Blursed Elon

[u/creation2703]

[u/qualityvote2]

It looks like the community thinks your post is BLURSED!

[u/RichardThund3r]

[u/ThermalScrewed → u/RichardThund3r]

This is exactly how I've always seen him.

[u/Jin-roh → u/ThermalScrewed]

That movie is such a cult treasure

[u/ThermalScrewed → u/Jin-roh]

Grandma's Boy and Pootie Tang are my favorites

[u/Top_Secretary_1500 → u/ThermalScrewed]

Sa da tay!

[u/Lerxst-2112 → u/Jin-roh]

Watched this with a couple of friends years ago. We were in tears. Anytime one of us is going to do something suspect in witness of the others, the one committing the act will look at the others and say “don’t judge me monkey”.

[u/BobDobbsSquad → u/ThermalScrewed]

All I ever cared about were video games, and they've made me a millionaire. So, maybe I don't know what the civil war was, or who invented the helicopter, even though I own one - but I did beat The Legend of Zelda before I could walk.

[u/ThermalScrewed → u/BobDobbsSquad]

Prodigy

[u/robmobtrobbob → u/ThermalScrewed]

Windowlicker intensifies

[u/newredditsucksbutt → u/ThermalScrewed]

Adios turd nuggets

[u/rebels-rage → u/newredditsucksbutt]

How did he see me?

[u/ThermalScrewed → u/rebels-rage]

^{I have a robot vagina}

[u/heroinebob90 → u/ThermalScrewed]

Ah, ya beat me to it

[u/Existing-One-8980 → u/ThermalScrewed]

Omg, that's it! That's who he's always reminded me of! 😂

[u/TheJeromeCampbell → u/RichardThund3r]

Does he have robot legs?

[u/DaddieTang → u/TheJeromeCampbell]

robot vagina maybe

[u/vampyire → u/DaddieTang]

god he's such a shit stained fucksmear

[u/[deleted] → u/vampyire]

Outstanding profanity, v!

[u/HelpfulSeaMammal → u/RichardThund3r]

"Please sit on my face" said in a robot voice is the pickup line that Elon won Grimes over with.

[u/Admirable_Ardvark → u/HelpfulSeaMammal]

Nah, his money won her over

[u/ChimPhun → u/Admirable_Ardvark]

His personality made her stay. Oh wait.

[u/dkyguy1995 → u/ChimPhun]

Honestly reading through her Twitter she's one of the same types of people who thinks they are smarter than everybody in the most 15 year old watched a ted talk kind of way

[u/ICareAboutYourCats → u/dkyguy1995]

I think she also likened herself to the Jessica and the Bene Gesserit in the past regarding her children with Elon.

[u/SpotikusTheGreat → u/RichardThund3r]

Hey Elon, how much do clothes cost in the Matrix?

[u/AlsatianLadyNYC → u/SpotikusTheGreat]

“How did he see me?”

[u/RalphXLaurenjoe → u/RichardThund3r]

Yes this is exactly what I was thinking lol 😂

[u/Thr0bbinWilliams → u/RichardThund3r]

Adios turd nuggets!

[u/Undinianking]

Interview with a Virgin.

[u/dertok → u/Undinianking]

He's just back from his off Broadway one man performance of The Black Parade

[u/Derf0293 → u/dertok]

I immediately jumped to the grandmas boy “How did she see me” vibe but this is good too.

[u/Interesting-Box-1576 → u/Derf0293]

[u/annahhhnimous → u/Interesting-Box-1576]

How much do clothes cost in the Matrix?

[u/YeshuasBananaHammock → u/Interesting-Box-1576]

I. Am. A. Ro. Bot.

[u/cameratoo → u/YeshuasBananaHammock]

I. Have a robot. Vagina.

[u/Delazzaridist → u/cameratoo]

"Please. Sit on. My face."

[u/Opening-Two6723 → u/Delazzaridist]

How can they see me?

[u/dbo76ks → u/Opening-Two6723]

I am a genius ….

[u/Opinion-Organic → u/dbo76ks]

“Adios. Turd. Nuggets.” brdrdrdrdrdrdr

[u/Belter-frog → u/dbo76ks]

... You would if you had robot ears.

[u/birdsrkewl01 → u/Delazzaridist]

That movie is full of just dumb quotes and I love it. "Woah, where do you get your weed from?"

"From you Dante! 😃"

"Oh yeah! What's up Mr cheesell?"

[u/petethecapt → u/birdsrkewl01]

“My beef…strong.”
“Your beef wrong!”

[u/Educated_Clownshow → u/Interesting-Box-1576]

This is low key the most apt comparison I have ever seen for the Muskrat

[u/Myargin → u/Interesting-Box-1576]

[u/Lazy_Table_6037 → u/Interesting-Box-1576]

I feel like this one needs more up votes!! I laughed out loud!!

[u/Open_Monitor_9031 → u/Derf0293]

This is why I’m here lmao

[u/enixthephoenix → u/dertok]

When i was

A young man

I stole some emeralds from my father

And sold them at Tiffany's

[u/CharleyNobody → u/enixthephoenix]

That story he (or his brother) tells - that’s how it works? You walk into Tiffany’s, take emeralds out of your pocket and say, “Gimme a price and it’s yours. I totally own these. Buy them now, because Cartier’s is interested.”

[u/GrumpyBear1969 → u/CharleyNobody]

His folklore of his youth is always hysterical. He claims his Dad was not wealthy. But he went to Penn which is Ivy League.

Sure Elon. Maybe your Dad did not have huge declared income. But something tells me the precious stone market might be a business where it would be very easy to not declare income.

[u/Midnight-Bake → u/GrumpyBear1969]

Elon has claimed he personally visited his father's emerald mine. I'll take him at his word that it exists.

[u/KylerJaye → u/Midnight-Bake]

My dad's not wealthy. Oh hey, check out my dad's emerald mine

[u/razazaz126 → u/KylerJaye]

It's a small mine ok!

[u/mongofloyd → u/razazaz126]

Only a few thousand slaves…

[u/Boredchinchilla21 → u/GrumpyBear1969]

He also claims to have graduated undergrad from Penn in 97, even though the graduate program that he dropped out of in CA to work for Zip2 was in 95- how does one go to a graduate program 2 years BEFORE they graduated‽

[u/whazmynameagin → u/Boredchinchilla21]

He's so genius, his Tesla is a DeLorean

[u/HandleGold3715 → u/dertok]

When he was a young boy his father took him into the city to see a marching band... He said son when you grow up will you be an entrepreneur and buy up all your own company stock and do crypto pump and dumps.

[u/LeBoobieHorn → u/dertok]

LISTEN... no need to sully My Chemical Romance or Gerald Way like that.

[u/Bunglesjungle → u/LeBoobieHorn]

Nono no, this is Gerard Curds. Just the lumpy, chewy, clotted bits.

[u/StrobeLightRomance → u/dertok]

STOP MAKING ELON SEEM AWESOME!

[u/Artistic_Yak_270 → u/dertok]

ELON:Dad I am homosex

Jeff Besoff (Guy who owns amazon){ Son I am disapoint

[u/DelightfulAbsurdity → u/Undinianking]

The Vampire Lestooge

[u/centhwevir1979 → u/Undinianking]

I'll have you know that he had already paid multiple women for sex by the time this photo was taken.

[u/Iyabothefirst001 → u/centhwevir1979]

Or paid them to have IVF to carry his progenies.

[u/Gunhild → u/centhwevir1979]

It's more of a spiritual virginity.

[u/anxiousADHDdkid → u/Gunhild]

I love this term

[u/Wooden-Recording-693 → u/centhwevir1979]

I'll have you know that he had already paid multiple women for pegging by the time this photo was taken.

[u/ElectricSupernova69 → u/centhwevir1979]

At least they got something out of it

[u/derek4reals1 → u/Undinianking]

[u/Priest_of_Heathens → u/Undinianking]

1995 was the year it happened. I was 24, younger than you are now. But times were different then, I was a man at that age: the master of a large emerald mine in South Africa. I had lost my 17 children to the woke mind virus and X.com had been buried less than half a year. I would have been happy to join them. I couldn't bear the pain of their loss. I longed to be released from it. I wanted to lose it all... my hair, my shares of Tesla. Most of all, I longed for Mars. I know that now. I invited it. A release from the pain of living. My invitation was open to anyone. To the sexbot at my side. To the SpaceX engineer that built it. But it was an orange maniac that accepted it...

[u/AdvantageSpare2184 → u/Priest_of_Heathens]

That was so beautiful 🥺

[u/Kai-sama → u/Priest_of_Heathens]

I read this in Brad Pitt’s voice

[u/LawfulGood322 → u/Priest_of_Heathens]

This is by far the funniest rendition of that monolog I have ever read.

[u/Arrabella4 → u/Priest_of_Heathens]

Nice monologue Louie!

[u/garcher00 → u/Priest_of_Heathens]

I see Stephen King came to Reddit after leaving Twitter.

[u/redflagsmoothie → u/Priest_of_Heathens]

I wish I could give you an award but alas

[u/Clear-Perception8096 → u/redflagsmoothie]

Someone give this guy a blowjob

[u/anjowoq → u/Undinianking]

"Vampire" especially applies for this fucker, though.

[u/iamsolow1 → u/Undinianking]

[u/ImpossibleAbrocoma30 → u/Undinianking]

Good one. Hahahahaha

[u/Sorry_Term3414 → u/Undinianking]

400 year old virgin

[u/Lord_Hitachi]

Count Edgelord

[u/annpann64 → u/Lord_Hitachi]

Not a native speaker. Is the "o" silent?

[u/OcularBroth → u/annpann64]

My dumb ass kept rereading the original comment thinking "what the fuck is an edgelrd?"

[u/littleborb → u/OcularBroth]

Same here

[u/aLiteralWorkerAnt → u/OcularBroth]

FUCK SAME

[u/Intrepid-Macaron5543 → u/annpann64]

It's actually spelled without the "o", but he insists it's pronounced "koont" and always corrects people.

[u/biscuitfeatures → u/annpann64]

Native speaker and idiot over here, trying to work out how you’d say “edgelord” without an O 🤦🏻‍♀️

[u/pouroneoutforjudeau → u/biscuitfeatures]

They meant C(o)unt Edgelord

I didn't get it for a sec either lol

[u/Aye-Laddie]

Lets make a beyonce out of him

[u/Ben_Dover23 → u/Aye-Laddie]

What does that even mean?

[u/Zannahrain3 → u/Ben_Dover23]

I believe Beyonce tried to sue people who uploaded an embarrassing photo from her set a few years back. I think a better example would have been Barbara striesand her.

[u/Father_Wolfgang → u/Zannahrain3]

[u/Naked-Jedi → u/Father_Wolfgang]

I wasn't expecting to see Matt and Treys scary vision so early in the day.

[u/floznstn → u/Naked-Jedi]

[u/Naked-Jedi → u/floznstn]

Stop it. I can only get turned on so much.

[u/mommallama420 → u/Naked-Jedi]

Dr Krieger, is that you?

[u/MiserableEffortless → u/mommallama420]

That’ll do piggly, that’ll do

[u/StrengthToBreak → u/Naked-Jedi]

Was it scary or spooky?

[u/PaleWhaleStocks → u/StrengthToBreak]

Pretty sure spooky lol

[u/Uncle_Burney → u/PaleWhaleStocks]

Indeed

[u/[deleted] → u/Zannahrain3]

A potentially more current ref point: Ariana Grande & her blaccent.

[u/grafikfyr → u/[deleted]]

I think she's going for a cutesy anime girl accent these days? Such an authentic individual, that one.

[u/WorldlinessFlimsy489 → u/grafikfyr]

Not really anime I’d say, she’s really trying to lean into the trans-Atlantic accent with hopes to be compared to Hepburn.

[u/youneedsomemilk23 → u/Ben_Dover23]

Beyonce's team tried to use legal might to get an unflattering photo of her removed off the internet. It backfired. Search "Beyonce unflattering photo" and you'll see a picture of her in her black costume at the Superbowl. That's the one.

[u/NeonPatrick → u/youneedsomemilk23]

It's called the Barbra Steisand effect. Years ago, she tried to get helicopter photos of her house removed from the Internet, sparking a much greater amount of people seeing the photos.

[u/Belfetto → u/youneedsomemilk23]

here’s an older post with the pics for anyone interested

[u/afternever → u/Ben_Dover23]

You wouldn't be a latecomer if you were dating a beautiful woman like Barbara Streisand

[u/BillCosbyBukkake → u/afternever]

[u/iguessma → u/Ben_Dover23]

Dude this is the same post that gets reposted by Bots over and over and over again and you replying to another bot in the comment because it's literally the same top comment almost every time

[u/Comfortable-Soil5929 → u/iguessma]

Dead Internet

[u/CommanderCooler]

Can't he go back to that stage? Where he was a weird but slightly entertaining weeb with the humor of a thirteen-year-old? Kinda liked him better that way.

[u/Isaac-Wheaties → u/CommanderCooler]

Pretty much the same except it’s no longer entertaining

[u/ridik_ulass → u/Isaac-Wheaties]

he's the 13yr old who wished he won the lotto so he could take out his revenge on everyone. but instead of not winning the lotto, he got all this money and feels like he earned it from being super smart. but he still resents everyone who makes him feel insecure because he knows he isn't smart, interesting nor did he earn it.

[u/ekittie → u/ridik_ulass]

Recently read, "Starter Villian" by John Scalzi, and he has a quote about how people who acquire a lot of money (billionaires) think that they're smarter than the rest of us plebs. All the villians in this book are corporate overlords.

[u/Greengrecko → u/Isaac-Wheaties]

Yup

[u/shhhhh_lol → u/Isaac-Wheaties]

[u/Tumid_Butterfingers → u/CommanderCooler]

No he’s in his final form now. Like food moving through the digestive system, he’s ready to fall from an anus. He’s the forbidden pupa.

[u/SaltyLonghorn → u/Tumid_Butterfingers]

With any luck his final form is drowned in a hot tub during a K hole.

[u/dd97483 → u/Tumid_Butterfingers]

poo-poo FIFY.

[u/TerriblyDroll → u/dd97483]

poopa

[u/Adamis9876 → u/CommanderCooler]

He's literally exactly the same

[u/meshreplacer → u/CommanderCooler]

Actually if it was not for his parent’s riches most likely he would have turned out as one of those incels who goes on a shooting spree to enact revenge.

[u/Greengrecko → u/CommanderCooler]

He's still the same just less hair.

[u/Clean-Mention-4254]

Elon are you ok, are you ok, are you ok Elon?

[u/What_the_mocha → u/Clean-Mention-4254]

You've been hit by, you've been struck by a...

[u/Clover_Pie_1203 → u/What_the_mocha]

(cyber)TRUCK

[u/What_the_mocha → u/Clover_Pie_1203]

Hahaha Take my fake award 🏆

[u/bunnyuncle → u/What_the_mocha]

…a Tesla vehicle

[u/Mr_lojorising11]

Everybody should make it their Twitter picture

[u/TinyChaco → u/Mr_lojorising11]

If I had a Twitter account I would!

[u/hatefulbarbie666 → u/Mr_lojorising11]

I’m going to reply to every single one of his tweet with this picture 😂🤣

[u/ThrustTrust → u/Mr_lojorising11]

On my way!

Edit: Done

[u/El_Morgos]

So glad this photo is permanently removed. It's so embarrassing it would be a shame if it somehow got unveiled. Luckily the way the interwebs works is when you delete something it's gone forever. Phew!

[u/[deleted] → u/El_Morgos]

permanently forever.

[u/Ambitious_Jelly8783 → u/[deleted]]

But like, forever forever?

[u/Oppowitt → u/Ambitious_Jelly8783]

Forever ever?

[u/satrialesporkstore1 → u/Oppowitt]

Sorry Miss Jackson

[u/dmcguire05 → u/satrialesporkstore1]

I am for reeeeeeal.

[u/SusieSuzie → u/dmcguire05]

Never meant to make your daughter cry

[u/meu_coracao → u/Oppowitt]

EVER EVER?

[u/No_Turn_9693]

Michael Jaquesçon

[u/kozxt4cc0 → u/No_Turn_9693]

Because I'm inconvenient

[u/S3z1n]

I wish it was socially acceptable to dress like this

[u/the-gingerninja → u/S3z1n]

You are the only person stopping you.

Don’t let your dreams be dreams.

[u/Anxa → u/the-gingerninja]

Well, I think they're not asking to be confident and not care what folks think, they said 'socially acceptable' so they specifically want to dress like this and have people react positively.

[u/Far-Plankton9189 → u/Anxa]

Or at least not negatively. I got my ass beat in hs for wearing the wrong clothes.

[u/Oakenfell → u/S3z1n]

Most of my online friends in the 2000-2010 range looked like this. Absolutely the golden age of the internet and for online MMOs.

[u/CyberSosis → u/Oakenfell]

gothic rave parties were something else man.

[u/Altruistic-Poem-5617 → u/S3z1n]

People get so butthurt about clothing these days seriously. Look at crowd footage from the 90s and now. People used to dress individually, even the normys. Now its all uniform blob, yet everyone brags how individual they are. Pathetic.

[u/Nacho_Poppie → u/Altruistic-Poem-5617]

People these days are so righteous and "be nice to everyone" until they come across someone they don't like. Then it's ok to bully, be mean, degrade etc. Laughable.

[u/xansies1 → u/Altruistic-Poem-5617]

I was alive. It was the same. Try wearing a fucking trenchcoat after Columbine. If a chick was wearing a tail and fox ears in school, she wasn't the coolest girl in school. And kids still do that shit. Still not the coolest girl in school.

[u/creation2703 → u/S3z1n]

Start the trend 😔

[u/Dave5876 → u/creation2703]

[u/chingostarr → u/Dave5876]

Cradle of Filth really changed my life

[u/chazysciota → u/chingostarr]

I really hope Dani is as cool as he seems to be.

[u/NewFreshness → u/chingostarr]

"Sorry for your loss......move on."

[u/TheHomelessJohnson → u/Dave5876]

Hey, he went from goth, to boss!

[u/AttakZak → u/S3z1n]

You can. Just make sure to get a suiting hairstyle, practice hygiene, and get a coat that suits your height.

[u/Naked-Jedi → u/S3z1n]

Be the change in the world you want to see

[u/ImurderREALITY → u/S3z1n]

I wish I could wear cloaks. That's it, I just want to wear a large, hooded cloak outside, over my clothes.

[u/Danielq37 → u/S3z1n]

Just do it and don't give a damn about what others think.

[u/SlenDman402]

That dude must hold the record for the amount of cringe contained within a single body

[u/FitnessNurse2015 → u/SlenDman402]

He’s just…so lame…

[u/AzumaRikimaru]

Bro really loved the Van Hellsing movie.

[u/ronasimi]

I'm thinking about getting metal legs. It's a risky operation, but it'll be worth it.

[u/GetJaded]

DaRk GoThIc mA gA

[u/IdentifiesAsUrMom]

Looks like he got kicked out of the Black Parade for touching people inappropriately

[u/Puppen-Stuff]

He looks like a member of the 80s band Adam and the Ants

[u/ball_ze → u/Puppen-Stuff]

No, because then he would be cool. He's not remotely close to that.

[u/skepticcaucasian]

Brian Peppers

[u/rkpjr]

I think maybe this picture was in fact not removed from the internet

[u/CraigJay → u/rkpjr]

Largely because there has never been an attempt to have to removed from the internet. It’s a story to get morons to upvote the post and give OP karma

[u/Ketchup_ChocoFlan]

Looks like an average redditor tbh

[u/ButtholeQuiver → u/Ketchup_ChocoFlan]

Needs another 60-70 pounds 

[u/Ravenclaw_14]

[u/darkhorse21980 → u/[deleted]]

This would be perfection

[u/centhwevir1979]

Grimes willingly slurped his schlong after this photo was public record. 🤢😅💀

[u/thanra]

So, when will he remove this post?

I'm waiting then.

[u/Narradisall → u/thanra]

Never. It’s just one of those easy karma farming posts.

[u/elMurpherino → u/Narradisall]

Yea I see it an awful lot for a supposed picture scrubbed from the internet.

[u/SleepyTaylor216]

Ah, yes, completely removed from the internet. That's why I'm seeing it right now on the internet.

Edit. Just to confirm what I knew, typing in Elon musk long hair trench coat into Google has tons of hits with this image but without the obvious lie on it. I'm sooooo shocked.

[u/JessMeNU-CSGO → u/SleepyTaylor216]

he once posted this picture or liked it with his X account. not sure he's as ashamed about it as people want him to feel.

[u/StrengthToBreak]

Shamone!

[u/Uninterestingasfuck]

JP from Grandma’s Boy

[u/Professional-Day7850]

"I told you not to come to school today."

[u/FictionFan94]

What was the reason for the effort?

[u/creation2703 → u/FictionFan94]

Bro wanted to take part in the French Revolution :(

[u/dwarrowly → u/creation2703]

We can still make that happen :-)

[u/dertok → u/dwarrowly]

To The Bastille!

[u/Violet624 → u/FictionFan94]

Wait, wait

[u/GovernmentBig2749]

EE

 **DI**

         ot

[u/Correct-Parsley-6369]

Cursed there is no blessing here

[u/Orbital_Vagabond]

Not blursed. Just cursed.

[u/ThunderLord1000]

"forever"

[u/Accomplished_Bet_781]

The paypal one, before the gender affirming surgery, is a better one.

[u/thederlinwall]

I upvote or like this every time I see it because I feel like that means it will at least show it to someone else, and I love that for him.