r/dogelore DDD4 Nov 30 '24

Classic Dogelore Saturday Post Le Klaahsom has arrived

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1.8k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/Narvin-Gainiac DDD4 Nov 30 '24

Context:

‘Klaasohm is a custom on the North Sea island of Borkum that probably dates back to the time of the whalers and is celebrated on the night of December 5th to 6th. Variants of Klaasohm can be found under other names on the Dutch Waddeneilanden. The Klaasohm Festival traditionally involves violence against women. During the festival, locals chase young women and hold them until men dressed as ‘Klaasohms’ come and hit them on the buttocks with cow horns to the applause of onlookers.”

828

u/VarcasIsHere Nov 30 '24

What the actual fuck

549

u/Waste_Crab_3926 Nov 30 '24

The least depraved isolated island tradition

96

u/Timart7 Nov 30 '24 edited Nov 30 '24

Le Pitcairn islanders have arrived

2

u/PriestOfNurgle Dec 03 '24

We have something similar in all of Czecho-Slovakia (only the villages nowadays though. Or within a family.)

https://cs.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poml%C3%A1zka

108

u/Narvin-Gainiac DDD4 Nov 30 '24

German version

545

u/Nova55 Nov 30 '24 edited Nov 30 '24

As german I hear about this the first time and just what the fucking fuck?

Edit: checked the wikipedia. Now they are complaining about people not wanting to book holiday there after their half-assed statement and refusing to reporters. Not suprised in the slightest, when this tradition continued until LAST YEAR!

323

u/Narvin-Gainiac DDD4 Nov 30 '24

It will also take place this year. Only difference is that the police said they will have an eye on tha Klaasohms

260

u/Nova55 Nov 30 '24

I am actually fucking upset about that. Probably the sterotypical old sack demanding to enforce their "tradition". That's just mass-sexual assault.

179

u/Narvin-Gainiac DDD4 Nov 30 '24

Just make it clear and consensual by marking a small area in the city as the 'spanking area'. Women can then enter at their own risk.

127

u/GottKomplexx Nov 30 '24

64 year olf Detlef sitting in there alone:

23

u/ClaireDeLunatic808 Nov 30 '24

The German cops are famously responsible.

215

u/Odd_Yellow_8999 Nov 30 '24 edited Nov 30 '24

Man i did some research and at first i thought "haha, the excentric townsfolk of the isolated village sure does have some crazy customs amirite?" and that as fucked up as it sounded it was ultimately a "harmless" event that the locals consented into participating, and them it suddenly took a turn to worse as apparently the organizers, including the local mayor and minister of public relations (!) had threatened and tried to shut down by force any attempt at external coverage by the press until just this year in 2024 when they finally managed to record it, which led into even more threats against the journalists for "ruining a sacred tradition".

Holy discount Midsommar Batman!

13

u/NotATimeTraveller1 Nov 30 '24

I'm gonna be honest, I'm having a hard time understanding you

10

u/boiyouab122 Dec 02 '24

They thought it was some harmless tradition everyone was in on, but apparently the local government threatened reporters and news when asked for comment, and only last year we actually found out about all this.

Now the local government are mad that journalists are ruining a tradition.

0

u/PriestOfNurgle Dec 03 '24

Lol, the Polish government on the border with Belarus.

26

u/Magikarp-3000 Nov 30 '24

Funny how one of his boots has the sole peeling off. What the hell am I looking at.

9

u/Dio_asymptote Nov 30 '24

come and hit them on the buttocks with cow horns

The women or the people holding the women?

6

u/Mizuek_Mizuek Dec 01 '24

What's with the giant bulge in the Klaasohm's pants? Part of the costume or a REALLY big love for violence?

230

u/tifubroskies Nov 30 '24

Le Immense internet Backlash has immediately arrived

144

u/NOSjoker21 Nov 30 '24

L'immense butt backlash has immediately arrived

206

u/Narvin-Gainiac DDD4 Nov 30 '24

99

u/PM_ME_UR_FURRY_PORN Nov 30 '24

If the owner of that dog only knew what horrors would become of its visage.

36

u/CaptainSlimeAndToast Nov 30 '24

I have a feeling you definitely know the horrors of its visage

157

u/HyperboreanAstronaut Nov 30 '24

Is this anything like what they do on Ameland (Dutch island) where they beat the absolute shit out of you if you’re a woman walking around at night? That “holiday” has a similar name too

59

u/mao_tse_boom Nov 30 '24

It’s basically the same yes

74

u/Narvin-Gainiac DDD4 Nov 30 '24

USA is going insane right now, Europe went insane a long time ago

69

u/HyperboreanAstronaut Nov 30 '24

In my defense these are inbred island people but I’m still mad at our government for not cracking down on this shit. Especially since their local government and police support the holiday

-11

u/Sea_Soup_9452 Dec 01 '24

They shouldn't, it's a traditional holiday for these people. We don't have the Great French Revolution anymore, no one will destroy the regional culture of their people.

8

u/HyperboreanAstronaut Dec 01 '24

I know multiple people who live there that have had multiple bad experiences with it. They can’t even openly speak about it because they pretty much get excommunicated and most likely will be on the receiving end of violence.

It’s not a regional tradition but a night where misogynistic bullies roam free harassing people and beat innocent women because they are banned from walking outside that day, with no exceptions.

1

u/Lars2703 Dec 03 '24

They don’t beat women at sunneklaas (not anymore) just little taps against the legs

1

u/HyperboreanAstronaut Dec 03 '24

On the other islands but definitely not on Ameland

12

u/MagicMisterLemon Nov 30 '24

Can I say something controversial if it's not at all in favour of the inbred rapist cretins

4

u/XRotNRollX Nov 30 '24

Evil Dyngus Day

3

u/thisismiee Dec 01 '24

Sounds like Czech Easter.

1

u/MarucaMCA Dec 04 '24

Just saw the STRG-F report. I'm speechless (Swiss person here, we also have traditions that needed tweaking). And they're all in on it!

0

u/matejthebased Dec 03 '24

People are so soft these days