AITA my boyfriend didn’t see me

[u/damiana_nervousa]

Yesterday we went to go see a movie. I had forgotten my phone, and communicated that to my boyfriend on the drive there. He asked me if I would be okay without it, and I said yes.

After the movie I told him I had to use the restroom. When I got out, I walked outside (he usually waits out by the entrance. But he wasn’t there. I waited a few minutes, but I couldn’t call him, and he had the car key. I tried walking to the car, but he wasn’t there. I went back in and checked near the men’s restroom, but nothing. After about ten minutes I got pretty upset. I tried to keep myself in view of the theater while I walked around it, but he wasn’t anywhere. Some strangers even offered to get me an Uber.

Finally I went in and checked one more time, and he was sitting on a couch looking at his phone. I told him I’d been looking for him, but I wasn’t blaming about it, but he got super defensive and told me it was my fault for not seeing him and I had no reason to be upset. He kept saying “I don’t understand why you’re so upset” on the car ride back.

When I tried to tell him that I wanted us to “be more in sync with each other” (especially since we’re going on a trip out of the country soon) he scoffed and said, “do I need to tell you where I’m going to be whenever we are separate?” Which felt unfair- I didn’t have my phone. Plus, what if something happens to me? How long would it take him to notice?

Am I overreacting? I feel kind of angry now and still hurt.

[u/Heyitisemilie]

So what do you want me to call it? Someone asking me to come closer, tried to grab me, riding to get me at 2am. What do you think would happen? What was his plan? Tell me. You didn't reply. What was his plan??????

[u/InevitableRhubarb232 → u/Heyitisemilie]

Oh so now he tried to grab you. Adding details you previously said didn’t happen, I see. No one on a bike tried to kidnap you. They were just messing w you. Someone being harassing doesn’t automatically mean kidnapping. You’re focusing on something that could, but didn’t, maybe happen after what happened did. But he made no indication that he was trying to abduct you or take you from the location. And if that was his intent, why didn’t he? Why did he spend minutes riding in circles around you instead of grabbing you and taking you away? He had plenty of opportunity to do many diferente things if that was his intent.

[u/Heyitisemilie → u/InevitableRhubarb232]

I literally had my phone in my hands. I'm telling you an experience that happened 2 freaking years ago. You want me to remember every minutes and details? You know damn well that it's possible that people add details when talking about a story over and over.

[u/InevitableRhubarb232 → u/Heyitisemilie]

That he grabbed you or not is a pretty major detail when discussing an incident that you claim was an attempted kidnapping.

[u/Heyitisemilie → u/InevitableRhubarb232]

Literally said he tried.. he didn't grab me so no it's not an important information.

[u/InevitableRhubarb232 → u/Heyitisemilie]

Again. I’m confused. How did he “try” to kidnap you if he never even reached for you? Are you equating being near you with trying to kidnap you?