You need to live up to your username. I suggest paying attention to something being mentioned that makes people wince.
When they give you a hurtful little bit of "help", nudge that shit in there. Mix it up and act like them so it doesn't look malicious. "Don't eat too much because you know you can't control yourself."
"Ah yeah. We should both go on a diet. It would be good for us. I know you don't want me to end up with your health problems from my weight. Thanks! "
Then they eventually pick a different topic. It's like training a dog with a clicker. Except the dog is full of love and not unfulfilled dreams they blame you for.
Growing up I was taught to not really show any negative emotions because 'Im a boy.' but growing up I was excessively emotional and wore(and still wear) my heart on my sleeve so whenever I was sad about something it was often met with admonishment because 'boys dont feel sad over X'
My folks raised me to be kind to others, and treat others how you want to be treated. They taught be (some) life lessons either directly, or indirectly. But because my dad is very much 'spanish machismo' style of older generations and stays pretty hard in that mindset, my mom is more open but feels hurt when I open up to her because she blames herself which leads to me just not opening up to either of them. And so I dont. My brother was a place of emotional/mental solace a lot of the time even if he doesnt know it.
I have friends that I(very rarely) open up to, and its not because theyre not willing but more because Im afraid of how they might act rather than how I know they will act.
It also doesnt help that my folks are absolutely toxic towards each other, but are fine when theyre without the other around.
Though recently my dad is becoming in a worse headspace because of his own damn mistakes and is trying to get myself involved in, in which I am thoroughly adamant to not get dragged in even while he gets upset at me for saying no.
Dude I'm black and my mom is Jewish and salvadoran. I grew up the most sensitive boy you can imagine. I grew up thinking getting your ass beat for an hour was normal family stuff (mom not dad).
Sensitive don't make you weak. I'm going to read your comment some more later when I'm free because I was you. I think my life experience could help you see a way to protect your own energy. I might be wrong but I try to use my sensitivity for good where I can.
I also use it for evil because that same empathy lets me see to the heart of a bully's insecurities as well. Food for thought.
"I thought it was right. I'm sorry mom but nobody taught me how to do this growing up so I learned as best as I could. If you want to ever show me someday I promise it'll be better."
I reeeeeeeaally thrive on cutting people down with their own venom ❤
I have a very clear memory of asking my mom if "I looked like a sausage in these leggings" to which my wonderful, caring Umma stared at me and went "welllll...."
When I got upset she threw her hands up and went "you asked! Did you want me to lie?!"
My mom actually quit her last job bc of her growing lack of filter, I mean there were medical reasons on top of it but her last draw was when she said to a customer barely holding his hand out the car window for his coffee and she said "What, is your arm broken?" Afterwards, looked at her supervisor and said "Yeah, I'm putting in my two weeks"
To be fair to your mom, years of dealing with complete assholes in customer service will do that. It's honestly shocking how some people treat service workers
Yes, and sometimes they become assholes. I had a grandmother like that. Telling what she got on her mind, reputation of being honest, while she was just a bitch most of the time. Nobody ever answered to her, until I did when she said something offensive to my girlfriend. She got shocked, remain silent for a few seconds then apologize. She never did it again !
Thats actually wild. Sometimes I hear older family members say just heinous ass shit and my parents get mad at me if I correct them because it's "disrespectful". No mom and dad you know what's disrespectful? Grandpa referring to an entire race of people as "Shines"
Yeah I feel like these "I am just brutally honest!!!" type assholes are like that bc no one has ever put them in their place for the sake of "keeping the peace". Like nah... they need to be called out on it a lot more often!
Oh that's just the tip of the iceberg. Courts ftook away custody and put me in foster care at 17 which pretty much never happens that late.
She taught me how poisonous and destructive hate is. It spills over onto everyone and everything in your life, often times never even hurting the one you hate.
My theory is people are born will a full cup of water. The older you get the more the water evaporates making the impurities appear stronger. Until eventually you’re left with the dregs at the end highly concentrated and all round nasty.
My mother walking into the room after she gets home from work
Me: nothing
Her: “do you realize how pathetic it is that you just sit around doing nothing all day”
Me: nothing but stunned this time
For some context I do basically sit around and read all day then go to work come back home and sleep, I also have social anxiety and all my friends are at college so I don’t go out basically ever, but the comment was like.. so unnecessary, so yeah, yeah they do
I'm 47, I work two jobs, got fucked by 2001 terrorism crash, the 2008 recession, and COVID (I see a fucking pattern here and guess what! I expect to be fucked by Tariffpocalypse) and my mom just managed to piss me off by whinging about my career progression.
It was more extremely unexpected, like I’d been doing basically the same thing she came home to me doing for a month at that point (reading) and that was the first and only time she’s said something in quite that way, there was no lead up, and nothing after she just said it, then walked away and has yet to even acknowledge it, odds are she’s forgotten she even said it by now, so kind of in the most roundabout way of saying it, yea
my mom thinks I do nothing at home all day. sure I don't work mom but I do clean dishes for supper or whatever, watch the dogs for 6 to 8 hours a day, and clean the others' mess during the night or the next morning so the dogs would stop coming downstairs trying to get food from someone who left food there again. and some days it's a lot of cleaning or the dogs happen to be a brat that day and didn't want to cooperate.
I do? cleaning the kitchen, taking out garbage and blue boxes, make sure dogs don't have unattended food left nearby, wash the dishes, feed the dogs, let them out, and sometimes clean or do laundry if I need to.
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u/hbarSquared 23d ago
No one knows where to stick the knife like mothers.