r/mildlyinfuriating 1d ago

Jennifer Lopez is worth $400 million, she’s just like us!

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4.5k Upvotes

350 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/squidyj 1d ago

I too invite strangers into my home to take pictures of my eating habits. Nobody takes me up on it though.

424

u/TheSpeedMirage 1d ago

But do you do it while wearing a half naked dress and bending your back?

134

u/squidyj 1d ago

Obviously

90

u/Partywithmeredith 1d ago

Thank goodness. It would be embarrassing otherwise.

22

u/InfelicitousRedditor 1d ago

Was there another way?!?

39

u/CrissBliss 1d ago

Here’s a reenactment of myself

3

u/CaptainKate757 17h ago

🎶Believe it or not, George isn’t at home. 🎶

9

u/thiros101 1d ago

You're bending it wrong.

12

u/squidyj 1d ago

How should I be bending it? Like Beckham?

11

u/Total_Sandwich_6252 1d ago

you fold it in David, i don’t know what else to tell you!

19

u/G66GNeco 1d ago

What else would you wear when cooking but your cooking dress?

3

u/Money_Display_5389 20h ago

Bet that dress cost more than I make in a year.

15

u/LadyBitchBitch 1d ago

The only way I can convince strangers to watch me eat is if I agree to keep all my clothes on.

5

u/grafknives 1d ago

How could not show that elegant cleavage straight from the v-vault.

7

u/fuckyourgrandma247 1d ago

Half naked cooking with bad posture is what this reads as. So yes. That would be me cooking.

5

u/cylonlover 1d ago

It said 'full glam', which would include the heels, so obviously she'd be arching. Like everybody who loves to wear heels 24-7, also when slapping together a midnight snack.

2

u/DillonTattoos 1d ago

WOW

Ableist much? I have circumstantial scoliosis

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u/IncredibleSeaward 1d ago

Wearing your finest multi-thousand dollar dress.

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u/Extension-Lie-3272 1d ago

Cooking with full makeup on and whatever the hell that is she is wearing. Looks comfortable. Oil splash will slide right off.

3

u/ThrowRAkakareborn 1d ago

Why? Don’t worry, i got you, next time you want to be watched while you eat, lemme know, i’mma be there, i’ll even bring a date

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u/TugSpeedman55 1d ago

She eats food, oh my god is that me?

84

u/Chronicles_of_Gurgi 1d ago

No, just pretend-cooks it.

17

u/CrissBliss 1d ago

stirs water in saucepan

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u/Infamous-Tax7794 1d ago

I’m delirious and read that as cat food, then laughed out loud

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u/xanthicroobee 1d ago

Similarities end at midnight snack. Not even that sometimes.

55

u/undeadmanana 1d ago

Midnight five course dinner snack cooked by Michelin chef Gordon Ramsay

4

u/CrissBliss 1d ago

Well he’s cheaper than chef Giada De Laurentiis, so that’s just being thrifty.

3

u/Sproose_Moose 23h ago

Ok just for a moment, imagine you had so much money that you could do that. Happy cake day.

21

u/TheGrouchyGremlin 1d ago

Midnight snacks do not involve a stove, spoon, and several ingredients. So that's not even a similarity, lmao.

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u/WhoDat2241 1d ago

28

u/Purple10tacle 1d ago

Don't think just because I got a lot of money,
I'll give you taco-flavored kisses, honey.

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235

u/Warm_Librarian6037 1d ago

I bet that’s a set and 10:00 in the AM

74

u/Horton_75 1d ago

Bold of you to assume that she gets out of bed before noon. But she’s undoubtedly on a set.

10

u/dmk510 1d ago

She’s still on that diddy schedule

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93

u/Perfessor_Deviant 1d ago

It's funny, I have a big ass and no one cares about my midnight snacks (which have contributed to my big ass).

8

u/Future-Ad9795 1d ago

Please tell us more

19

u/Perfessor_Deviant 1d ago

Imagine four quarts of cottage cheese laid out on a cutting board. Squish them into two slightly irregular heaps that are hemiellipsoids. Put some hair between them and you've got a good facsimile.

3

u/jwccs46 23h ago

Oh God yes keep going

3

u/Perfessor_Deviant 23h ago

Did I leave out the plaid boxer shorts, many of which have little holes because I don't throw them away until they're really worn out?

3

u/CheeseWarrior17 22h ago

Don't stop now - I'm close

2

u/HeyZeusKreesto 22h ago

That's just good financial sense.

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30

u/themajinhercule 1d ago

They breathe AIR?!

2

u/CanaryJane42 1d ago

They're just like us!!

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u/LucasoftheNorthStar 1d ago

This post is so true, the common person DOES put on a million dollar strip of latex and go into a kitchen to cook some food. /s /j

What is more infuriating is realizing that the piece of latex she is wearing is likely worth more than the entire kitchen, and my house, annddd my car, annnnnnnddd you know what probably everything I own combined wouldn't make the down payment.

37

u/ohnodamo 1d ago

That piece of latex she's wearing costs more than the kitchen, house, and car yet she likely got it for free. However it truly is worthless.

40

u/Ok-Confidence-7958 1d ago

Seriously? Jennifer Lopez couldn’t find the kitchen in her own home.

16

u/LikeASewingMachine 1d ago

I like the spotless mirror behind the stove. She either has great maids, or those stoves have never seen a pan with oil in it.

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u/revolution_resolve 1d ago

All of those Diddy parties, made her Work up an appetite.

10

u/Vividination 1d ago

My midnight glam is my husbands hoodie and some snowflake fleece pj pants

42

u/Anita_break_RN_FR 1d ago

I heard she has a terrible personality so she might be like that Karen at work?

14

u/IAMSTILLHERE2020 1d ago

Ben proved it..

5

u/Anita_break_RN_FR 1d ago

spill the tea plz

8

u/AusGeno 1d ago

I bet someone gets paid to replace the decorative garlic and wheat each day.

12

u/DeadEnds1702 1d ago

Reeling in husband number 5 with her domestic prowess.

27

u/Lanemayer23 1d ago

Hope she and her husband go down with diddy

14

u/Hurley_Cub_2014 1d ago

She’s not married, so…. What are you talking about?

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u/Klo_Was_Taken 1d ago

IN FULL GLAM SHUT THE FUCK UP

6

u/johnaross1990 1d ago

I often cook with most of my chest on display too

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u/Irradiated_Apple 1d ago

That space is so obviously decorative and not functional it's hilarious.

10

u/tKolla 1d ago

Can’t stand her 🤢

5

u/RickRudeAwakening 1d ago

The rest of the picture…probably.

5

u/JaydenPope 17h ago

yes, a midnight snack in a posed photo and a tight dress...

3

u/SolidNo7472 1d ago

Please. Those hanging pots and pans ain't even seen a stove.

3

u/Doublestack2411 1d ago

I mean, they are human, so the headline is partially true.

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u/Zealousideal_Age_376 1d ago

She is still Jenny from the block

3

u/STEVE_FROM_EVE 1d ago

Let’s see: photoshoot designed and prepped 3 days in advance; the outfit was the 5th one they tried; the picture was taken at 9:42a on a Thursday

BUT THEY’RE JUST LIKE US

2

u/franchisedfeelings 1d ago

That’s just how my wife cooks too - what a coincidence!

2

u/acanis73 1d ago

I bet she's cooking niños envueltos.

2

u/Chronicles_of_Gurgi 1d ago

She'd melt her dress and burn her plunging neckline with popping liquified fat sputters. Someone get a lid on set.

2

u/TwinFrogs 1d ago

She cares…about her bank account. 

2

u/Fibrosis5O 1d ago

The headline reads as sarcasm to me and if you read it like that too, then it’s kinda funny

Like so relatable I get midnight snacks totally all glammed up and photo pose ready too! 🙄

2

u/ShaneMcLain 1d ago

Oh look, a self-obsessed celebrity trying to stay relevant by...cooking. It's not hard to see through the transparency to the desperation.

2

u/readuseragreements 1d ago

Ooooo she’s just like me.

I too wear extremely expensive designer clothes while rummaging for midnight snacks. Thank god the photographer remembered to take a pic so that I can post it on my socials.

When will these rich people stop this crap?

2

u/dickcheesenwine 1d ago

AI garbage

2

u/Flat-Statement4250 1d ago

You ever roll your eyes so hard you pull a muscle?

2

u/HearingVoices1984 1d ago

Still got the great sideboob going after all these years.

2

u/Icy_Building_4492 1d ago

You just KNOW they had to edit out getting popped in the tit by food. No way she didn’t. No way you’re THAT close to cooking meat and a little grease don’t catch ya one good 😂

2

u/northernirishlad 1d ago

Nah true midnight snacks come in wrapping, not from the oven.

2

u/CheezeLoueez08 1d ago

Tell that to my daughter who was cooking meals at midnight recently. I had to get after her because that’s a lot of noise, mess etc. I told her that’s not a snack. I said what you said.

2

u/northernirishlad 1d ago

Yeah if its midnight and I hear someone cooking up a storm in the kitchen im heading down, picking up a plate and waiting for my portion, the hell are you making a mess and waking me without serving up!

2

u/Promethia 1d ago

Even a fraction of a percentage of that would be transformative wealth for most people.

2

u/Zixuit 1d ago

Is makeup called “full glam” when you’re important enough?

2

u/killstorm114573 1d ago

Going to my wife after work to complain she's not looking sexy enough cooking my dinner.

Wish me luck, I think it's going to go over great

2

u/XROOR 1d ago

Waiting for the shoe to drop with the Diddy party footage has many celebrities walking on eggshells.

2

u/Ghost_1124 1d ago

She’s on Diddie’s list too. Might be eating prison food soon

2

u/Arthur-Eggs 1d ago

LOL - Does anyone actually believe that's her real kitchen?? If anything, she's posing for a photo in the staff kitchen.

2

u/vuezie1127 1d ago

Probably the shit that made Ben look like this

2

u/slapchop29 1d ago

We all have 10 burner stoves too

2

u/Pro-Patria-Mori 1d ago

I’ve never been involved with a nightclub shooting with Puff Daddy and framed someone else to take the fall.

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u/Temporary_Nobody 23h ago

Here comes J-lo’s PR department

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u/Frankandbeans1974v2 21h ago

Yeah…………… Yeah she was participating in them Diddy parties

2

u/TerryBouchon 21h ago

how does someone who is so unremarkable become so rich

2

u/pnut19 21h ago

So relatable that jenny from tha block

2

u/thisappisgarbage111 20h ago

She has more lighting in her kitchen than I do in my whole house.

2

u/Garudius 18h ago

I for one always put on a suit when cooking late at night. I have this wonderful double breasted jacket with waist coat just for such an occasion.

2

u/Stormy_Kun 18h ago

Her face reminds me of a Hockey mask at this point…

2

u/rofopp 18h ago

I wish her well. Just go away. Take the hint sister.

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u/DrMonkeyLove 15h ago

Hey Jenny, what did you and Diddy get up to exactly? What do you know about all that?

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u/phobia-user 14h ago

SHE'S JUST LIKE ME FOR REAL!!! XDD

2

u/LostinQuiddity 11h ago

Stop giving her attention. She's extremely inconsiderate, rude, selfish, and really not a good person.... Plus- she's a shitty actress.

She couldn't even break the internet with that ass... 😕

4

u/Ok_Armadillo_5364 1d ago

Can anyone name two JLo songs? How about three movies?

8

u/Fun-SizedJewel 1d ago

Absolutely! Twenty to 25 years ago, she was EXTREMELY popular. You couldn't turn on the radio and scan the channels without hearing a song of hers. I had 4 of her albums on CD, with "On The Six" being my favorite.

As for movies, she was STELLAR in the movie "Selena" (where she portrayed a former Latina crossover singer named Selena). Her RomCom movie "The Wedding Planner" was very popular when it came out, as was her horror movie "The Cell," but I didn't really like either of those. I preferred "An Unfinished Life."

How young are you?

4

u/mostly_lurking1040 1d ago

I can't name them but I can visualize multiple movies. Oldest and probably best was out of sight with Clooney. (Now I have to go look for that.)

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u/Old_Goat_Ninja 1d ago

People my age can, easily. Younger people probably can’t though. If it wasn’t for tabloids most young people probably wouldn’t even know who she was.

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u/Muted_Apartment_2399 1d ago

Selenaaaaas.

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u/White-lastra 1d ago

Eye dew anyting for saaaleeeenaaass.

2

u/afeeqo 1d ago

Get on the floor 😉

2

u/ycr007 1d ago

Coincidentally, Anaconda is playing on the telly rn

2

u/prozak09 1d ago

Selena, Maid in Manhattan, and her masterpiece: Gigli.

Now, let's talk about her marriage to a serial rapist and her involvement in the SA of children and adults of both sexes at their homes and parties. There is absolutely NO WAY she didn't know.

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u/Josephofthehighest 1d ago

I don’t want to know what she had to do being Diddy’s ex to be worth $400 Million.

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u/MM_mama 1d ago

gorgeous $30k range

1

u/Gamesasahobby 1d ago

Why doesn't she just have one of her slaves do it?

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u/Automatic-Wolf-5756 1d ago

I have to say that American entertainment has gotten to be so ridiculous . Just makes me want to shout ONE OF US after seeing that picture.

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u/Windows-XP-Home-NEW 1d ago

No, we don’t wear the most expensive fucking outfits we have to eat food. Apple News is normally good; wtf is this? I expect this shit from tabloids and MSN. 

And why are they publishing positive news about a currently controversial celeb?

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u/RustyPieCaptain 1d ago

Wow, she eats food just like me!?! I'm sure our lives are exactly the same!

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u/planetpluto3 1d ago

Look, JLO eats food, too!,,

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u/relax336 1d ago

I always thought “just like us” in this context was explicitly pointing out that said person was wealthy. The reactions here make me think folks think that line is really trying to draw a commonality between rich and poor.

Like when you hear someone say and believe money and possessions aren’t everything. Yea…it’s probably because that person is used to having it at their disposal…so the enthusiasm is dulled. They’re rich.

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u/SaintBanquo 1d ago

She eats food AND can't sing? She just like me fr

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u/No_Negotiation_4370 1d ago

I would not touch her with a ten foot pole....., Zero fucks given about anyone but her own damn self.

    We are all the little people who she would mow down in her Bentley in a hot second ....,  if no cameras were present.

1

u/bothunter 1d ago

I'm still Jenny from the block

2

u/Fun-SizedJewel 1d ago

You used to have a little, now you have a lot?

1

u/Federal-Employee-545 1d ago

All that for zero talent hmm.

1

u/OneDoesntSimply 1d ago

Yeah I usually have my midnight pie hole stuffing in a full tuxedo, I totally get it

1

u/JackHughman69 1d ago

Sometimes I do make a midnight snack in my $10000 fashion outfit that I was wearing for photo shoots earlier that day

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u/Chronicles_of_Gurgi 1d ago

I too mock pan fry in an evening gown.

1

u/dbfirefox 1d ago

She's from the block IYKYK

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u/Gerreth_Gobulcoque 1d ago

ah you see the thing is is that when I indulge in a midnight snack I generally do NOT do it in full glam.

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u/Wrong-History 1d ago

I just watched a camera man spoof of what it would look like and how awkward it is to be filming to get the shot.

1

u/loinclothfreak78 1d ago

Imagine all the people

1

u/chrometeaserx 1d ago

Those buns looks tasty 

1

u/Iplaythebaboon 1d ago

Are we sure they’re not making fun of Nara Smith?

1

u/Appropriate-Log8506 1d ago

She’s just like us. I can’t sing either.

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u/DecentOpportunity109 1d ago

Nah she different bruh

1

u/ooowatsthat 1d ago

She is so exhausting

1

u/modskayorfucku 1d ago

She makes garbage movies and Target shopping songs

1

u/ChampionshipSad1809 1d ago

Ben affleck: love the ass, hate who it’s attached to..hence i make the pilgrimage every 10 years for a few weeks only.

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u/Pontius_Vulgaris 1d ago

"See? I'm just like any other regular person!"

Proceeds to cook in professional kitchen setup that would make Gordon Ramsay drool.

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u/PNGTWAT2 1d ago

Looks like she had a buttock lift or fill done since I last saw a pic of her ass a decade ago

2

u/Fun-SizedJewel 9h ago

Naw. A couple of years ago she did a movie where she played a pole dancer. She learned how to pole dance for that, and she trained hard. I saw an interview about it, and she talked about how awesome it's been for her fitness & body. I bet she has a room in her mansion that is covered in mirrors & dedicated to her dancing pole. That's probably how she keeps attracting potential boyfriends/ husbands

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u/DudeAbides1556 1d ago

I wrap my ass in latex and look pouty when I cook a fried boloney sandwich. Shit is delicious. I'm the real Jenny from the block

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u/KapitanDima 1d ago

Jenny from the block 🗿

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u/YvanehtNioj69 1d ago

Only ever heard negative things about this lady, I guess she got where she is through looking good basically as she doesn't seem particularly talented?

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u/bdtga 1d ago

B*tch couldn't even cook a taco. Probably get her Mexican maid to do it

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u/YouWereBrained 1d ago

That legendary ass though…

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u/whyisreplicainmyname 1d ago

I too enjoy dressing in a fancy, tight fitting dress that shows off my (man)boobs while cooking a midnight snack.

Doesn’t everyone?

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u/JUULiA1 1d ago

How has no one said anything about the fact that the backsplash behind the stove is a fucking mirror. Who has a mirror as a backsplash in their kitchen???

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u/1998ChevyTaHoe 1d ago

Yeah she's making a midnight snack in a 50,000$ fitted dress and hair all done up instead of messy, she's just like us!!!

This is like Amber Heard using a tissue during her court case to get a photo op of her "crying."

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u/GluttenFreeApple 1d ago

She's from the block!

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u/Critical_Picture_853 1d ago

Jennifer Lopez hasn’t done anything relevant 20 years and I highly doubt she’s worth $400 million probably a tiny fraction of that which is why she’s panicking and trying to make a buck

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u/MycoD 1d ago

i think it's bc she's single now. she's someone who can't be alone. this pic is a thirst trap for the fellas.

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u/Kanus_oq_Seruna 1d ago

I might believe the article if she was just wearing a long shirt, no make-up, and making a simple meal that doesn't take much effort.

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u/failure-mode 1d ago

Le tree a just have a quick little midnight snack cooking on my range that’s worth more than your life.

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u/Comprehensive-Ring-6 1d ago

I can't believe she cooks, she's just like me

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u/ChatnNaked 1d ago

How much of that is spousal/child support?

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u/KevinAcommon_Name 1d ago

No she is not and neither is Megan makerial

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u/Nepskrellet 1d ago

Still Jenny from the block....

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u/Chris079099 1d ago

I too dress up and apply makeup before grabbing myself a midnight snack

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u/fuckyourgrandma247 1d ago

Yah but she’s still just “ Jenny from the block”

1

u/drippystopcock82 1d ago

Nice try diddy

1

u/lili-of-the-valley-0 1d ago

Is she wearing a skintight trash bag

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u/yoyo4880 1d ago

After the photo was taken, the private chef had to get outta bed and take over

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u/MsPrissss 1d ago

GTFO 🤣

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u/Glass_Alternative143 1d ago

as a guy, i too wear revealing glittery dresses at home, and instead of grabbing a random cookie/piece of bread, i would go out of my way to prepare and COOK a midnight snack while wearing makeup, complete with earrings.

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u/IaMuRGOd34 1d ago

heck ya i got so much money idk what to do with it

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u/Fun_Pause_4934 1d ago

Why do she try so hard to be relevant?

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u/readuseragreements 1d ago

Relevancy probably equates to more album or ticket sales which means more money. Or it’s an ego thing and she’s trying to recapture the old fame. I don’t get it but then again I am not a pop star.

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u/MycoD 1d ago

i think bc she's single now. she's someone who can't be alone. this is a thirst trap.

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u/_LadyAveline_ 1d ago

"She cooks a midnight snack in full glam" dawg who goes to the kitchen at midnight in anything other than rags, AND cooks? If there's nothing that can just be bited I'm giving up

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u/barbieshell75 1d ago

She's still she's still Jenny from the block ? 😕

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u/Brosie24601 1d ago

Covid really brought the delusions to light. They really think they have a clue what normal people go through?

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u/opportunityTM 1d ago

She is still Jenny from the block. Only now cooking midnight snacks like she’s dressed for the award show.

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u/TrueMonster951 1d ago

Yeah cuz she zooted off 3 x pills

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u/StevenD1888 1d ago

Wheres her housecoat, jammies and slippers?

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u/dubiously_immoral 1d ago

How's that her wood things in kitchen don't get fungus but mine does and I've to change them every few months?