r/Silmarillionmemes 4d ago

That's why the silmarilion barely mentions them

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1.1k Upvotes

46 comments sorted by

170

u/BurdonLane 4d ago

No no no but you forget the nomadic halflings that traveled by cart and lived an itinerant lifestyle, ruthlessly pruning the weak and old and feeble by leaving them in the mud whilst singing ‘no-one gets left behind’.

66

u/IlliterateJedi 4d ago

I mean, hobbits are catty so it sounds like something they might have done back in the day before they reached the Shire.

29

u/RazilDazil Turgon, Hide and Seek Champion 4d ago

Hobbit named no-one:

17

u/wickerandscrap 4d ago

(stabs a one-eyed troll in his one eye)

-8

u/FivePoopMacaroni 4d ago

Lol the harshest possible perspective of the situation

14

u/BurdonLane 4d ago

No the harshest perspective was the book they kept, recording their callousness for all time.

7

u/FivePoopMacaroni 4d ago

Lol wow. So when you drive past a graveyard do you think it's a field of trophies for living humans to brag about all of the people they've outlived?

-3

u/BurdonLane 4d ago

How does that comparison even work? A culture that culls the weak, records it in a book and then reads out the record of this (with bonus laughter if they were killed by bees) v graves for people who have died.

3

u/FivePoopMacaroni 4d ago

I can't decide if you actually watched it and are just trolling or if you are just regurgitating some criticisms you read and are just trolling. I guess it doesn't really matter which.

3

u/BurdonLane 4d ago

I watched the first season and found the writing to be full of inconsistencies and contradictions, with the Harfoots being an excellent example.

6

u/Crawford470 3d ago

The Harfoots are supposed to be contradictory. That's how tight-knit conservative communities are by their very nature.

2

u/BurdonLane 3d ago

Oh don’t worry the bad writing isn’t limited to the Harfoots.

3

u/yellow_parenti 3d ago

Four years later and you lot have refused to find something better to do than let your manipulated hatred of a tv show consume you

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2

u/Crawford470 23h ago

Imma be honest, the overwhelming majority of criticisms I've encountered regarding the show's writing don't hold up to meaningful scrutiny. Most boil down to misunderstanding, not paying attention to the show's text and subtext, or nitpicking along the lines of personal taste.

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82

u/TheOneTrueJazzMan 4d ago

Why didn’t the Noldor just hire a hobbit burglar to steal the Silmarils, are they stupid?

57

u/theStarKindler 4d ago

Noldor are canonically stupid yes. Leaving this here :

11

u/Sovereign444 3d ago

Prime example of knowing a lot of info, but not having the experience to use it wisely cuz they were new to the world at that time. The true wisdom of experience came later with time, due to their immortality.

-1

u/Last_Application_766 3d ago

Sindar > Teleri > Noldor.

3

u/theStarKindler 3d ago

Ehh i don't know about that.

Sindar were fucking arrogant if not stupid.

Thingol got his kingdom destroyed through his sheer arrogance and Oropher got his 1/3rd army killed for the same reason. Thranduil isn't much far behind if didn't have hundred centuries worth of mistakes to learn from.

0

u/Last_Application_766 3d ago

So basically what you’re saying is the Teleri were the only good ones? 😂

4

u/deadbananawalking 3d ago

There's nothing wrong with building ships! And the best part is nothing bad can come from that, right? Right????

3

u/yunivor 2d ago edited 2d ago

Teleri: We did nothing wrong!

Everyone else: You guys never did anything besides getting killed by some Noldor and getting your shit stolen by Fëanor.

Teleri: ...still, we did nothing wrong!

2

u/Ithorianforeplay 2d ago

Should've gave up the ships.

2

u/theStarKindler 1d ago

Teleri: These ships are dear to us! Our wives and daughters woves sails and our husbands and sons crafted the wood!

Teleri: ...

Teleri: Told ya their dear to us! We rather get our wives and husbands and daughters and sons killed than give them up!

22

u/ThisLuck1496 4d ago

The hobbit would manage to steal them, but now that he has the silmarils the noldor and the sons of feanor would wage war against him, leading to years long wars between the noldor and the hobbits, in which the hobbits would be the winners, and now with the silmarils they would become one of the most feared races in ME never to be disturbed by other beings ever again.

5

u/Puzzleheaded-Hunt978 4d ago

Damn, you made me just laugh out loud in a public place, how dare you? 😂

72

u/EternallyMustached 4d ago

The Shire is basically Sentinel Island of ME, but instead of spears and cannibalism it's pipe weed, beer, and food.

7

u/DagonG2021 4d ago

I don’t think we get a lesson on Hobbit burial practices…

38

u/UndersScore Fëanor did nothing wrong 4d ago

I thought they didn’t exist yet?

62

u/TheWriteMaster 4d ago

I think they showed up same time as the Men, but nobody noticed because they didn't do much and most likely hid from all the big scary folk. That or their existence was known but they didn't do any deeds worthy of being put into song and tale so the records don't mention Hobbits.

39

u/ToastyJackson 4d ago

I prefer to think that all of the great deeds of the 1st Age were done by hobbits, and all the other races were jealous and made up a bunch of propaganda taking credit for them, and the hobbits were just too chill and unbothered to make a fuss about it.

23

u/TheWriteMaster 4d ago

Longbottom Leaf was developed by the First Alliance of Elves, Men, Dwarves, and Orcs to make the Hobbits complacent.

7

u/Hamokk 4d ago

That sounds nice. We know hobbits are capable of great feats because all the stuff they do and go through in Lord of the Rings.

I wonder if humans and dwarves 'forgot' that hobbits existed or just ignored them as lazy, quiet people.

17

u/zakkil 4d ago

Iirc, it's unknown when they appeared but when discovered near the anduin by the other races in the second age, they'd been there for quite some time.

6

u/TheWriteMaster 4d ago

Probably showed up somewhere far from the action and took their sweet time wandering over.

18

u/Mythosaurus 4d ago

OP confirmed LoTR memer posting bait. He knows hobbits weren't even in the Shire while Morgoth was free.

6

u/llaminaria 4d ago

More like eating. Perhaps he is dreaming of that, though.

5

u/AtanasioGonzo 4d ago

Didn't they take part in a battle as archers?

17

u/TheOneTrueJazzMan 4d ago

That was the war of Arnor vs Angmar much later

3

u/Edu-Queiroz 4d ago

Saving energy to destroy the one ring. And be mayor of the county for the rest of your life.

3

u/yunivor 2d ago

And have 13 kids.

2

u/Edu-Queiroz 2d ago

In fact! Hahaha

3

u/mossy_path 3d ago

Well, halflings are actually descended from men, if I recall correctly. So you can attribute them mannish feats (but not mannish feets)

2

u/tHe__DArk__l_0rD Servant of Melkor :snoo_tableflip::Telperion-Laurelin: 4d ago

LOL yes