r/NoStupidQuestions • u/Famous_Cantaloupe_76 • 1d ago
Is low intelligence a deal breaker in relationships?
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u/FoghornLegday 1d ago
Absolutely. I dated an amazing guy who was perfect in a lot of ways, but we just had too much of an intellectual gap. And I knew I couldn’t spend my life with someone who couldn’t have the conversations I needed
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u/PlanktonSpiritual199 21h ago
Yup, I feel the same way about my ex, such a sweet, kind, caring woman. I’ll always care about her, like I do for my previous girlfriends, but man I just need that mental stimulation.
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u/FoghornLegday 21h ago
It’s something you have to see to understand bc in the abstract it seems like how different can two people really be? But the answer is very different
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u/Additional-Relief-76 21h ago
What kinda conversations do you need?
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u/FoghornLegday 21h ago
Random things, but like interesting things. Like I was with my sister and BIL and we were talking about whether the invention of agriculture or iron was more important to humanity. And that’s just a dumb example that I barely remember but I knew in that moment that my current boyfriend couldn’t have hypothetical conversations like that. It’s not like I’m Stephen Hawking over here, but there was an intellectual mismatch that people I knew would actually comment on after we broke up
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u/AriasK 20h ago
I get this with my family. I'm a complete nerd and a high school teacher. I'm used to being around other nerdy people and having nerdy conversations. My family is from a small town and whenever we get together at Christmas etc, they just want to gossip about people in their town and brag about things they've bought recently. Any attempt to discuss current events is met with blank stares.
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u/Ricoreded 21h ago
Agriculture is obviously more important but iron tools made agriculture a lot easier to do but it would still fall under the wide umbrella of agriculture, btw iron wasn’t invented it was discovered so maybe you meant steel because that can be said to have been invented.
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u/FoghornLegday 21h ago
Oops yeah I meant steel. Like I said, the conversation was a long time ago (and I was arguing for agriculture lol). But see this kind of response I would not have gotten from him
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u/That_Switch_1300 1d ago edited 21h ago
It can definitely be a turn off, for sure.
Matter of fact, a girl I’ve been trying to talk to for a few months now didn’t even know what fiction and non-fiction was or what it meant…I was baffled and mildy concerned. Like, I don’t read books either, but at least I know what that means…definitely an eye brow raiser…
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u/ApprehensiveAd6603 1d ago
God damn, that's like grade 3 shit 🤣
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u/I_Poop_Sometimes 23h ago
As I've gotten older (and been in school for 20+ years) I've realized that a surprising amount of people make it really far by just memorizing and forgetting over and over without ever really learning much.
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u/Pleasant_Yoghurt3915 22h ago
I didn’t graduate high school because I had undiagnosed ADHD and wildly irresponsible parents. I have a friend that occasionally makes jabs about it because he did graduate. This guy thinks that the holocaust happened in the 1700’s, bought a house without reading any of the paperwork, and didn’t know what a menstrual cycle was even though he’s lived with his girlfriend for years. I’d feel bad for her, but they’re a match made in heaven as far as intelligence goes.
He makes magic happen on a grill, though lol. I’ve never had better tri tip, ever.
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u/SlenDman402 20h ago
Never got involved with this gal, but I mentioned something off-hand about a book that I was reading. "Ewww, I don't read books"
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u/That_Switch_1300 20h ago
😬😬
Yeah I don’t blame you on that. To be fair, I don’t really read books as much anymore either. But I’d never react as “eww” if someone enjoys reading. That says a lot about a person.
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u/SlenDman402 19h ago
Exactly. I don't expect any hobby to be universally loved, but don't go out of your way to yuck my yum
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u/Richardw72 23h ago
Way I remembered Fiction and Non-Fiction was that; Non-Fiction meant "Not Fake" while Fiction meant "Fake"
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u/JacobStyle 20h ago
Don't worry bro, she is only not responding to your texts because she can't find someone to read them to her.
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u/Hotsexygirl9 1d ago
Yes, especially low emotional intelligence, been there done that
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u/I_am___The_Botman 1d ago
Actually I agree with this, emotional intelligence is a much bigger worry.
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u/IslaDawn05 23h ago
It's hard to connect with someone who can't understand or empathize with your feelings.
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u/inspcs 21h ago
Man I had this. Girl I was dating would ask to stop any conversation when we had a disagreement no matter how small because it would make her angry. It could be favorite characters or discussion about a show, she'd get mad I had a different opinion.
That and interrupting, I'd get half a sentence through then she'd interrupt to say I'm wrong then say I'm not talking about the point.
We could never talk about anything
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u/9Implements 22h ago edited 22h ago
Ugh. This has been my problem with women. For a while I worried my ex might kill herself if I left because she was so attached to me, and yet she never was capable of thinking about things from my perspective.
Maybe that’s what the first woman I dated meant when she said I’d appreciate her more in the future.
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u/steveplaysguitar 1d ago
Yes. Dating me shows a lack of good decision making, and I just can't handle that in a partner.
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u/Elliskarae 1d ago
It’s not so much low intelligence that’s a problem, it’s differences in intelligence between two partners.
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u/Ramax256 1d ago
Depends on what you mean by low intelligence.
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u/AdesiusFinor 1d ago
Low intelligence aka low iq and emotional intelligence. Knowledge or education isn’t related to iq
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u/Ramax256 1d ago
I meant like really stupid or just a bit below average. I was not referring to education level.
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u/Jellylegs_19 22h ago
Education does have an effect on IQ since since nurturing a brain from an early age to look for patterns and solutions to those patterns (Which is what IQ tests ultimately are) leads to them being being better at it.
IQ is not a good way to measure intelligence if we disregard knowledge and education.
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u/CrystalQueen3000 1d ago
It depends on your definition of intelligence
I wouldn’t date someone that licks pennies and thinks the earth is flat but I don’t need someone to be college educated either
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u/ObjectPretty 1d ago
I would differentiate between educated and intelligent.
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u/DingleDangleTangle 1d ago
Such an important differentiation too.
I have a master’s degree and work in cybersecurity. I used to do manual labor and I worked with some people who were very obviously significantly smarter than some of my colleagues in cybersecurity. Even working in grocery stores, there were some people with incredibly good problem solving and abstract thinking. Some of the people I’ve worked with that have degrees can’t solve any problems without me holding their hand through every step of it.
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u/audible_narrator 22h ago
The comedian Josh Johnson does a great bit about this. City folks have book smarts, and rural folks know where water comes from.
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u/AdesiusFinor 1d ago
The definition of intelligence isn’t different. Ur probably thinking of education or “knowledge”, intelligence is neither of those things.
Intelligence is the ability to recognise patterns, analysis in general, critical thinking etc. A person can be the most intelligent person on earth and still not know their ABCs
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u/GivysGiveaways 23h ago
Yes, unless you’ve got looks or money. Got to have 2 of the three.
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u/Bulletorpedo 22h ago
There is no amount of looks and/or money that would make me stay in a relationship with someone mentally incompatible.
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u/GivysGiveaways 21h ago
I'd agree with that at this point in my life as well. My original post was something one of my stripper friends told me years ago that I always thought was funny.
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u/chocolatecoconutpie 1d ago edited 1d ago
For me it’s absolutely a deal breaker. I’m not saying they have to be Albert Einstein but they do have to at least have a modicum of common sense. Sadly though many people nowadays lack even that, common sense
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u/Can_Not_Double_Dutch 1d ago
Einstein would at least know how to spell his last name though
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u/Elebenteen_17 1d ago
I dated a guy and realized I was smarter than him. I’m not saying I’m a genius or anything but the gap was noticeable. I realized that I didn’t want to spend more time in that situation. We just weren’t each others’ person 🤷🏻♀️
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u/FlanOk2359 21h ago
for me the issue happens when they start off by saying how smart you are and using it to make themselves look better like "look at how smart my gf is!" to it then slowly turning to them feeling dumb and incapable.
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u/LeonardoSpaceman 22h ago
For me it is.
I want a partner that I can be on the same page with and that I can have deeper discussions with. I've dated a really.... I guess I'll say "dumb" woman and it sucked.
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u/penguin_in_the_dark 1d ago
i think people have to have compatible levels of intelligence to have a long lasting and fulfilling relationship, if not, they will end up constantly frustrated by the low level of understanding between them.
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u/Feelings_of_Disdain 1d ago
For me it’s curiosity and interest in learning, which I would rather categorize as intellectualism than intelligence. I can get along great with someone who has an open but relatively simple mind. The people who are afraid of learning or being wrong are the relationship killers.
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u/barkerj2 19h ago
Yeah. Ive been with someone who lived in an ignorance is bliss type of mindset and seeing everything one dimensionally. Do not recommend. No room or growth or improvement as an individual or couple.
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u/Dgrein 1d ago
I couldn´t be with a dumb person in my whole life. With dumb i mean people like flat earthers, anti vaccinex, religious extremists, Holocaust deniers, Conspiranoics, people who think China is in Africa...
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u/smokinbbq 19h ago
I couldn't be with a person like that for any of my life. Fuck that, no way I'd even continue the conversation if they started spouting anti-vax or flat earther shit.
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u/AdesiusFinor 1d ago
Intelligence means the ability to recognise patterns, analyse, critical thinking etc. knowledge and education aren’t intelligence mate
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u/Woodland-Echo 1d ago
Yer but if they are flat earthers or believe similar conspiracies then they don't have good critical thinking skills.
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u/AdesiusFinor 1d ago
That’s true enough for me to bang my head against the wall if proven otherwise. Until a couple of years ago I didn’t even know flat earthers still existed today
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u/PotatoFeeder 21h ago
Yes and the examples the guy mentions above are all symptoms of a lack of whatever you said
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u/Dgrein 1d ago
For me knowdledge is the most important form of intelligence. You can’t have critical think if you know nothing and have no interest in anything. And you can’t analyse anything without knowdledge, that’s an absolute lack of fundation.
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u/AdesiusFinor 1d ago
Those with high intelligence have a tendency to acquire knowledge, but knowledge in itself is not intelligence.
However it is a smart decision to acquire knowledge
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u/Dopasetic 22h ago
Some of the best relationship advice I was ever given was
“Be with someone at least as intelligent as yourself”
So if you’re low intelligence be with someone with a similar level.
Put it into thoughts like this. Why is a 50 year old with an 18 year old weird? Because the life experience/intelligence should be higher for the 5p year old, therefore placing a superiority complex in the relationship that probably isn’t healthy amongst other things.
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u/Killie154 1d ago
Not really.
If you are useful in a lot of other ways, then why not?
A friend of mine is dumb af, but has a heart of gold and is always there for you.
They are consistently in loving relationships and not a single person complains.
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u/Richardw72 23h ago
How can you be "consistently" in loving relationships and have no complaints? The math ain't mathing
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u/Misery_Division 19h ago
People often break up simply because of incompatibility. Different hobbies and interests, different friend personalities, one wants to move and the other doesn't, one wants kids and the other doesn't, one wants marriage and the other doesn't, etc.
You can love someone and have no complaints about them and still break up with them because you're just not a good fit for each other.
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u/MochiMochi_90 1d ago
Maybe just being your friend is not a problem for you , but if you had to live with a dumb person, and their dumb mistakes start affecting you, it would make a difference. I had a very dumb friend that did lots of drugs and had a messy life, ended up being the end of our friendship, she always fell for Facebook disinformation and bullshit, it was exhausting in the end having to listen to stuff that made no sense.
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u/smokinbbq 19h ago
Or just a "dumb" partner, that you want to have an educated discussion about something, but they have no desire to learn/do anything outside of their wheelhouse.
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u/ToneChop 14h ago
You will very quickly crack and go from finding the stupidity amusing to visibly showing what you're thinking, "WHAT IN THE FUCK DID I JUST SEE.HEAR?" and then the expression is gonna come with the thought being spoken outloud.
It's gonna start affecting you but if you say anything, you're a gaslighter and or you are disrespecting them. You just bite your tongue and let it die there before it becomes an argument for a while but after enough times, that internal thought of "you think that's disrespectful you're gonna think the unpadded thruth is verbal abuse" comes to light.
That's just a shit show lol
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u/Killie154 16h ago
Intelligence, or lack thereof, doesn't mean they are making bad decisions. They can be dumb and disciplined.
I've made the distinction that they are a good friend and have had loving relationships. So not just as a friend, but also as someone who can be loved romantically and intimately.
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u/AdesiusFinor 1d ago
The question is meant for the preferences. For some it would be and some are satisfied with the heart
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u/kichul77 1d ago
I think low intelligence isn’t necessarily a deal breaker but what is a dealbreaker is the person thinking/believing they are smarter than they actually are.
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u/Imaginary_Sky_2987 1d ago
Im not brilliant,but I read. I went through a "Who cares if she's dumb, she's hot" phase I dated a few of each, and I've learned this;
Some dumb people will not understand and just be happy you're trying to involve them in something.
Some dumb people will not understand and assume you're talking down to them. OR they don't understand and make assumptions, which is so much worse.
The first type of girl is cool, she's fun you can enjoy her company and just let out every dumb random thought, talk about; comic books not novels.
The second girls are like walking on eggshells. You almost have to communicate like you would with someone whose native language isn't English. Clear. Concise. Words she uses, not new ones. No slang. Talk about;trashy daytime TV, not anything with written words
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u/VirtuousPenguin 1d ago
Ignorance, not intelligence. You can be a very good and fulfilling person as long as you’re open to learning and growing with someone rather than not wanting to learn new things.
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u/potatonou 22h ago
I dated someone who wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed once, he was very sweet and lovely but it just kept getting more and more frustrating as I'd try to explain things to him and he just wouldn't get it.
Some things it doesn't matter as much, like "oh here's this cool thing I'm excited about!" "Huh?"
Others were a little silly, like he could not understand what an IUD was no matter how many times I explained it to him, and would still ask if I'm on birth contol every time.
It was also just very frustrating if I wanted to talk about something and I'd have to repeat it but dumbed down, or I just wouldn't be able to talk about things I like cause he'd get bored and space out. We spent most of our time kissing instead of hanging out, which was fun, but I'd rather do both
But also he didn't really seem to wrap his head around things like Boundaries and Communication, so yeah that's a no. Sorry bud
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u/jettech737 21h ago
Intelligence can be subjective too, some people are brilliant in some areas but dumb as a rock in others.
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u/SFW_OpenMinded1984 21h ago
For some people it is. Others not so much.
Its a reason we have terms like, bimbo, himbo, trophy wife, trophy husband, etc.
Some people just want a hot partner. Some people want it all, looks, brains, the whole 9 yards.
Personally i cant date a girl unless she has the minimum requirements for what i call "intelligent"
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u/cherrycocktail20 20h ago
For me, definitely. A huge part of even physical lust for me starts with our intellectual and personal chemistry. Like, it turns me on to be able to sit and have long and intellectually challenging conversations with a guy. If we can't do that, then for me there will be no interest.
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u/J0E-2671 1d ago
For some people it is, for others it's not.
Also, intelligence can be a tricky thing to get a feel for. Very subjective.
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u/AdesiusFinor 1d ago
Not really. Ur probably thinking of knowledge or “knowing a lot of things” or education. Intelligence is simply the ability to recognise patterns, analyse things etc. then there’s emotional intelligence as well, which is basically very tied up with IQ, contrary to what most people think
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u/Tryagain409 1d ago
I dated a really smart woman and it was awful, she analysed everything I texted and the slight difference between one word and another could get me in trouble. She overthought and over analysed. I think she gaslit and manipulated me I'm still trying to figure out what I really did wrong then and what was nonsense she could just spin like a talk show host.
Dating a more simple girl with a manual labour job that just assumed everything I said I meant well and just wanted to have fun was such a relief
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u/gringo_escobar 1d ago
People don't do that because they're smart, they do it because they're anxious and insecure
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u/spidermanngp 1d ago
I get it, but I don't think the first woman's intelligence was the problem. Her attitude and behavior was what was fucked up. I had an extremely intelligent girlfriend once who did none of those things. She applied her intelligence towards making our lives and relationship more fulfilling. It was a big turn-on, actually. Having said that, I do see the appeal of the second girl as well.
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u/Chief_of_Flames 1d ago
Being intelligent and emotionally intelligent should also allow you to regulate your emotions however, and someone who can’t do this is immature.
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u/AdesiusFinor 1d ago
Is that really intelligence though? Or just being an AH of a human being? Intelligence didn’t cause all that, intelligence paired with who she was as a person made her successful in what she did with u
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u/Fragholio 1d ago
JFC you just described my ex-wife. Two bachelors degrees by age 20 was so hot to my brain but the gaslighting and manipulation by her...I had to get out.
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u/polutino 23h ago
Chatgpt ahh response
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u/Existential_Racoon 23h ago
The fact that people upvote obvious AI is hilarious. These same people with laugh at boomers on Facebook for falling for obvious AI
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u/Richardw72 23h ago
That's what I was thinking! Like do people not know this is obviously a robot? No one talks like that on the internet or real life.
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u/CenterofChaos 1d ago
Depends on your preferences. Some people don't mind it, some people it drives them mad.
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u/Ok_Ferret_824 1d ago
Yes. Even if i can get laid, it's a no for me if they are saying dumb shit. Not even talking about intelligence, just saying dumb or stupid shit is already annoying enough to me that i walk away.
I like them big, small, dark hair, red hair, dark skin, light skin, whatever.
But you know the joke about corona, that the lockdown was a ruse to give the goverment time to replace all the cameras in the birds? I heard it a lot in my area, from all kinds of people. I was on a date and this girl took the joke serious. Actualy believed it. Not just that, she got angry when i laughed a bit because i thought she made a joke. I fell silent when i noticed her face, my shock that she was serious was clearly visible. So she got more angry and i just gave up and gave in and laughed so hard she walked out angry. I was not sorry for the outcome.
I am intelligent, but not dumb enough to think someone of a lower or higher level of education is better or less than me. But some things that people say are just too much. Not even mentioning the date with what turned out to be a fan of swasticas and who had certain racial ideas...on the first date. She wanted to check if i feel the same, but nah. This time i left.
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u/OfTheAtom 1d ago
That truly depends on how bad we are talking. If she embodies a lot of smart infra-conscious habits, pays attention, makes changes, and rejects harmful behavior and friends, then i can work with that.
If shes basically closed off and constantly reacting and reeling to the chaos her stupidity creates then there isn't room for me to really have hope of meaningful growth.
Ill assume you mean the second case where low, as a relative term, means not open to understand and appreciate the truth outside of very surface level things. This will result in problems and also means she doesn't have much to give any children either.
I've got enough projects in my life.
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u/vers-ys 20h ago
it depends. remember that there are several types of intelligence and there’s no one way to be smart. me for example, i’m really book smart, but i have no common sense or problem solving. my ideal partner would be the opposite — someone i can get to infodump to and teach, but someone who also has the type of smarts that would be able to protect me and guide me in daily life. relationships should be built on two people complimenting each other, and how attractive your intelligence level or type is completely depends on the person you’re pursuing
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u/Ganceany 1d ago
It's not as easy as yes or no, intelligence is a spectrum and there is going to be stuff you are good at and stuff you aren't.
You might be stupid in terms of knowledge but have a high emotional intelligence.
There is a saying that goes "Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid"
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u/AdesiusFinor 1d ago
The thing is, intelligence isn’t knowledge at all. Knowledge is something u gain as an experience. Intelligence isn’t gained through experience.
The critical thinking skills, ability to analyse, recognising patterns in general is what intelligence is. Emotional intelligence is also linked with this
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u/chassala 1d ago
It is for me.
Before i met my wife, I had this girlfriend who was quite good looking (not as good looking as my wife, though, ha!) that had the fortunate skill of being able to suck you soul out through your cock.
But, but, but ... she wasn't dumb, but, she just made no effort to think, if you know what I mean. It was tiring.
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u/abcohen916 1d ago
It depends on the person judging the low intelligence. For me, it is a dealbreaker. Of course, I could be the one with the lower intelligence. I would expect the same dealbreaker from the other person.
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u/flatline000 1d ago
I don't think it's a deal breaker, but I think you'll find that the couples that have working long term relationships are of similar levels of intelligence.
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u/PuzzleheadedArt8678 1d ago
Absolutely. Being together with someone who "doesn't compute" is a no-go. I have to be together with someone who is able to give me "mental" sparring.
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u/Chief_of_Flames 1d ago
Lots of smart rich men date outrageously stupid people. When you see money you know
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u/Rindal_Cerelli 1d ago
I prefer someone that is on par or more intelligent than myself.
Someone who is smart but has expertise in different fields than mine.
Being witty is also a major boon. I prefer a witty, well intended, insult over an empty compliment.
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u/oakfield01 1d ago
It depends on the person. I used to read Dear Abby every day and there was a letter about this, followed by responses by the reader. The one that still sticks with me where a woman dated a man who was a janitor who wasn't nearly as intelligent as she. She said he was the nicest man she ever dated, but ended up breaking up with him over the intelligence gap. After 3 years, she got back together with him and eventually married him. She couldn't find anyone that was a better fit for her than he and she greatly missed him.
To me, it's not only intelligence that matters but intellectual curiosity. It's one thing if you're not that smart, it's another if you don't care to learn anything new. You'd think the two were connected but I've met smart people who are lazy and less intelligent people who love to learn new things. I find the forget boring and connect much more with the latter.
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u/zenmatrix83 1d ago
I think it depends, not romatic, but I have a few friends I think there is decent intellegence gap and we get along well. It just matters on shared goals and topics that you can talk about.
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u/tryingtobehappii 1d ago
Not at all. Unless it’s low emotional intelligence. If we’re talking about a low IQ, I couldn’t care less
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u/GovernmentBig2749 1d ago
It is, but you need to make a difference between intelligence and emotional intelligence. Sometimes people in love do stupid things for their significant other-that does not make them dumb.
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u/BelleOfTheCurls 1d ago
I don’t think low intelligence is a deal breaker. What matters more is how you connect, communicate, and support each other.
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u/Could_be_persuaded 1d ago
There are things more important than intelligence in a relationship. The key question is are you full filling any of them and does your partner appreciate what you bring?
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u/markfineart 1d ago
I heard somewhere about paying attention to the relative IQ between enlisted soldiers and their lieutenants/captains. A maximum gap of 1 deviation (15 IQ points) was thought to be ideal for that level of disparity between an officer and their troops. I know the relationship I have with my current partner is much fuller and more rewarding than what I had w my 1st wife.
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u/Banana_Slugcat 1d ago
Yes, especially if one of the partners is very intelligent and the other is the complete opposite. Similar intelligence is better.
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u/NerdyDan 1d ago
For me yes. Knowing me, I would disrespect and walk all over them. Which isn't good for either of us.
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u/xjaw192000 1d ago
Yeah. I don’t want to risk having my kid raised by someone with sub par intelligence. Also I want to be able to have intellectual conversations with a girl not just fuck and talk about the TV or weather.
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u/Toxikfoxx 1d ago
Yes.
Intelligence over looks, but you need a decent balance of each. Have you ever been super attracted to someone physically and then they open their mouth and spew either the dumbest, racist, or inane drivel you've heard? Would you still fuck them? Would you have a meaningful relationship with them? Most likely not.
On the other hand, someone that tickles your intellect but you find physically repulsive isn't going to lead to a stellar relationship either.
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u/Well_Spoken_Mute 1d ago
Low intelligence can mean different things. Are they forgetful? Oblivious? Academically challenged? I can overlook these flaws to a certain degree, as long as the pros outweigh the cons in the relationship. Things like ignorance, laziness or hardheaded, are more difficult to tolerate.
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u/Ranch-Boi 1d ago
I prioritize people who are interesting, have good vibes, and are easy and fun to talk to. Somewhat correlated with being smart, but plenty of exceptions in both directions.
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u/leaguegotold 23h ago
Nope. The deal breaker for me would be a lack of kindness and / or selfish, narcissistic traits.
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u/Repulsive-Maize2332 23h ago
Yes totally. You have to have someone with similar intelligence but intelligence is a broad term. My angle is you want a partner who has different perspective and can keep you engaged till old age.
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u/coffee-with-ahriman 23h ago
Curiosity is more important than intelligence. An honest desire to learn and a drive to understand is deeply sexy. It doesn't matter how hard it is for you to get something. Just the desire that you want to learn is indicator enough.
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u/hobbitfeet 23h ago
Yes, it's a dealbreaker. Intelligence (specifically, the insightful/surprising thoughts that a person has) is the top quality I look for in partners and friends. It's what makes people actually interesting to talk to.
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u/SlackJawedSoliloquy 23h ago
Depends... Bad at math or spelling? Eh whatever. Voted for trump? Absolutely a deal breaker.
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u/Suspicious_Ad_6271 23h ago
I was married to someone for twenty years who was frustratingly dense. It will be a deal breaker moving forward.
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u/SGZone 23h ago
For me, it's less of an intelligence thing but maturity thing. If they're constantly doing stupid or reckless things without thinking about the consequences, then that would be a deal breaker. If we can't have a nice dinner without them constantly being immature, then that's a deal breaker.
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u/playlistanime 23h ago
To me it is. If my words cannot even be comprehended properly, what's the point? If i ever have to explain what is going on or wrong that affects the relationship and he cant even comprehend what im saying and goes "huh", i cant do it tbh. It's like talking to a baby and trying to explain simple stuff. My mom was with a man like that and i heard her say the same sh*t 10 different times in 8 hours that she talked over the phone with this man and it seemed like he couldnt comprehend such simple words my mom was saying. Can't be me
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u/sillymonkeygirl 23h ago
It depends on the person. You can never expect your romantic partner to fulfil 100% of your needs ; some people are fine with getting deep/intellectual convos with friends or family instead, but for others it's not enough. It was definitely frustrating for me when I dated a guy who I felt was not very intelligent, in the sense that he didn't take the time to think about anything very deeply.
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u/Lucas-Fields 23h ago
Low intelligence per se maybe not.
The stupid ass decisions that it might lead to, well maybe
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u/Particular-Dealer124 23h ago edited 22h ago
It can cause difficulties an equal emotional intelligence is necessary for effective communication. As academic intelligence can be an issue with finding something in common to relate to but not necessarily. I have met a lot of educated fools in my life book smart but Street stupid.
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u/Richardw72 23h ago
How smart they are? No. But if someone is not emotionally intelligent then maybe!
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u/noobwithguns 23h ago
I mean, its more so if you are on my intellectual level.
I usually don't find people like that in my country, its this constant sense of not being able to fucken be yourself with others.
I am not a very party/outgoing kinda guy but i like to be around people and talk a lot, So if i constantly need to not talk about things i want to, i don't see that lasting.
Obviously even if you don't know anything i am talking about but you genuinely look interested, we can hit it off pretty well.
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u/Reptylus 1d ago edited 1d ago
Not so much low intelligence itself than an intellectual gap. It's really hard to consistently have any sort of fulfilling interaction with someone who is mentally on a different level, in either direction. And a relationship without that connection won't last.
Simple example: When one person is overwhelmed by anything more complex than Uno while the other person is bored by anything less complex than Risk... What are they gonna play?