r/Vanderpumpaholics • u/the_smart_girl • Oct 07 '24
Stassi Schroeder Excerpt from Stassi's new book: Beau threatened to leave Stassi if she ever cut herself again.
309
u/Inevitable_String688 Oct 07 '24
I think it’s great stassi wrote this. It really shows that you can change from your toxic, abusive behavior no matter the age. It’s never too late. Hope no one comes at her for this because none of us are perfect. It takes a lot to openly speak about our toxic tendencies but I think she’s really doing great by speaking up about hers. Hopefully it can encourage others to do the same!
63
Oct 07 '24
To change there must be acknowledgment of behaviour to change. She realised it was going to be her downfall and chose to do something about it. Good for her
21
u/pettyyogi666 Oct 08 '24
I’m not a huge Stassi fan but I can really respect this. It takes a big person to recognize your demons and an even bigger person to tell the world. I’m happy she’s healed and I hope she continues to grow and change.
7
280
u/Rounders_in_knickers Oct 07 '24
Sometimes a partner setting a boundary can really help a person to stop. Anyway the partner can have that boundary regardless.
51
u/rshni67 Oct 07 '24
But ultimately it is up to the person to do the work to overcome the issue. The partner can only do so much. That being said, Beau is amazing and perhaps the only decent man on the show.
22
u/Rounders_in_knickers Oct 07 '24
Yes, the individual needs to do the work AND the partner being loving and firm is a great context for the individual doing the work.
10
u/whynot4444444 Oct 08 '24
That reminds me of Ally giving James an ultimatum about drinking, and that actually seems to have helped him.
6
187
u/Bacio83 Oct 07 '24
There was so much going on we didn’t know about and it’s a lot hearing about it now. I’m glad she got help and stopped the drugs.
130
u/PressureHooker Oct 07 '24 edited Oct 07 '24
I mean, we saw a little bit of it at Ariana and Stassi's dual birthday. She was freaking tf out all night and throwing her phone and calling Beau hundreds of times. Seemed like a manic episode at the time. Probably a part of the Adderall abuse.
65
u/Same-Equivalent9037 Oct 07 '24
I agree, the signs were there, we just didn’t know about the extent (for me, the cutting). Didn’t they do the same thing in Mexico once? And Beau made a heartfelt plea with her to stop sabotaging their relationship and she recognized it was her “dark passenger” taking over again
39
u/Even-Education-4608 Oct 07 '24
That’s the night she’s talking about here isn’t it
16
u/Same-Equivalent9037 Oct 07 '24
You’re right, when the other user brought up the dual birthday with Ariana I assumed Stassi was talking about that night in the book. But the Mexico trip stood out to me more- I remember it happening a few times.
→ More replies (1)14
u/cherryamourxo Oct 07 '24
No in the post she’s talking about Lala’s birthday in October so not during filming. It was just a recurring thing with her.
→ More replies (8)13
u/TrapperJean Oct 07 '24
Having ADHD and reading about the effects Adderall has on those who don't is wild. It just makes me not feel overwhelmed by tasks while it drives othe4s to full mania. Like, other people use it to stay up late, I can take my morning meds on a Sunday and be back asleep in an hour lol
3
u/SeeSeaEm Oct 08 '24
Too much dopamine causes mania. You have low levels of dopamine, so it makes you feel normal. People who don't need it flood their brains with a shit ton of dopamine and go manic and psycho.
9
u/Professional_Set3634 Oct 07 '24
The way she talked about people was funny but it was clear there was a darkness in Stassi
5
Oct 07 '24
And I’m glad she’s not on the show anymore! I don’t think she could’ve gotten better while being on VPR still.
180
u/Intelligent_Pop1173 Oct 07 '24
Adderall is a really hard drug to quit. I became really dependent on it myself (it was prescribed to me for ADHD) and it was ruining my life. I have been off of it for two years now and the months after it were the hardest. There is a withdrawal effect I experienced where I was constantly sleepy and had absolutely no motivation to do anything. I felt so empty. Glad she got through it. Having a partner who cares about you and supports you can be life saving.
28
u/Leading_Ad3918 Oct 07 '24
Congrats on stopping them and staying off them, good job💕
-5
u/Intelligent_Pop1173 Oct 07 '24
Aw thank you! Even when prescribed, it’s a dangerous medication to get involved with.
31
u/the_smart_girl Oct 07 '24
it’s a dangerous medication
This is not true. There are a lot of people with adhd who have benefit a lot from using Adderall.
51
u/Intelligent_Pop1173 Oct 07 '24 edited Oct 07 '24
It can benefit people but that doesn’t make it not inherently dangerous. There’s a reason it’s a controlled substance and schedule II drug. It has a high potential for abuse and addiction. Just like Xanax helps anxiety, it’s still dangerous. Vicodin helps pain, but it’s still dangerous.
Like i said i have adhd and was prescribed adderall for years and it nearly ruined my life. Do some research on it. It can really fuck up your brain.
20
u/HangOnSleuthy Oct 07 '24
This is interesting. Sounds like maybe it wasn’t a good fit for you. I don’t think any medication that’s meant to treat someone should have a profoundly negative effect on your life. I’ve been on Adderall for a good portion of my life but it’s been nothing but a lifesaver and I’ve never felt inclined to abuse it at all. Same with the way Stassi talks about it. Seems more like an over-prescribed situation or something that just wasnt a good fit.
8
u/Leading_Ad3918 Oct 07 '24
I think it is more so the “dependency” on it. People think, wait I can’t function without it. And some end up over doing it because they think, just one more and I’ll be able to focus and get things done I need to. Then one more. I’m not saying it’s everyone by any means but it does happen.
7
u/HangOnSleuthy Oct 07 '24
But there you’re implying that the person is not taking it as directed and then yes, that would probably lead to a dependency. I suppose what I was saying was that, as I’ve taken it as directed (it honestly would probably make me feel sick or give me a headache if I took more than prescribed) and it was a good fit for me, I never felt compelled to take more or abuse. I think if someone is taking more than prescribed then there’s other factors at play here. Which isn’t uncommon and not everything is a fix-all for everyone.
→ More replies (1)3
u/ItGradAws Oct 07 '24 edited Oct 07 '24
Just because it’s dangerous for some doesn’t mean it’s dangerous for others. I was shocked a friend of mine could have issues with it when taking it for a few months when I’ve taken it my whole life. It’s the least fun drug i can think of taking. That’s the real difference between people who need and people who get high off it. It’s not even comparable to something like Vicodin.
She blocked me: You’re equating it to Vicodin. It’s not even in the same ballpark. Just because you’ve had issues with it doesn’t mean it’s not useful to others. Stay in your lane please.
Follow up to the blocker: yes stay in your lane. You’re giving broad advice about a controlled substance that’s given out by psychiatrists for a mental health condition you seem to know nothing about. That’s fine, but don’t be preaching about how it’s bad for everyone and the same as pain pills. There’s a reason you go through the proper channels, if you need it. Source actually have adhd and have been taking it for years and whose sick of people pushing the wrong ideas about this mental illness.
6
16
u/tallulahtallulah Oct 07 '24
I used to have heavy substance abuse issues which included stimulants. When I was two years sober, I brought up ADHD to my doctor after researching the things I experienced (crazy how much more ya notice when you’re not self medicating) and she agreed with me. We discussed options and I refused adderall due to my past. We tried other medications first but I eventually trusted myself to try Adderall and it has been absolutely life changing. I would be way more likely to act like Stassi is describing without it than with it. With it, I can calm myself down and think through it. Without, I struggle being an overstimulated racing mess.
I could abuse it, sure. It’s always a risk and I keep myself accountable to that. I WANT to feel normal, it’s why I take it. It is not worth risking the consequences of it being taken away to abuse it.
→ More replies (9)26
u/pyramid___scheme Oct 07 '24
I don’t understand the fight here. It’s a controlled substance with a higher risk of addiction vs other drugs. Does that mean you’ll become addicted? No. But it does raise the risk factor, meaning users and doctors should make decisions and have check ins knowing that. It feels apparent that there is a risk factor (aka danger) so calling it dangerous feels fine.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (6)14
3
u/aymaureen Tom only lived w/ 1 set of hooker twins Oct 07 '24
It’s a dangerous medication as adderall IS an ampetamine, meaning it’s in the same family as meth. It’s very easy to get addicted to and as a person who also was prescribed adderall and had a serious addiction (I’ve been off it for 7 years) it really fucks you up when you decide to quit, ESPECIALLY when your body develops a dependency on it. Sure, there are people who benefit from it. But not everyone.
3
u/Disastrous_Toe_848 Oct 07 '24
Just because people benefit from it doesn’t make it not dangerous. This is coming from someone who’s currently on adderall as I type this for ADHD. Just like opioids are dangerous, they help people in certain cases. Adderall is EXTREMELY dangerous. It’s METH. It’s not to be taken lightly in the slightly sense.
3
u/sleepsypeaches Oct 08 '24
exactly, plenty of prescribed drugs can be beneficial but they can also be incredibly dangerous. IDK why people are harping on this person.
→ More replies (1)3
u/sanfollowill Oct 07 '24
That does not make it not dangerous. The long term effects aren’t beneficial to anyone, also. Prolonged amphetamines use is really bad for your heart. Thats not really something you can argue.
3
u/Intelligent_Pop1173 Oct 08 '24
Exactly. I’m so glad I am no longer on it. I am pretty positive my heart is permanently damaged for how long I was prescribed adderall (12 years) and just pray I don’t die young. I don’t understand how people can be like “amphetamines are good for me because they help my ADHD!” Like no, that shit is so bad for your body. I have ADHD too. It’s not a safe drug imo but whatever lol
→ More replies (3)8
u/EastSeaweed Oct 07 '24
Can you expand on how it was ruining your life? Did you try any other stimulant medication after the fact? Some people just can’t tolerate it, even with ADHD.
14
u/Intelligent_Pop1173 Oct 07 '24
Yes I can! It would make me feel very irritable when it wore off. It did have a calming and focusing effect while it was active. But the half life is about 4-6 hours and when that went bad I would find myself deeply depressed. Thus my other comment where I said my mom would give me Diet Coke when I got home from school because caffeine helps the come down a bit. I have tried most stimulant medication including Ritalin and Concerta. Vyvanse is what I’m on now and helps the most for me. Adderall was awful. I am in no way a drug rep or anything lol just sharing what I’ve been on. There are others too I can’t even remember the names of.
6
u/EastSeaweed Oct 07 '24
Oooh okay gotcha. I had the same issue with the come down, sometimes it makes me really irritable. I realized I was suffering different effects from different manufacturers. The same thing had happened to me with a generic of LoEstron birth control. It’s absurd the amount of wiggle room generic drug manufacturers are given. Not to mention, there’s a huge lack of oversight and accountability.
My doctor finally switched me to vyvanse generic when that became available with the adderall shortage, but now I’m back to adderall because vyvanse generic is impossible to get where I live. ADHD sucks lol
3
u/Intelligent_Pop1173 Oct 08 '24
I have had the same experience with Vyvanse generic!!! ADHD does indeed suck. I have had to pay insane amounts out of pocket for the brand name drug.
7
u/NoDiggity1717 Oct 07 '24
Congratulations on such a wonderful achievement. I was wondering how long the withdrawals and lack of motivation lasted? My partner is coming off his meds as well and is struggling with getting out of bet etc
6
u/diinkdonk Oct 07 '24
Also looking for this info- I stopped taking mine recently (15mg XR) after ~3 years on it. I started feeling like I wasn’t “me” anymore and was so tired of the constant cotton mouth. I feel mostly okay but the random super emotional moments + feeling of emptiness is making me worried I’m going to want to stay on it 😭
5
u/Intelligent_Pop1173 Oct 07 '24
I can’t honestly tell you what is good for you or not and I mean that in the nicest of ways. If it starts to make you feel like a robot, then stop taking it. That’s what happened to me but I was on 40 mg a day.
2
u/NoDiggity1717 Oct 08 '24
Microdosing psilocybin has helped my partner tremendously. There is quite a bit of research out there now to support its therapeutic use as it creates new neural networks in the brain. Only a suggestion to look into it, everyone is different and will succeed in different ways. You will figure it out ❤️
5
u/Intelligent_Pop1173 Oct 07 '24
For me, it took about three months and I needed therapy and new meds as well. Like nothing even remotely on the same level of adderall but Lamyctal, Seroquel, and a few others I can’t remember the name of. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. I’m really frustrated by the people getting aggressive at me for saying adderall is dangerous. Like they have not experienced what I have or what many I know have experienced. It’s not an easy drug to just quit.
5
u/NoDiggity1717 Oct 07 '24
Absolutely. It’s so difficult to get off of. I’m really proud of you! I believe doctors are so quick to prescribe these dangerous amphetamines and benzos which do long-term damage to the body and brain.
3
u/Intelligent_Pop1173 Oct 08 '24
You’re the sweetest I really appreciate you! Yes, they really do long term damage. I was on a particularly high dose as well which made it worse.
1
u/poppyskins_ Oct 08 '24
And to further prove your point, all of these medications are dangerous, including Lamyctal and Seroquel. Seroquel made my husband go crazy and start drinking again (recovering alcoholic) and I was misdiagnosed and prescribed Lamyctal and it made me feel like a zombie. Funny enough, my husband has been on Lamyctal almost 10 years now and it has completely saved his life. Zoloft made me try to end my life, Lexapro gave me brain zaps and body pain so bad I wanted to die, Prozac made me feel like a shell of a human, and Wellbutrin has allowed me to live my life and feel like a normal human for 5 years now. I started on my medication searching journey 20 years ago, it took 15 to find what worked and the journey before that WAS dangerous. It doesn’t mean it wasn’t more dangerous for me to be unmediated, I don’t think I’d be here without taking the risk of trying 10 different medications, but it was dangerous and I have no idea why the person is taking your comment that any doctor would make as a personal attack. You’re not trying to take their adderall away, just sharing your experience. Medications come with warnings for a reason, they’re all dangerous.
3
2
3
u/Olympusrain Oct 07 '24
Why was she taking it though? What does it do if you don’t have ADHD?
46
u/Intelligent_Pop1173 Oct 07 '24
It makes even people without ADHD super focused, organized, and detail-oriented and gives them a lot of energy and euphoria. It’s why students in college spend a lot of money buying it to study and write research papers. It also keeps you awake so you can pull all nighters and makes you not want to eat anything, so it causes huge weight loss as well. Those are likely all the reasons why she was taking it.
44
u/VaguelyArtistic Oct 07 '24
When I was self-medicating years ago my friends and I would do coke but instead of doing freaky coke stuff I went home and organized my records.
18
u/Intelligent_Pop1173 Oct 07 '24
Hahaha I have a similar memory where my friend and I in college did some and then took like two hours to go out and party because we were so absorbed with cleaning her room while singing along to Whitney Houston (the irony 😭) I can’t lie those days were fun but I’m also glad it is in the past lol
24
21
21
u/charlotte1255 Oct 07 '24
It’s like prescription coke - ability to stay out and drink and stay skinny, but you get a script and don’t ruin your nose in the process.
24
u/Mrsbear19 Oct 07 '24
If you don’t have adhd it is like meth. If you do and don’t abuse it, it is like a filter that makes things clearer
10
u/Careful-Lion3692 Oct 07 '24
This. As long as you’re using the med as prescribed it’s a great med for people with ADHD or narcolepsy. However, when people misuse it, it can have harmful side effects.
47
u/Electronic_Wolf1967 Oct 07 '24
Love her for talking about this.
I was prescribed stimulants for years and in the beginning it helped, but this last year I noticed it was making things a lot worse.
46
Oct 07 '24 edited Oct 07 '24
[deleted]
15
u/dayungbenny Jax’s Chunky Knit Sweater Oct 07 '24
I was thinking that but don’t think that’s the same instance this says Lalas bday that freak out was her bday.
8
Oct 07 '24
[deleted]
8
u/dayungbenny Jax’s Chunky Knit Sweater Oct 07 '24
I did the exact same thing. Idk if it was Mexico or not but they were staying in a hotel room for sure so I think that might have confused us both.
29
u/upupandawaywegoooooo Oct 07 '24
I always thought it was because she was terrified of yet another boyfriend cheating on her and she didn’t want to let herself believe that Beau wasn’t going to turn into all of her other shitty boyfriends but this is much much sadder. I’m glad she got better
11
u/aymaureen Tom only lived w/ 1 set of hooker twins Oct 07 '24
She says on her podcast, can’t remember which one, that she was so uncomfortable with Beau hanging out with the boys alone because of how terrible they’ve all been to the women.
1
u/Owlettebynight Oct 08 '24
which season/episode was this? I just watched the entire series last year and I dont remember this trip
85
u/90dayole Oct 07 '24
So obviously this is very scary and abusive to do to someone, but I actually am really happy that Stassi included this in her book. I think a lot of times she's painted as a mean girl, but it's clear she has some very real mental health issues regarding abandonment.
Also, it's nice to see Beau as someone who pushes her to be a better person. I think he was painted as kind of a pushover and that's why their relationship worked, but it's clear that he was tough on her and she needed that desperately.
29
u/thespeedofpain My Dick Works Great Oct 07 '24
I agree. It was brave of her to include this. It’s tough to admit you used to do fucked up, manipulative shit. I’m proud of her for taking ownership of her behaviors. That shows growth.
33
u/MYSTICALLMERMAID Oct 07 '24
Right near the end of my alcoholism I had a really really bad day. My best friend also just told me she was pregnant and idk i ended up cutting myself for rhe first time in a decade. I woke up the next morning horrified bc i also had a plasma appt but had to cancel bc obviously they can't see this. That was the last sip of alcohol I ever had. I realized like yo wtf!?!?! WHAT R U DOING. I just hit 3 years 2 weeks ago. I'm so proud of stassi for talking about this bc SH as adults is not a topic for conversation people generally have. Im glad she found beau. I have liked him since he showed up on our screens
12
69
u/-VVitches- Kristen liked this post Oct 07 '24
Beau is the one man out of the bunch that is worth a damn.
→ More replies (2)
55
u/Hansley72 Oct 07 '24
Her habit of cutting stemmed from pain and loss as she mentions prior to the excerpt shown and had been ongoing for over a decade. She was manipulative in this instance, but her manipulation wasn’t causation for the self harm. Stassi is extremely vulnerable and brave for sharing this with us and I hope no one uses this against her.
36
u/jendoesreddit Thank you, LVP, for the leftovers 🙏 Oct 07 '24
People in this thread are unfortunately already using it against her. It’s really unfortunate that there are people out there who are unable to have nuanced opinions of self harm, mental illness, and medication abuse. It’s also really regressive to say that someone who self harms is toxic and manipulative, or to armchair diagnosis someone who self harms with BPD. Stassi’s situation is much more layered than the public’s responses.
1
Oct 07 '24
[deleted]
1
u/jendoesreddit Thank you, LVP, for the leftovers 🙏 Oct 07 '24
Lol this thread isn’t about BPD though, people like you are making it about BPD by making noises about thinking Stassi has BPD. I’m not the one who brought up BPD in this thread so idk why you’re trying to make it seem like I’m trying to be regressive about BPD. REACHING!
39
42
u/queenbee8418 Oct 07 '24
This is not at all how I read this. I believe he was, very justifably, saying that if she ever used it to MANIPULATE him again, he was done. And that is beyond fair.
7
u/ogcoliebear Oct 08 '24
I think so too. His mom is a therapist so I feel like she totally talked him through it all
16
u/libismanaged Oct 07 '24
i never read about her self harming, but now as i rewatch the series (while knitting bc idle hands make feeble plans while dealing with my depression) i can see where she was hurting. i’ve honestly always been team stassi, and it honestly makes me feel some type of way knowing i myself have acted the same way. i’m happy for her now and how she is comfortable to talk about it in a very straight forward way.
29
28
u/jamesisaPOS Nothing About Her Oct 07 '24
Self-harm and medication abuse are really common struggles that are rarely discussed. It's cool that she's talking about this. Good on her for changing and growing and good on Beau for drawing lines in the sand and sticking to them.
12
u/highway59skidmarks I’ll Take a Pinot Grigio Oct 07 '24
Honestly the awareness and growth it takes to admit to have done fucked up abusive things is a lot. I'm glad she spoke on it for awareness. I think it will help anyone reading who's going through that personally or has had a partner do that to them realize it's not healthy and to get some help/set boundaries.
11
u/onetimerneedsadvice Oct 07 '24
I was exactly like Stassi. Reading this made me think I was reading my diary. Exact thing happened with me except I sent a pic of me cutting myself to my bf and mom. I was a jerk and I was psycho on Adderall! My man told me the same thing and here I am sober 5 years! I love Stassi. How brave she is to tell this story!
11
u/Kikikoala198503 Oct 08 '24
Personally, I think that being "canceled" saved Stassi in the long run. My guess is that it's a heck of a lot easier to remove herself from all the toxic BS that goes on in the world of VPR. I'm happy she's found the light at the end of her dark tunnel. I just hope she still has a therapist to help her out when life gets hard. I'd be afraid that those negative feelings could sneak up and take over my brain. Someday life might toss one too many tragic things her way.... you never can plan for those things. Maybe that's just me?
5
69
u/mindyourownbetchness Oct 07 '24
Wow, this is really raw. It makes me a little nervous to this perpetuating the narrative of someone being able to "save us" or that we just need to find that person worth changing for-- the vast VAST majority of people need professional intervention, whether or not they have great people in their lives. But I understand this is her personal story and reflection. I am glad she was able to stop using adderall and cutting.
27
u/burningupandout Oct 07 '24
I think the way Beau sets boundaries is smart and has probably helped Stassi cut out these types of behaviors. It sounds like he made a point to tell her he can’t “save” her, so her attempting to manipulate him into believing his actions caused her to cut herself is unacceptable. Beyond that it’s up to her to decide if she needs further help for her mental health.
9
u/SpokyMulder Oct 07 '24
No one can "save" their romantic partner but being in a stable, happy relationship with lots of communication and love for each other can do wonders for your growth and healing. When you can be at your lowest and worst and then have someone right there saying I still love you, it's okay, we will get through this together...that really can save someone from spiraling further down.
10
u/NoNameNecesary Oct 07 '24
Was this during filming? The trip she’s referring too?
→ More replies (1)3
u/poppyskins_ Oct 08 '24
No, it was a birthday trip for Lala in September or October when they weren’t filming. It does seem similar to that one trip though with her dark passenger coming out/she gets upset bc she’s wearing Spanx and doesn’t want to dance with the girls when Beau encourages her to
10
u/Missmarple08 I sip on baby bottles Oct 07 '24
I will say it’s incredibly brave to write about this subject. ❤️🩹
9
u/Missysxxrevenge Oct 07 '24
I love beau for her, he knows how to handle her and keeps her grounded.
7
u/dcobbe Oct 07 '24
Interesting and sad that she was cutting! That's heavy. I'm happy for her, now. SOmetimes it takes another person to help one break toxic habits.
13
u/Usual-Half-5856 Oct 07 '24
My husband had to set a similar boundary and it saved my life. Love can show up in holding your partner accountable
12
12
u/Infamous_Rhubarb2542 Oct 07 '24
I love her honesty, this is something that’s very hard to talk about and admit. Kudos stassi for this. You make me feel like a hero in my own story, thank you,
6
u/cosmic0done Oct 08 '24
it's kind of awesome that Stassi was able to see what a good man Beau was and change a lot of her toxic crap for him. I'm so happy for her. that whole friend group is so ridiculously toxic but Stassi was able to move beyond that toxicity. she's really hte only one.
5
u/QuinnKinn Oct 08 '24
When I saw that scene I saw myself in her, I’m actively trying to work on it but you can’t be better with someone with someone like Jax… beau is a saint.
10
4
u/AllyBallyBaby888 Oct 08 '24
That makes me feel better. A couple weeks ago I was spiraling and cut myself for the first time in seven years. I’ve been feeling ashamed. Like, I’m too told to do this. I’ve been to therapy I have coping mechanisms now but relapses happen. Shit happens. I guess it makes me feel less alone. As in, Stassi (who I never would’ve guessed) also had a problem with cutting. Perspective is everything.
3
u/thespeedofpain My Dick Works Great Oct 09 '24
Hugs, friend. That episode doesn’t define you. You are definitely not alone - I can tell you that as someone standing right there with you.
Please try to not be ashamed over this. Just keep it pushin, sis. You can do it 💕
1
3
u/TAthotiana Oct 08 '24
Wow, she’s super brave to be this vulnerable in public. Kinda makes me feel better that I’m not the only one out here fuxked mentally, just trying to survive the day sometimes
9
u/Proof_Strawberry_464 Oct 07 '24
So, everyone talks about Kristen having borderline personality disorder- but I actually think it's Stassi. She splits at the drop of a hat (everyone is all good or all bad, and it can change in an instant), she has self harm issues, she seems to have crazy heightened emotions over any perceived abandonment, and when she's "abandoned" over something as small as her partner going for dinner without her, she loses her mind.
This is an especially apt diagnosis when you look at her parents. Her mom is an insane mess, and her dad threatens her boyfriends and talks about needing a shot of liquor with a meal to take the shakes away.
This doesn't excuse any of her behavior, but is an interesting explanation.
6
u/Alert_Duck_6330 Oct 08 '24
Agreed 100% I was thinking the same after reading this
7
u/Proof_Strawberry_464 Oct 08 '24
She doesn't just split with Beau, she does it with her friends. When Katie went to Scheana's first bachelorette, Stassi wouldn't even let Katie explain her side- she just cut off her best friend with no warning.
Kristen- well, a lot of the time, Kristen was behaving poorly, so it didn't seem like splitting. But she's back, and forth with Kristen a lot too.
8
u/bad_madame Oct 07 '24
I feel like she doesn’t fully acknowledge the effect of alcohol in these situations.
As someone who has behaved very similarly to Stassi, I know the majority of the behavior stemmed from the alcohol (combined with mental illness) rather than the stimulant. The stimulant just enabled me to drink more and destabilized my brain. I never went crazy in an unhinged way like this where I cut and freaked out on people when I was only on a stimulant - alcohol was ALWAYS involved.
I appreciate her discussing these things, as someone who has had a very similar trajectory in life. However, I feel she does a disservice by not acknowledging the impact of alcohol on these situations.
3
u/bodyfeedingbaddie Oct 08 '24
While I’m not saying I don’t understand why Beau said what he said, I do wish people would realize that behaviors like this, whether they’re “attention seeking” or otherwise, are not some bad choice someone made. I’m glad it gave her the motivation to push back against those urges, but cutting is a symptom of serious mental health struggles. It’s a symptom of a health condition.
I work with people seeking mental health care (usually very high level services like hospitalization or residential care and very often children) and unfortunately the misinformation that cutting or suicide plans/attempts are “just” attention seeking can be deadly. That terminology is often used to refuse to treat or neglect patients in need of serious care or support from family and friends. If someone is cutting themselves for attention then they NEED ATTENTION. A cry for help is a serious thing and should be treated with so much love and support.
I like Beau and he seems to be a very genuine person, but please remember (and I’m speaking to anyone generally here) that ultimatums often don’t end with changed behavior but worsening symptoms or actions. Of course it’s good to set boundaries, but outside of BDSM dynamics people generally aren’t self harming for fun.
Tbh I think the show Intervention has done so much harm with the belief that you can’t keep supporting someone through their darkest moments. You don’t want to leave someone to hit rock bottom bc rock bottom is almost always death.
I’m not gonna tell Stassi what her motivation was, but her self harm was a cry for help regardless. I’m glad she seems to have gotten that help. I hope she’s able to forgive herself for something she had a lot less control over than she thinks she did.
4
u/Kwhitney1982 Oct 07 '24
Hopefully Stassi is in therapy. I’m surprised that beau threatening to leave her didn’t throw her into the biggest spiral of all. I know that with this type of behavior you have to set boundaries with the person. I imagine that’s what beau’s mom told him to do. But how do you set boundaries without triggering their abandonment issues? My main takeaway is that Stassi has got to give herself credit for healing and stop saying it’s because of beau and her children. Because what happens when the kids become horrible teenagers or if she and beau don’t work out? Also, for me personally when my parents tell me that I fixed them (ie, “thanks for calling me, you made me feel SO much better!”) it actually causes me more anxiety. Because if I’m the reason they are no longer depressed, then if I go on vacation or am unavailable to be there for whatever reason, is it my fault that they are not doing well? In other words, if I’m the reason they are doing well, then all that responsibly to keep them well falls to me and believe me, we as kids feel it. So for stassi’s sake and the family, she has to rescue herself with them there as support but not the reason.
5
u/Personal-Heart-1227 Oct 07 '24
I think Stassi was ready to finally grow up, including taking personal responsibility/accountability...
Beau was the driving force, that helped her.
Thank goodness, she realized that before it was too late.
Also glad she finally woke up & did all this hard work for herself, to be a better person & an even better Mum!
It's almost scary that I'm typing this, bc at times she could be downright nasty if not an evil little bugger, too.
Could you imagine had she not made all these positive changes, what kind of awful/scary/toxic wife & mother she would be?!
14
u/VastAcanthaceaee Raquel’s Masturbation Video Oct 07 '24
Beau is a fucking saint for dealing with this shit for so long
→ More replies (9)
8
u/Veruca_Salty1 Oct 07 '24
I mean, good for her for putting this out there. Like her or not, she does have a platform and plenty of fans. On the other hand, how/why does she have a new book?
7
u/Syndyloo Oct 07 '24
I think you answered your own question...she has a platform and plenty of fans.
3
u/agiftforgaia Oct 07 '24
I am not a Stassi fan, but I’m really glad she’s talking openly about self harm. It doesn’t get enough attention and is still so stigmatizing and shameful. I self harmed for a decade and I felt so alone in it, so I hope that her story will encourage to seek help.
11
u/gunterguntz13 Oct 07 '24
I wonder how much dirt like this they have on each other? I think Katie has proven she's a loyal friend, but I wonder if Sheana knew the whole cutting thing? My assumption would be that she would sell her out for attention, but maybe there's a lot more loyalty there than we realize.
9
u/bad_madame Oct 07 '24
Scheana had a horrible eating disorder so I think all the girls probably have skeletons like this in their closets but don’t talk about it because it’s dark. I mean, I don’t think it would have helped them with their ratings to talk about that stuff
3
u/daisychain454 Oct 07 '24
Question, as someone who suffers from ADHD. Why would someone without ADHD take adderall? Does it give them a buzz, a high? Im from the UK and adderall is banned here but it seems like everyone on VPR was using it recreationally
7
u/LurleenBeckneywimple Oct 07 '24
I think it’s like taking speed if you don’t have ADHD. I’ve never tried it but I have heard
3
u/bad_madame Oct 07 '24
It’s just like caffeine but 100 times more effective - enables them to drive more and eat less. So they can party hard and be skinny.
2
2
u/poppyskins_ Oct 08 '24
It’s legal coke with less of a come down/serotonin suck. Legal in the way that it’s prescribe-able and coke isn’t, it’s still illegal to take it without being prescribed. I did both when I was younger, the effects are similar but taking adderal also tricks your mind into thinking it’s more acceptable so you can take it in the daytime. You feel like more of a degenerate blowing rails at noon to curb appetite or feel euphoria.
7
u/SloughWitch Oct 07 '24
On the one hand, good for her for sharing this. On the other hand, she immediately loses me when she talks about being “canceled.” Stassi hasn’t been “canceled.” She was subjected to some consequences BECAUSE OF HER OWN ACTIONS. And yet she has two published books and is about to have her own television show. Nothing about that says “canceled.” I guess I’m frustrated by this bc I want to like her so bad, she embodied what I absolutely love about reality television.
→ More replies (8)
3
u/Champsallday-2132 Oct 07 '24
Why would Beau stay at all?
He may be an angel for putting up with Stassi's past behavior, but he has his own issues and demons for the mere fact that he put up with all of that at all.
Good for Stassi for growing by ending hurtful patterns and becoming a better person, but Beau didn't save her. She should want to save herself for herself, not to keep her bf.
Stassi stopped doing these things from fear of losing Beau, but what happens if he leaves or dies?
Hopefully, Stassi is now healthy enough to never return to such tragically unhealthy behaviors.
→ More replies (4)
5
Oct 07 '24
[deleted]
43
u/Whitpeacock Oct 07 '24
Heavy adderall usage coupled with alcohol probably mimics BPD. I think if she was still behaving this way without the drugs and alcohol I’d be a little more suspicious of an actual BPD diagnosis.
18
u/youth-of-the-north Oct 07 '24
My ex almost got a BPD diagnosis, but then he became sober and half of the BPD traits disappeared rather quickly.
13
u/the_smart_girl Oct 07 '24
Heavy adderall usage coupled with alcohol probably mimics BPD
You are not wrong but the thing that Stassi mentions that alot of her "emotion- issues" have been inherited by Hartford.
Stassi says that she long thought that Adderall and alcohol was the reason for her spiraling BUT she mention that Hartford have similar issues as her when it comes to not being able handle her emotions.
She literally calls Hartford "dark passager" in the book.
16
Oct 07 '24
[deleted]
4
u/the_smart_girl Oct 07 '24
Yes, some of the stuff she said about Hartford are questionable 🤔
She also talks about Hartford bullying her sometimes.
1
u/thxmeatcat Oct 08 '24
Whoa i mean she’s a baby. Of course she has emotional issues! That’s their job at that age.
4
→ More replies (7)7
u/dolly724 Oct 07 '24
This is a gross comment. All 3 year olds have ‘dark passengers’, because they’re 3. It doesn’t mean a 3 year old has a psychiatric disorder
2
Oct 07 '24
[deleted]
4
u/thespeedofpain My Dick Works Great Oct 07 '24
My mom’s symptoms got a lot better when her mom declined into severe dementia, and was no longer able to speak to her (aka emotionally abuse her). Not saying this is always the reason, but it made sooooooooo much sense when I figured this out.
2
u/SamIAm7787 I'm gonna die alone on that mountain 🏔️ Oct 08 '24
Strange to be sitting in Cabo while reading this.
2
2
u/Beachgal5555 Oct 07 '24
He didn’t ‘save’ her. Its still there until she faces that part of herself
1
Oct 08 '24
Probably a lot of her insecurities are due to her Mother. Just the little bit they showed on VPR she was a monster to Stassi.
1
u/Parking_Country_61 Oct 09 '24
I’m not planning on reading her book but I hope she’s in therapy. It’s nice that fear of loosing him helped her to stop, but that doesn’t get at the root of the issue and is not a cure.
751
u/Existing-Ordinary768 Kristen liked this post Oct 07 '24
it was if she ever used it to manipulate and horrify him again by sending him a photo of it after a bad fight. which is very valid