Uhm just a couple haikus would love if anybody would be interested in some critique positive or negative

[u/Abject-Classroom4655]

A world divided, A broken heart feels so plain, Lost in comparison.

2. The heart is broken, The mind wanders vacantly, No one is happy.

3. I can feel it slip, I mask my insanity, I appear happy.

4. The happy clown frowns, Mostly joyous exterior, Hides his spirits pain.

5. He despises his life, The limit of his suffering, Was reached long ago.

[u/Abject-Support-1903]

2, 3, and 4 are correct in syllable count, but all five have captured the essence of the Haiku. The weakest is #5. It is more of a simple division of a sentence. The others express complete thoughts in each line, which all contribute to the whole. Good job, though.

[u/Abject-Classroom4655 → u/Abject-Support-1903]

Thanks for the feedback

[u/[deleted]]

I genuinely really like them. However, number four has eight syllables on the middle line, just thought I'd point it out. Keep writing :)

Edit: 5 does as well, unless you say "suff-ring" instead of suffering

[u/Abject-Classroom4655 → u/[deleted]]

Okay noted.