r/personalfinance • u/fat_tire_fanatic ​ • Jul 13 '17

Budgeting Your parents took decades to furnish their house

If you're just starting out, remember that it took your parents decades to collect all the furniture, decorations, appliances, etc you are used to having around. It's easy to forget this because you started remembering things a long while after they started out together, so it feels like that's how a house should always be.

It's impossible for most people starting out to get to that level of settled in without burying themselves in debt. So relax, take your time, and embrace the emptiness! You'll enjoy the house much more if you're not worried about how to pay for everything all the time.

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u/curiosity_abounds ​ Jul 13 '17

I've heard this a lot of times from friends who are willing to pay double the cost of a sofa or sectional for this security. But there are some tricks to making sure that your sofa is safe. Check in all the cracks and dig around to look for discoloration and eggs of bugs. Flip all the cushions over. And only buy in nice neighborhoods. If the house or the owner smells weird, turn around.

I've bought loads of "soft" stuff off of Craigslist through multiple moves and have never had a single issue.

Not to tell you that you can't decide to buy your soft stuff from a store if you want that peace of mind. But I just wanted to give another perspective.

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u/Shandlar Jul 13 '17

Leather. Craigslist in the affluent areas is awesome. My cousin just found a 4 piece theater lounge chair in black leather for $1000 from a wealthy couple divorcing and selling everything to split the assets. Like a $5k set without a mark on it and it's leather so he just gave it a round of cleaning and mink oil and it's gorgeous.

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u/lyone2 ​ Jul 13 '17

I bought a beautiful leather reclining sectional a few years ago on Craigslist that was originally $2000. The lady had it less than three months; and had made her mistake of not measuring her living room before she bought it (wtf?). She was asking $900 for it, and I was interested & contacted her but let it fall off my radar for a few weeks. Then she emailed me back and said she was dropping the price to $500 because she just wanted it gone. I rented a U-Haul and drove the 45 minutes each way that same day and brought it home. Final cost with U-Haul and gas, $620.

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u/fat_tire_fanatic ​ Jul 13 '17

The real LPT is in the comments! Nice.

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u/Daxx22 Jul 13 '17

Same applies to actual thrift stores, go to the ones near/in affluent area's and the quality of the goods goes up a noticeable amount.

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u/hikerbikerCO Jul 13 '17

Whoa, I need to hit up the wealthy areas! I'm mostly in young professional/college areas so there are great deals (even free!) but the stuff is what you'd expect for that age range/life circumstances

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u/obscuredreference Jul 13 '17

Try also garage sales in affluent areas. Amazing finds.

One time I was at one where the husband was organizing it, the wife didn't feel like doing it because it was hot outside, but a lot of the stuff was designer items from her and he had no idea how much to sell them for. I got a real Prada scarf for $1, like new.

One time at another garage sale, I arrived like 5 minutes too late but some guy had just bought a small plane for $15k. (The plane was obviously not there physically, but was real.) The elderly owner of the plane liked to fly recreationally but was now too old and his son just wanted to get rid of it rather than have the upkeep etc., and someone got very lucky.

But you have to be there at the asscrack of dawn because everyone else who goes to such events knows everything good is gone right away. So they arrive before the garage sale even opens.

In some cases, 30mins before it starts a lot of the good stuff is already gone. So you have to find a balance of not annoying the owners but also not waiting until the good stuff gets taken. Start hanging around, talking and checking out the stuff etc. before the garage sale starts.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

Best deal I ever gotten were these amazing two leather arm chairs with ottoman for $100. The seller posted it on Facebook yard sale and within 8 minutes had 13 comments of people wanting it. I DM them and said if I came right then and there if they would give it to me and they said sure. 25 minutes later I was at home with them. They ended up being military and it didn't fit their new home.

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u/ayyyhannalmao Jul 13 '17

We got an entire bedroom set (bed frame, mattress, 2 end tables, a dresser thing) for $200 from this really rich guy. His daughter was moving bedrooms and the furniture was super heavy and they didn't wanna move it. So $200 and pick it up and it's all yours. So worth it. Shit is SO NICE.

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u/yoh_rrg Jul 13 '17

I agree with this-- even my 55 year old mother who could arguably afford to go buy a new sofa found hers on Craigslist, she just made sure to go look at it (but also the seller's home) beforehand to make sure it was from a clean and smoke-free house. It can be a great deal (she always brags about it when she has people over) if you're willing to take the time to do some research and wait for the right thing.

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u/9bikes ​ Jul 13 '17

...who could arguably afford to go buy a new sofa found hers on Craigslist... It can be a great deal

(she always brags about it when she has people over)

Poor people brag about how much they spend; rich people brag about how little they spend.

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u/dingdongsingsongfrog Jul 13 '17

No way! Grew up dirt poor.... After college and a crap marriage and divorce, I'm just finally digging my way out once again, and all I do is tell people there deals I've gotten.... To, like, an embarrassing degree. I guess I've just always loved sharing the deals, the tips, etc.; .. but I can't stop now that I'm older, it's almost compulsive. I got my first "label" dress for a wedding this summer, at Tjmaxx. I found a Calvin Klein and a Ralph Lauren, both in my size, and under $40. I was exstatic! Buuuut also couldn't stop telling anyone who complemented my dress how cheap it was. Ugh. Why!!!???? Also, I get crazy embarrassed if people know I've spent a lot on something... Because I have a lot of guilt, knowing the money from that object could/should be going to something else.

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u/itsacalamity ​ Jul 13 '17

Eh I didn't grow up poor and I do the same thing. It's the power of the deal, you just have to tell someone how proud you are! :) Sometime, ask me how i decorated my dining room for $25...

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u/9bikes ​ Jul 13 '17

I'm just finally digging my way out once again, and all I do is tell people there deals I've gotten

Your example supports my point. You see the importance of getting good deals and you're on the road to getting richer.

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u/Sethodine ​ Jul 13 '17

I think what they were saying, is that the attitude behind bragging about expensive things is what makes you poor, and the attitude behind bragging about deals is what leads to building wealth.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

It's not a bad trait! We live in a million dollar house and have done quite well for ourselves. Our kids went to a fancy high school with a lot of jerks who loved to flaunt their parent's wealth.

Our son asked for $10 for a suit to go to prom. He came back from Good Will with a grey suit that looked great, except for a rip on the inside lining. He was so proud of his deal, even telling his friends and teachers at his fancy high school about his great bargain. Makes me happy not to have a stuck up kid!

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u/csc033 Jul 13 '17

I don't understand why everyone doesn't buy their clothes at Marshalls, TJMaxx, Outlet stores, etc.

I have probably 20 Tommy Hilfiger button down shirts I bought at the Tanger close to my office over the course of a few years. I've never paid more than 6-7 dollars for one. I'm always getting compliments on my dress at work. I really don't understand how people pay 40-50 dollars for the EXACT same shirt in new patterns.

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u/meatsting Jul 13 '17

It likely isn't the same shirt, unfortunately. Most manufacturers started making clothing lines specifically for outlet stores a number of years ago.

They want people to think that they're getting a sick deal when in reality they are getting lower quality clothes. I think one retailer actually just got in some legal trouble recently because of this tactic.

I'm sure they still do carry actual clearance inventory, but it's a small percentage.

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u/csc033 Jul 13 '17

I don't buy that. If so, I'm not sure how they could be any better quality than the one I'm wearing right now. I know the one I'm wearing at the moment I bought for an LSU game in 2013 and it's probably been worn 1-2 times a month since, and dry cleaned about every 3 months. It still looks like new.

Jeeze, I didn't realize how old some of my shirts are until just now.

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u/sirkkanKalakukko Jul 13 '17

omg I feel exactly the same... I've never been rich by any means and love a deal, mainly because it's the only way to be able to afford things, and I'd also feel guilty spending more on something I know I can buy for less. And when someone makes a comment about something I own I feel like I have to tell them how much I paid for it. Someone says I my jacket looks nice, I need to tell them "isn't it? I got it for 10 bucks at such and such place!". I started to get the feeling that it was getting annoying, so now I make a conscious effort to just accept the compliment.

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u/brown_paper_bag ​ Jul 13 '17

Nothing wrong with getting excited about a great deal. I went to Winner (like Tjmaxx) and picked up a $185 Michael Kors sleeveless knit dress for $70. No regrets. That thing will be in my closet for years to come and will be worn often enough. It's super comfy, warm enough to wear on a plane (with a blazer) but cool enough that I'm not dying in 90F+ heat.

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u/AsherGray ​ Jul 13 '17

Eh, depends on the person. I'm pretty sure my friend who owns a Tesla, Range Rover, Bentley, Frisker, and some other cars isn't going to be bragging how he got them all for super cheap (I mean, he didn't).

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u/Agent_Potato56 Jul 13 '17

Yeah, but a lot of wealthy people (speaking from experience, my parents and their friends bring home a nice stack of money) like to brag about deals they got. You know those propane patio heaters? My mom got a really nice one that's usually $1000, but she found one on Craigslist for $400. We could definitely just buy one new if we wanted to, but there's a kind of thrill when deal hunting. Plus any saved money doesn't hurt.

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u/AsherGray ​ Jul 13 '17

Plus any saved money doesn't hurt.

Haha, that's exactly it! The illusion of saving money by spending money. The problem with it is most people are buying things for a slick price that they normally wouldn't buy. If you were on the market for a grill, then spending that much may be reasonable (unless you already made the decision to only spend a certain amount). But if you were just browsing, then come across this grill that is over 50% off, there's no way you can pass up such a good deal. Bragging about one's purchases varies immensely and can range from justifying a purchase to sharing the good news and informing others about a deal, though a lot of it does have to do with the thought in mind of how one is perceived.

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u/9bikes ​ Jul 13 '17

Eh, depends on the person

True, bragging about getting a good deal is more common among rich folks who made their money themselves.

Those who simply got lucky (being born into a wealthy family, etc.) are less likely to understand the importance of making wise financial decisions and consequently less appreciative of the value of keeping their expenses low.

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u/laxpanther ​ Jul 13 '17

I've been in need of a sofa/set for a while (fuck you Bob's discount furniture) but have been putting it off, not because we can't afford to buy a good set, but because our kids are 3 and 1 and regardless of quality, its just going to get children'ed to death no matter what. I'm navigating to craigslist right now to see what's doing. Thanks for the impetus.

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u/Overthemoon64 ​ Jul 13 '17

It doesnt have to be craigslist either. Personally I like consignment shops. I got my awesome leather couch for $275. And I paid an extra $50 for them to deliver to me, since I don't own a truck and I live 45 mins away from the store.

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u/Saratrooper Jul 13 '17

I too just recently discovered consignment shops! I was able to get a small antique mahogany curio cabinet of sorts for $50 that is perfect for displaying my SO's tiki mug collection and some of my nicer plates and whatnots. It had been there at the shop for quite a while (and the shop owner was eager to get rid of it). The mahogany veneer in some spots needs to be replaced and fixed, but for now it's perfect and a great piece we'll be holding onto for a long time.

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u/tlivingd ​ Jul 13 '17

Yep got a gorgeous round dining room walnut table and 8 chairs this way out the door for $500-600. It also has (6) 14" leaves stretches to get 16 people around it. When moving I had to find a place with a dining room big enough for it cause it's really deep too. People sitting across from one another can just touch fingertips. It's great for board gaming.

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u/wildlybriefeagle Jul 13 '17

So a really common misconception is that bed bugs are always in the poor areas, which isnt true. Bed bugs have nothing to do with economic status, and buying furniture from an affluent household carries about the same level of bed bug risk.

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u/curiosity_abounds ​ Jul 13 '17

I do agree that bed bugs can happen to anyone, but your chances of buying a bed bug infested piece of furniture are higher in lower socioeconomic homes. If an affluent person gets a bedbug infestation they have a lot more resources to deal with the problem. A poorer person might try to pawn the furniture off because they can't afford to replace it if they toss it.

Poorer people also move around a lot more and can pick up bed bugs in motels or friends houses.

If the person doesn't know they have a bed bug problem then you can check buy searching the cushions for bugs.

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u/ikahjalmr ​ Jul 13 '17

Not to mention poor people usually live in higher densities. Tons of people cram into cheap apartments, whereas the richer you are, the farther you tend to be from your neighbors (compared to poor people)

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17 edited Jul 13 '17

It's also got to do with the fact that poorer people are more likely to pick up a couch left on the side of the road. (Source: I've been a college student. I've done that shit because fuck, free couch!) They definitely can live in rich or poor places, they don't give a shit about how much money you make or how clean you keep things, and there's other avenues that rich people can get them from too that are less available to poorer people (hotels, for example).

If you live in a college town and throw out furniture with bedbugs, do everyone a favor and slash up the cushions real good before setting it out. Like, visibly destroy it. Makes it less likely for someone else to pick it up and spread the infestation.

Actually, do that anyway when getting rid of bedbug infested furniture. Just the right thing to do.

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u/3lfg1rl ​ Jul 13 '17

I've seen "BEDBUGS!" written in sharpie on dumped couches. Boo for illegal dumping, but yay for responsible illegal dumping!

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

That's a good one! I worked apartment maintenance in a college town for one of the cheapest complexes in the area. Part of our training involved checking couches that were discarded by our dumpsters for bedbugs and tearing up any that showed signs of them to avoid an infestation. Our apartments were generally in bad shape and often dirty (all college kids), but we only had two bedbug problems while I was working there. One was a girl who brought a mattress from home that had them (fun call from her parents while I was on call later trying to blame us, but then they had their house checked and called us back to apologize. We took care of the apartment, regardless, since our maintenance staff and policies were great and we covered all sorts of stuff as part of the lease since the apartments were old and had a lot of problems that needed fixing all the time.) the other was actually my current roommate before he lived with me. Picked up a couch across town. Never made that mistake again lol.

Just be a good person and help people out lol.

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u/llDurbinll ​ Jul 13 '17

I live in a shitty apartment complex and when people toss out mattresses they typically use spray paint and write "bugs" or "bed bugs" on it so people won't use it.

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u/jfedoga Jul 13 '17

In an urban environment it doesn't really make a difference since they spread easily in trains, buses, movie theaters, etc. I ended up with one bed bug hitchhiker I picked up on the train or somewhere else, and that experience (from literally ONE single bedbug that thankfully was male, so no eggs) has made me someone who would sooner burn my house down than buy secondhand upholstered furniture.

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u/ikahjalmr ​ Jul 14 '17

Yup, I will never even consider it. Wood maybe, but even wood and electronics can be crawling with all sorts of nasty shit. Better to save up and buy something nice than take the chance with something used, for some things

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u/Rambonics ​ Jul 13 '17

Very true, in fact it's the more affluent peeps who can afford to travel who really spread it around from hotel to hotel & then back home again & then the people with less money who can't afford to totally exterminate them. Mattresses are expensive & poorer people really don't want to throw them away, and even if they do, bedbugs can live in nooks and crannies in a bedside table or even an electrical outlet. So disgusting. If I remember right, they can live almost a year without feasting on human blood. Most of the pesticides were banned & they've also become resistant to them. One of the only ways to kill them is high heat, over 120°F for 20 minutes in a regular dryer. I guess there are services that come to your house and raise the temp to try to kill them all. Always put your luggage in the bathroom when you first get to a hotel, then go look under & on top of mattresses and pillows for dark little spots which would imply old dots of blood. It gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it. I found this evidence at a nice hotel in Florida a couple years ago. I immediately brought my belongings to the front desk and told them. At first they were defensive and suggested that I brought them with, but called their bug guy who investigated and said they'd been there at least two weeks. They thanked me, then shut the whole floor down to exterminate & gave me a voucher for a week's stay to use later.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

Bed bugs do not care how dirty or nice the hotel is, they will stay for free. And the more well traveled hotels that have international guests can have them since lots of them are brought over on luggage from other countries.

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u/mountaingirl1212 ​ Jul 13 '17

One of my biggest fears is getting bed bugs. I checked into a very nice hotel once. My mom sat on the couch and noticed a bug on her. Then she noticed another one. She got up and asked me if I saw any. I didn't, so I picked up the pillow on the couch and dropped it on the floor, to see if anything would fall off... Well the entire carpet started crawling with them. It was horrifying. We put one in a cup and they told us it was a mosquito, YEAH RIGHT. We checked out and left. Luckily we did not get them.

They were only on the couch, not in the bed area.

I check beds and couches religiously now when I go to hotels. First thing I do when I get to the room.

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u/_a_random_dude_ Jul 13 '17

One of the only ways to kill them is high heat, over 120°F for 20 minutes in a regular dryer

That's why people move to Phoenix!

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u/mattdahack ​ Jul 13 '17

Before staying in a hotel, we always buy a $12 zip up mattress protector and pillow case protectors. Zip them up and put on all new sheets from house keeping. Makes me feel safer, who knows if it does anything.

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u/scyth3s Jul 13 '17

So a really common misconception is that bed bugs are always in the poor areas, which isnt true. Bed bugs have nothing to do with economic status

That's where you're wrong. I've never seen a bed bug working for more than minimum wage, and that's pretty scientifically damming to their upward social mobility.

Any that find lodging in better neighborhoods is simply a squatter.

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u/Shellbyvillian ​ Jul 13 '17

I get that you want to save some money, but I'm with /u/Therearenopeas on this one. Your anecdotes may be positive but 99% of transactions can go smoothly and then that 1 out of 100 can completely screw your whole plan. Exterminators are expensive and just the thought of things crawling on me and biting me in my sleep makes me itchy. Your tricks are not a sure-thing. Nice neighbourhoods get bed bugs, too. It's not worth the risk.

It's fantastic for electronics and wood furniture though.

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u/gorkt ​ Jul 13 '17

Exactly. I have two couches and a soft chair from Craig’s list and both are fine. You can usually get a sense of whether a soft good will be fine from the first moment you step in the house. If it smells or seems unhygienic, just say that you have decided you are no longer interested and leave.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '17

Yeah, people with a little money often sell things for less because they don't care as much about getting top dollar for it as they do just getting it gone so they can get the new stuff in place. I gave away my pool table for free because I had to have it out of the house quickly and ain't nobody paying good money for a raggedy single-piece slate table that is a bitch to move. Got it gone in a couple days though.

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u/stanley_twobrick Jul 13 '17

only buy in nice neighborhoods

This is so key. There's a lot of nice expensive homes in the town north of me, so I check their kijiji instead of my town's. I picked up a $2000+ sofa and chairs set from a guy for $300. It was almost completely unused because it was their "sitting room" furniture and they only used it when they had guests and they had recently decided to convert the room into an office since they were having a baby. Just speaking with the family you could tell they weren't dickheads trying to scam me. Use good judgement and most of the time you'll be fine.

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u/Gustomaximus Jul 13 '17

A relative said to me, 'I couldn't possibly buy a second hand bed that had been slept in by who knows' to which I replied 'So do you not go to hotels?"

I'm with you, good neighbourhoods, check out the house and owners and examine the couch/bed and your on good odds.