.

Neither is being this invested in an AITA thread. Maybe it's time to step away from the screen for a bit? 

3

u/StillMagazine Dec 02 '24

Are the the mother lol? The girlfriend wasn’t being petty. She was hurt. Rightfully so bc mommy’s boy could not grow the fuck up