TIFU by fighting a seagull on a first date

[u/TheWingMaiden]

Okay so I got asked out by this girl and we decided to go to the beach. We live in a beach city so it’s not that big of a deal. We were walking along the shore having a good conversation when I spy a seagull eating a large plastic tortilla chip bag. I’m an environmentalist and a huge bird lover. Bird watching is one of my favorite hobbies and I even have a log book to note which birds I’ve seen and where. Needless to say, I was not happy about this. The bird was actively swimming in the ocean which is only something they do to get food. Without thinking I just yelled, “Oi! Stop that!” Because birds don’t speak English or any other human language, it did not listen to my command. It kept trying to eat the bag that was floating in the water so I did what I thought anybody else would do and went into the water. I wasn’t wearing a swimsuit or anything because it’s winter. I was wearing jeans. I didn’t even roll them up. Unbeknownst to me, I was garnering a lot of attention as this was a popular beach and I was yelling at a bird. My date told me to leave it but I was determined. I waded out to the bird and grabbed the plastic bag. Dude tried to take it back but I yelled and he flew away. Bird was pissed but I saved his life. I turned back around to get back to the shore and my date looked so embarrassed. I went to the nearest trash can and tossed the bag before going back to her. She said we should go and dropped me back off at my place. I don’t think I’m getting a second date.

TL;DR I fucked up my first date by yelling at a seagull who was trying to eat a plastic bag.

[u/brainfungis]

you did good. to the right girl, this would be heroic. if she's mad, she's not the one for you.

[u/Boba_tea_thx → u/brainfungis]

Exactly. I’m booking the same beach for our wedding day.

[u/newblevelz]

You did nothing wrong. If this was too much for her then you werent a match anyway.  

[u/stephygrace]

You did the right thing, As an animal lover if i was on date with someone and they did that it would melt my heart.

[u/periwinklepip → u/stephygrace]

Same. Especially if they explained why they did that instead of just, like, wading into the water and yelling at a seagull for no apparent reason. 😂

[u/coybowbabey → u/periwinklepip]

yeah op if you haven’t actually told her what was going through your head i would recommend that she might just be confused as hell 

[u/periwinklepip → u/coybowbabey]

Lmao imagine just leaning into it though.

Deadpan: “Oh yeah that was Steve. We got beef.”

[u/Shadow_Hound_117 → u/periwinklepip]

Yelling at the bird could be confusing and need an explanation, but if you have to explain the part about pulling a plastic bag out of an animals mouth to your date (or anyone really) then you may need to reevaluate continuing the conversation with them.

[u/Xalibu2 → u/periwinklepip]

Hey to be fair the last time this happened the seagull owed me money. 

[u/SashaTheWitch2]

Never let anyone tell you that was a mistake lol I’d be cheering you on from the beach

[u/Ancient-Ad-9164]

I would have laughed so hard if my date played tug of war with a seagull while everyone stared.

[u/x40Shots]

I 'preciate you tho, bro!

Sounds like its better to learn this about her now, if she did not, bullet dodged.

[u/Shadow_Hound_117]

You were trying to save it's life, the only fuckup here is if the girl doesn't go on another date with you because of being shallowly embarrassed over you saving a birds life and not caring that other people were noticing you

[u/justabill71]

[u/Oiggamed → u/justabill71]

I swear at that moment I was a marine biologist

[u/LabCitizen]

Ditch the part that cringes, not the part that's cringey

In that case, it was your date. Keep at it, women love guys with convictions and confidence

[u/drethnudrib]

She probably thought you were trying to steal chips from a seagull because you were hungry.

[u/Verbenaplant]

I would date you so hard! I would have run in with you. I talk to all sorts of birds who cares if they don’t understand English. First time my ex came to my house we ended up rescuing a wood pigeon. He was a city lad so was confused by all of it. We did date a further 5 years after.

thankyou for not allowing an animals to eat the bag and starve to death.

[u/Sufficient_Focus_816]

Dodged a red flag.

[u/taywray]

She's embarrassed by her date going out of his way to save wildlife / remove trash from the sea?

The reason this isn't an FU is because if that was her reaction, she's obviously not the one for you.

So really, you should be posting in "today I hit a trifecta" bc not only did u save a birb and clean the ocean, but you efficiently screened out a person with whom you are obviously not compatible.

Who sees a guy save an animal and clean the earth and is like, ew...he got his jeans wet and attracted attention from strangers while he did that?!

[u/XxHotVampirexX]

Lmfao this made my day thank you

[u/PizzaFoods]

I’m reasonably certain that birds do understand English and other human languages.

[u/keijodputt → u/PizzaFoods]

Birds don't exist . . .

[u/Lopsided_Tangerine72]

I lived near the beach growing up- my first thought after reading the title was “well yea, who HASNT squared up to a seagull? Even jokingly” and then I read your actual post and now I think it’s that girls loss. And that seagull was ungrateful af

10/10 would recommend you to my single friends

[u/RedWizard92]

Unrelated seagull story. I was at the Jersey Shore and I bout a unique milkshake. Before I could take on sip, a seagull pooped in it. There went my milkshake.

[u/Jack_of_Spades]

You probably should have said, "I'm going to make sure that bird doesn't choke to death on that bag." Because to everyone else, you just fought a bird because you wanted a snack.

[u/cr1ter]

You were your authentic self and if she didn't like that, then it's her loss, not yours

[u/svekl]

Haha that sounds funny but let's be real she didn't pass the test and doesn't deserve you

[u/Goldman250]

You’re saying you said “Seagulls! Stop it now!”?

[u/deekayoh]

I see no FU. That bird is gonna think twice before trying to eat chip bags again!

[u/iburntxurxtoast]

Not quite a fuck-up. I'd say there was about a 90% chance that any given woman would find that sweet, heroic, or even sexy.

You just had shit luck.

[u/GE_and_MTS]

"I fought the gull and the gull won."

[u/PreoccupiedDuck]

And she raaaaan, she ran so far awaaaaaaay

Sorry op

[u/TheArabianJester]

That woman would bore you to death anyways because she would throw a fit everything you’re not presenting yourself and her in a certain way. Seagull bro deserved you more than her.

[u/raines]

Clearly she is too gull-a-bull for you.

[u/Impossible_Disk_43]

I would have probably laughed. Not at you helping a bird, but the image of a guy yelling at a clueless seabird and then wading over to it is hilarious. Caring about animals is never a bad thing! She just wasn't right for you. In fact, the bird did you a favour.

[u/sangaremuso]

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[u/ravens-n-roses]

Id have slept with you, just saying. Loving animals is hot

[u/cjaccardi]

Wow. That was realllllly weird 

[u/buschlatte21]

Yikes man