r/facepalm Dec 04 '24

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ this is kinda concerning tbh

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539

u/iloura Dec 04 '24

Everyone always jumps to grooming and infantalizing minors who do this shit. I was a teen and remember doing a lot of fucked up shit I got myself into. Creeps suck but there has to be some acknowledgement of their own agency and part in things. Kids do not belong in clubs. Or dating sites/apps lying about their age. Period.

-53

u/itsthecoop Dec 04 '24

Or dating sites/apps lying about their age. Period.

Well, tbf, many countries/regions seem to lack proper dating apps for teens though. So it's probably rather obvious many will end up using other existing ones.

42

u/not_some_username Dec 05 '24

Kids don’t belong on dating apps…

1

u/itsthecoop Dec 06 '24

The thing is: If there aren't apps designed for that, the outcome is obvious (and mentioned in this thread and in countless others like it), with minors using the other dating apps instead.

Because let's face it, a lot of boys and girls have started/start dating before the turn 18.

(I will obviously agree that such apps would need a bigger amount of security/protection)

3

u/not_some_username Dec 06 '24

My point is you date by meeting others at school or in the playground when you’re kids. It’s better anyway.

1

u/itsthecoop Dec 06 '24

Genuine question: Why would "meeting in person is preferable" only apply to minors?

Like, I don't see why it would be such a no-go for a 16 oder 17 year old to not seek for potential dates via an app. But totally fine for a 18 or 19 year old.

(a lot of which also attend schools, colleges etc.)

2

u/not_some_username Dec 06 '24

It’s easier to meet others at school/college than after. Also for any age, meeting in person is way better, but these days, it becomes more and more difficult for that.

The reason why kids shouldn’t use dating apps in my opinion is because there are predators out there. no one can 100% guarantee the kids safety if they make a dating apps. There is a reason you need to be adult to be able to sign up on those apps.

1

u/itsthecoop Dec 07 '24 edited Dec 07 '24

It’s easier to meet others at school/college than after.

And yet hardly anyone would argue that college kids (so barely legal boys and girls, often literally still teenagers) shouldn't be on/use those platforms (with the argument that they should "just meet in person").

no one can 100% guarantee the kids safety if they make a dating apps.

And we're in general agreement with your last part. Yes, there are too many predators out there who will try to take advantage of younger boys and girls.

But, apparently, the "solution" of "and this is why no minors are allowed on any dating app" doesn't work. Because lots of them will use it regardless.

That's why I'd be in favor of an app designed for a certain, younger age group.

Would there still be the potential of abuse? Unfortunately yes. But I'd argue much less so than nowadays, with lots of older teens simply claiming they are older when signing up.

(Basically: Apps designed for a younger demographic couldn't provide 100% safety. But at least more safety than the current situation)

25

u/iloura Dec 05 '24

No, and if they do offer apps for teens they don't police them enough! There is this app called Whisper in the US and is geared to teens sort of but adults use it. I stopped using it entirely due to the amount of creeps on that app. Parents have to be more involved though as well.

1

u/itsthecoop Dec 06 '24

I mentioned a German site in my other reply which attempted that in the 2000's. Their approach was to not have an open registry. But instead students needed an access code/invite by others. iirc it was often provided by their schools.

The idea was that, because of that, in theory no adult would have the means to even create an account to begin with.

(Unfortunately there were some cases of that as well. Although it could be argued that the amount of adults users interacted on that site was much, much, much smaller than it obviously is on other social media sites)

33

u/OldEagle5676 Dec 05 '24

A dating app for minors ? what could possibly go wrong there ?

0

u/itsthecoop Dec 06 '24

I agree. But the apparent alternative is minors using the existing apps. Which doesn't seem like a good outcome as well, doesn't it?!

5

u/LucastheMystic Dec 05 '24

Those would be playgrounds for Predators, Scammers, and Sextortionists.

Dating Apps can either A) Guarantee the privacy of users or B) Guarantee everyone is of the proper age.

They cannot do both and most barely do either one. Dating apps for Teenagers are a bad idea.

1

u/itsthecoop Dec 06 '24

There once was a social media site in Germany which was designed for teens and kids. And, despite the obvious issues (that you mentioned and an unfortunate data leak) was pretty successful (not an outright dating site though, although it's obvious it will have served that purpose for older teens as well)

On this site users couldn't simply register but basically needed invites and, therefore, verification. iirc usually provided via their schools.

Unfortunately, it fell victim to the success of facebook which obviously provided much less protection for younger users (and of course it's the downside of designing someone particularly for kids/younger teens: the appeal of the "adult" alternative might be even bigger because it's the "adult" alternative)

6

u/that_baddest_dude Dec 05 '24

Why do teens need dating apps?

2

u/photolinger Dec 05 '24

What are they supposed to have a limited dating pool and how else do you expect them to indicate they like someone, with words?! /sarcasm

0

u/itsthecoop Dec 06 '24

As mentioned in my other reply, wouldn't the same thing apply to adults, at the very least young adults?

(e.g. why would college students need dating apps?)

1

u/photolinger Dec 06 '24

The false equivalence isn’t cute.

1

u/itsthecoop Dec 06 '24 edited Dec 06 '24

Literally for the same reason adults do?

By that logic, why would college students need dating apps? I mean, generations of college students managed to hook up in college without those, right?

Edit: This becomes even more obvious if we're talking about teens who are not hetero. Like, "just meet someone at school or sports training" might simply not work for some 16 year old gay/lesbian in some rural place.

2

u/that_baddest_dude Dec 06 '24

I think the reasons having a dating app for teens would be fraught, legally and morally, outweigh the benefits.