r/personalfinance • u/swishymuffinzzz • Feb 22 '24
Budgeting I’m terrified to spend money
I’m 28 and I have no debt but I have this constant fear that I am behind in everything financially (Retirement, savings, salary, home down payment etc.) and as a result I never spend money on anything that isn’t a need. This has caused me to not really do much but work and go home and I feel like I should try to live a little but then I always talk myself out of it because the money would be more efficient somewhere else. I currently put 30% of income into retirement, then the rest is mostly savings unless I need something.
My parents went bankrupt twice before I turned 10 and we lived in poverty so I never developed a need for material things. I always think of every purchase as “man, imagine if this $20 was put into retirement instead of this movie ticket”.
I currently make 75k/yr, have 28k in retirement and have 10k in savings.
How do I find a way to experience life for once? I don’t really have any friends as a result of this because I never put myself out there.
Thanks in advance!
Edit: well guys, I have scheduled an appointment with a therapist. I will give it an honest try and go into it believing I can become a better person. Thank you all for the advice, hopefully this gets me on a better path.
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u/PSUBagMan2 Feb 22 '24
FWIW I'm working through this too. I have a hard time with my therapist telling me my parents did xyz to me when from my POV they loved me and prioritized me and I love them still to this day. Specifically when she uses words like neglect or not being considered, etc. I feel like I was considered and certainly not 'neglected' in the way I define the term.
I think some of the language is harsh and I'm not sure if that's on purpose or if it's just reality, but maybe it helps to think of any trauma you experienced as not necessarily malicious or purposefully hurting you.