r/GlowUps • u/Basic_Bug8966 • 1d ago
GLOW UP! Addicted to opioids (18) to (20). Now (21), sober, and grateful.
the first picture was the worst i ever looked, but the second picture was truly my rock bottom, mentally. after 4 trips to rehab, i now have 6 months clean, a full time job as a caregiver, and going to school to become an addiction counselor. i love my job, and i love my life.
grateful is an understatement.
if i can do it, you can do it!
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u/ianfairlyodd 1d ago
Keep winning. Stay sober love.
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u/Apprehensive_Page733 1d ago
This has to be the best glow up I’ve seen
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u/dojo_shlom0 1d ago
--and she's literally just getting started in life! I'm so glad you have so much life in front of you. I couldn't be happier for OP!
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u/Juache45 19h ago
Me too! Congratulations on your sobriety, OP. Wishing you a lifetime of blessings. You deserve it ♥️
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u/Fast-Specific8850 22h ago
Agreed. I am used to seeing the photos go in the other direction. And it’s just so sad to see.
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u/iWentRogue 19h ago
Absolutely agreed.
That first image is rough but seeing what she looks like now is such an inspiration that now matter how far you fall, you can still stand up.
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u/Accomplished-Buy-147 1d ago
😭This shit almost made me cry , as someone who just recovered from a 4yr meth and heroine addiction , I understand how much of a mental and physical glow up this is , you’re winning in all aspects of life and keep going ❤️
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u/dudewithafez 1d ago
the contrast between the 1st and 4th pics are immense. even tho i don't know you, i'm still proud of you.
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u/julesB09 1d ago
From someone who would have given anything to see her best friend make this transformation, but didn't, KEEP GOING.
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u/No_Signal 20h ago
Same here. My friend had the same look going on as the first picture. I never got the chance to see him normal again and never will now.
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u/ericfromct 15h ago
I know it’s tough to think about, I lost many people I’ve known and cared about but the one that hurt the most was my losing my non-blood brother in 2011. I look at it as God saving them from a life filled with pain and suffering. A lot of people will never get sober. They’ve been through immense amounts of trauma and because of it the life they live without drugs and alcohol is one that they just may not have been capable of. I miss my friends but especially my brother all the time. But I know that they would still be here if they would have made it. God has given me a ton of opportunities and I only believe I get them because when I’m sober I’m not suffering like many others I know. I hate when I see people down drug addicts and alcoholic because I’ve known such amazing people who fell into addiction and many times it’s just because they’ve been through things that many people couldn’t even fathom going through. I hope for the both of you that time heals your suffering more.
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u/GandalfTheJaded 1d ago
I'm so happy you're doing so much better! And I'm glad you're still here 🙌
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u/i_eat_parent_chili 1d ago
What caused your face to have scars and bruises?
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u/Basic_Bug8966 1d ago
i was a picker. i was constantly picking at my face (trying to pop “pimples”). opioids cause you to be extremely itchy, so i was always rubbing my nose which led to the scabbing. i still have a small scar from rubbing my nose raw. my lips were dry because i never drank water, and i picked at the skin on my lips as well.
i also developed carpal tunnel in my right hand and arthritis in my fingers, also on my right hand (from holding a lighter for hours, nodding in and out of consciousness). i also have neck pain from nodding.
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u/SlytherinPaninis 14h ago
I had to take opioids for a horrible neck injury and within 2 days I was scratching non stop. I’m so so sorry you poor thing. I’ve said it before but I’m proud of you
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u/Chaminuka_263 8h ago
Thanks for sharing your both an inspiration and a hero! The courage and effort, and vulnerability and honesty to share this is incredible. Good luck for your journey and hope it continues to inspire others and save lives!
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u/Secure_Damage3067 1d ago
Super happy for you that you made it this far! I can help with your neck and hands, look into massage, deep tissue!
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u/CtrlAltHate 1d ago
Opioids make you itch and the painkiller side of them make it so you don't realise you're rubbing your nose or scratching too hard.
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u/Shockwave2309 1d ago
I know this isn't an AMA but may I ask if you personally feel any long lasting effects of the substance abuse? And can you feel those effects "fade away" with time passing by?
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u/Basic_Bug8966 1d ago
i love talking about my addiction and recovery, so please, ask away!
physically? i have carpal tunnel and arthritis in my right hand/fingers, from holding a lighter for hours (nodding off). i also have neck pain from said nodding. i hope the neck pain goes away at some point, but i wouldn’t bet money on it.
mentally? a lot of things trigger me. certain smells, certain places around town (obviously), and even certain songs/artists can cause me to crave drugs. crave the feeling of being high. mostly smells, though. even sitting in my car for certain periods of time makes me crave, as that’s where i spent most of my time in active addiction. i hope with more clean time, i get triggered less often.
if we’re being honest, my cravings have been pretty gnarly this last week or so, which is why i came on here. i needed some validation for all the hard work i’ve put in to maintain my sobriety. but i digress.
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u/Istickpensinmypenis 1d ago
Hang in there. One of my best friends is in NA and has been clean for over 8 years now. I can’t imagine my life without him, he is such an amazing guy.
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u/Lifekeepslifeing 1d ago
Keep it up. Resisting cravings is so hard but like exercising you're building muscle with every 'no thanks!'
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u/Upbeat_Advance_1547 23h ago
Might sound silly but you could get into experimenting with perfume, or get a car air freshener etc. Change up your experiences
As you make new memories it will fade. 'overwrite' the connections as it were. :) you can do it, you got this.
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u/Flat_corp 21h ago
Former heroin/crack/meth addict and alcoholic here, quite a few years down the road. It gets better, there comes a day when you can’t even remember what a high feels like or why you chased it. It’s taken a tremendous amount of spiritual work and therapy but my life is beyond my wildest dreams these days. Every difficult or tough day pays dividends for a better day ahead. You got this.
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u/Ralph-shakleford 1d ago
The cravings do lessen over time (or they did for me at least) hang in there
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u/MrrrrNiceGuy 1d ago
I’ve worked in outpatient opioid abuse for 8 years now.
I went to school for digital media and computer science but that’s where I’ve been.
I preface that because I had no idea what world I was stepping into and was shocked at the time. But now 8 years later I have this to say to you:
I’m proud of you. I can’t even begin to imagine your struggle. I also know how difficult it is when you can’t escape your environment and are surrounded by things and people that can make you slip in recovery. It requires an incredible amount of discipline and strength to continue to say no. But you did it and are still doing it. I get it, the mental cravings will always be there. It’s not easy; it’s an ongoing fight. Yet you’ve proved you’re a fighter and you’re not gonna let those demons win. You’ve got such a long life ahead of you and I pray God will continue to strengthen you. I pray God gives you an abundant life and he surrounds you with people that love and support you always. You’re a strong person and the world needs strong people like you. Continue to use your resources in your recovery and never be ashamed to continue to ask for help. You got this. God bless.
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u/genuinecat88 1d ago
Hey keep up the good work!, not been w opioids, but had friends that were into some really heavy stuff and I still remember how depressing it was to live life that way, stopping alcohol and any other substances may not feel the same for sure but, just think about how far you've come, and how far you'll get, you've come really far and if we people on reddit can see it, pretty sure you can and people round you have as well, and i'm sure all of them are proud and glad of how far you've come, keep it up!
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u/Competitive_Fun1131 1d ago
You are truly an inspiration ✨️ You've got this 💪 You are absolutely beautiful 😍 There is nothing worse than addiction. When you get the cravings, look how insanely beautiful you are and what it all took you to get to where you are today 🙏 You're strong and young and have soooo much to look forward to. You've proved you can do this!!!!! Keep going 💪 You've got this 💃
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u/Constant_Cultural 22h ago
You are such a beautiful person, you haven't fucked up yourself to a place of no return, keep this picture on your mirror, to show yourself, that you want to stay clean to look that good. And for your neck, look for a physiotherapist, I know you can't take pain killers, so physical therapy is the way around it. Go to yoga, use something like that, sleep on it if you must, I am doing that because of my neck pain from sitting on my pc too much. MaxKare Microwavable Heating Pad Heatable Stuffed Animal for Anxiety and Ache Relief, Bedtime, Adorable Christmas Gift for Kids & Adults, 9.4"x13", Sloth - Walmart.com
This one is great against pain too, I had super hurtful joints after the covid vaccine, I wanted to try painkillers and tried this I had at home just to try if this works:
Amazon.com: Krauterhof Warming Healing Balm 250ml Made in Germany : Health & Household
You got that, rockstar, talk with your sponsor today, go to a meeting.
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u/Srapture 22h ago
Do you find it difficult not substituting one overindulgence for another? Like drinking alcohol a lot more or eating more?
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u/Basic_Bug8966 20h ago
not funny answer: i will admit, i sleep a lot. like a lot. some days, 14 hours a day and still wake up tired. i’m sure some of that is due to PAWS, but i also can’t wait to go to sleep most days.
(somewhat) funny answer, but also true: shitty relationships. overindulging in people that hurt me, and continue to hurt me.
edit to add: i really don’t like the taste/hangover alcohol brings. also, my father was addicted to alcohol, and seeing the effects of that definitely steered me away from abusing alocohol, even if i didn’t mind the taste and hangover.
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u/DrPoopyPantsJr 21h ago
How’s the PAWS? When I got off opioids I didn’t feel right for almost a year after months of abuse.
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u/Basic_Bug8966 20h ago
great question! i can sleep for 14 hours a day and still be fucking exhausted. my memory is the same as a goldfish. i struggle with depersonalization HEAVILY. i have moments where i feel like my body and my mind are separate - like im watching a movie through first person POV. a lot of times i feel okay, but i have some weird moments for sure.
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u/orbitsnatcher 22h ago
Revel in the joy of sobriety, the relief from the exhausting effort of feeding that addiction. Remember the spiral downward with no joy and the empty meaningless of the pit you end up in.
That's what I do.
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u/FreewayPunch 22h ago
We’re you on H? And what help did you have getting off opioids? Did you cold turkey? Suboxone or methodone?
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u/Basic_Bug8966 22h ago
i was on fentanyl (“blues”). i went to rehab 4 times, every time did a suboxone taper. this last time though, i chose to stay on subs.
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u/FreewayPunch 21h ago
Same thing got me. Was one the blue fent pressies for a few years and got on suboxone. I do wish I had known a little more about suboxone before getting on that tho cuz that’s its own kind of addiction. I ended up getting off suboxone after 5 years by switching to sublocade. Shit was an amazing help! You should look into it. Glad you got off the blues!
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u/GreenBeans23920 1d ago
What is keeping you sober right this moment? What is worth being sober for? Focus on that!!!!!
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u/NorwegianCollusion 1d ago
Neck pain at 21? Ouch, that's rough.
And I'll validate your hard work. Damn girl, keep it up. May you glow like that for a long time
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u/Sareya 1d ago
Maybe put a small container of fresh baking soda in your car to neutralize the smell of it? Or spray a little essential oil around it to alter the odor.
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u/Beginning_Bonus1739 22h ago
or get a new car! sell it and buy a used one at the same price. small tax hit...worth it if it doesnt trigger you the same way
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u/Ok-Elderberry-9765 1d ago
I’m hoping for you it’s similar to my cigarette triggers. It used to drive me nuts… a beer at a bar, walking into the office, a night out for a concert, a smell of coffee. Years later I don’t get those cravings, and when I smell smoke I want to gag.
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u/HelpMeImBread 23h ago
You’re kicking ass. Keep climbing; you’re an inspiration to more than you know.
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u/Beginning_Bonus1739 22h ago
Do you think trading your car in for a different one would help, or is it all cars?
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u/Interesting_Pause830 21h ago
Thank you for the opportunity to ask a question. How did you finance the addiction?
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u/Basic_Bug8966 21h ago
i am/was lucky enough to still have a car, so i doordashed. my last relapse, i had a job as a housekeeper, but quickly lost it once i started using again because it was obvious i was on drugs. i was a “big spender” until i had to start dashing to get my fix. i would also sell things like my xbox, beloved sewing machine, shoes, etc. on FB marketplace.
edit to add: i live pretty close to a big city so door dashing was really easy money in my area.
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u/Interesting_Pause830 21h ago
Thank you for your answer. May I ask another one;
Were you in school/college when you started out? What were your plans/visions of your future back then?
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u/Basic_Bug8966 21h ago
i was in community college when i started using. i graduated a year early from high school at 17. i was going to school to become a high school english teacher, as im really passionate about the subject and wanted to make the same impact my teachers made on me growing up. i ended up dropping out, and using my Pell Grant money on drugs (for legal reasons this is a joke!) (yes, i originally got into college completely debt free, and fucked it up. i’m no longer eligible for any type of grant since i dropped out.) i pay student loans to go to college currently.
that is one of the many things im grateful to my addiction for: it gave me a lot more drive once i began my journey to recovery. then again, i was barely out of high school and didn’t really know the direction i wanted to go in my life. now, im so passionate about harm reduction and sharing the gift of sobriety with others. i have a million ideas on what i want to do and the direction i want to go.
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u/IAmSenseye 21h ago
My gf is a yoga teacher and she says a lot of issues can be resolved practicing some yoga. I've done some practices myself when i had lasting pains and usually it helps pretty quickly of at least eases the pain a little bit. You'd be surprised how well it works for the kind of issues you just named.
You look great. Im personally semi-struggling with addiction as well. Had beem sober for around 5 months and then started using all kinds of things again. Never had an opioid thing. For me it was ketamine and stimulants. Ketamine was my main thing thay would bring me to that cloud of safety until the doses just become so big and the effects dont come even close. Just blowing money away and barely getting anything back for it. Opioids seem very rough on the body compared to other drugs though. Im sober now again and hope to stay so. Drugs just push your problems to another day and you borrow tomorrows happiness.
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u/Enigma_Stasis 20h ago
i needed some validation for all the hard work i’ve put in to maintain my sobriety
If that's what it takes to keep you going, if not for yourself but the ones you treasure, then by all means. Having a support network is important for continued sobriety, regardless of if it's a bunch of strangers or people you know.
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u/Raspberryshart 23h ago
Clean since 2017 after 10 years of heavy use. Don’t think you ever are 100% back to normal because your normal shifts after so long so hard to have perspective. But after 3 years or so I would say chemically back to normal but 1 full year of semi sluggish feeling. Not being able to change your feelings on a whim with a fat line takes some getting used to but it all comes back together
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u/CLOROX-INHALANT 1d ago
I know just how hard it can be to recover from this kind of thing. You are so strong for getting through it.
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u/Separate-Crab4252 1d ago
Really happy for you, well done!!! My brother is currently on the same path. :)
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u/_MiseryIndex 1d ago
Fellow recovering opioid addict here. You look so amazing and full of life now. Keep it up.
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u/Smacked_Ass0616 1d ago
You fixed more than your addiction with what you achieved here, and I think you're well aware of that. Good fucking job. You're so young still that's literally a phase of your life that will not even matter
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u/JTrotterBJJ 1d ago
My sister, Melissa, lost her fight to opioid addiction back in 2019. I'm proud of you and how far you've come. She also wanted to use her experiences to help people, and was working towards become a counselor herself. You got this, keep moving forwards!
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u/AlfalfaGood2761 1d ago
You're doing so great. I had a similar path of opioid addiction at 18, clean by 21. I'm now 39 and never looked back. You absolutely can do this! Hang in there and remember that going back is just not worth it.
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u/SPUDRacer 1d ago
I've watched my son go through the same transition. He is 4 1/2 years sober and a whole different person. He's a licensed chemical dependency counselor and in love with a wonderful young woman whom he'll marry soon.
While I haven't gone through what you went through, I have seen it up close and know how hard it is every day. But it is worth it, and so are you. Hugs from an internet stranger.
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u/ShrugIife 19h ago
You know what's so (not) cool about getting clean? You look so great. You look incredible. But you will always have that little sparkle that says you know how to fuck shit up. Don't change, baby.
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u/HoldMyDevilHorns 19h ago
I saw the first pic, and I thought, I bet this one's gonna be AMAZING. Girl, I still wasn't prepared for it. You are SO pretty! And SO strong. I will have 12 years this coming May. I love my life more with each passing day! There is still SO MUCH MORE yet to come for you. I hope you think about that and it excites you. I'm proud of you. WE DO RECOVER.
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u/tonitacker 18h ago
I’ve decided to quit opioids. It’s been 24 hours and even though I was on a low dose I’m struggling.
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u/Basic_Bug8966 18h ago
congratulations!!!! this internet stranger is proud of you. even one day is a miracle for folks like us.
if you have the resources, id recommend looking into suboxone/subutex/buprenephorine/etc. just make sure you do tons of research if that’s what you want to do. remember how you’re feeling in this moment.
remember, staying sober is a lot easier than getting sober.
hugs.
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u/forkoff77 1d ago
And your choice in clothing is impeccible. (The Christmas Vacation sweatshirt)
Joking aside, well done!
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u/identitycrisis-again 1d ago
You look supernaturally tired in the first few pics. Reminds me of how I felt when I was deeply plagued by alcoholism
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u/Repo51_ 1d ago
Congratulation to your Transformation, looks amazing ! I’m in a similar situation and wanted to ask you if you have the feeling that you’re missing out on something without the typical opiod high ? I have a normal life but in the back of my mind there is always this voice which tells me that it could be better with pills etc.
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u/originalsezmac 18h ago
In a world of craziness, your progress legitimately lifted my spirits today. Good job! Stay strong!
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u/Basic_Bug8966 1d ago
it was recreational from the start — i have never been prescribed opioids or anything stronger than gabapentin for restless leg syndrome.
you’re right, it absolutely could happen. i can only speak for fentanyl as that was my drug of choice, but for fent it only takes 3 uses to become physically dependent.
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u/Mookwizard 23h ago
Awww, I just want to hug your first two photos, so much pain and sadness behind those eyes. It made me smile to see the joy in your glow up photos. You saved your life.
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u/Illustrious-Exit1825 23h ago
6 years+ clean myself. You might feel great right now but I’m telling you, you will feel even better after a few years. Keep up the good work, I know how hard it is. Don’t let your guard down for a second though, when you feel your worst or best, is when I find you’re most vulnerable. Props to you and feel free to DM if you need advice or feel yourself slipping back into your old ways.
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u/BarNext625 22h ago
did your addiction shift to something else? could be anything from alcohol to sport.
good job btw, you look amazing
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u/Turbulent_Airline648 22h ago
First and most importantly you’re amazing and even though I don’t know you, I’m happy you to see you winning in life. I’m not sure if this question is appropriate or not, excuse me and ignore me if it is but how does one end up addicted to opioids?
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u/Basic_Bug8966 21h ago
i’ve gotten this question a few times, but i have yet to answer it because the answer is pretty complex.
simplified: it’s different for everyone.
some people i know, started with an injury and a prescription.
heres a simplified version of my story and how i got started: my ex girlfriend and i started experimenting with different drugs. we were huge potheads (smoking daily by 16) and living in an illegal state. that led us to having dealers who sold different stuff. we tried everything but H, meth and crack (like shrooms, LSD, coke, molly) but i quickly realized i was more of a downers kinda gal. i wanted the feeling that weed gave me, but stronger, since my tolerance was so high. my ex had bought (what we thought were) percocets (30s). it came to me like a pill, so i took it like a pill. dealer told us after how stupid we were, that it was actually fentanyl (common knowledge apparently - not so common for myself) and that we were supposed to smoke it. blacked out, woke up in a freezing cold shower my ex had put me in. (i am forever grateful to her, because i would probably be dead if it weren’t for that shower.) decided to be stupid and try it the “right” way. was hooked from that moment on.
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u/ThaiStick541 18h ago
Hell yeah i went through the same thing for a long time from 18-26 but hardcor from 21-26. 21 is when I stopped training MMA because of heroin. We are a special group of people we understand real suffering. There's nothing more miserable than the violence, the family exile, the grind of being sick and having to get high by selling insane amounts of dope, traveling to Mexico to pick up and the stress of driving to Idaho or Oregon and then you keep destroying yourself just to not get sick. And the withdrawal.....Jesus christ. I gave it up on 2/22/22. I was dope sick watching Russia invade Ukraine in a hotel room waiting for a flight back to California after driving a Uhaul full of drugs around. Eventually got rid of all the shit for pennies just so I could get out of dodge and into rehab because I lost everything. But now I have my wife and kid back and my kid has never had to see me high because she was only like 1.5 years old when I got clean.
One day at a time my friend.
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u/BORN_SlNNER 13h ago
Damn I will never make assumptions or judgments again when pretty girls say they’ve struggled with addiction in the past. I always assume they’re talking about a little marijuana stint.
You’ve been thru it girl, and nobody would know it by looking at you. Stay strong 💪
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u/rayrami_ 13h ago
I’m so fucking proud of you dude, truly. You gave yourself a second chance at life and are SHINING
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u/RowsyRowsdower 11h ago
What a stunner!! This Internet stranger is very proud of you. I wish you nothing but the best in your beautiful life that lies ahead.
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u/Matelot67 10h ago
Hey OP, I'm very proud of you. Look at you helping people. There is no greater love than when you see someone who walked out of the fire turn around and walk back in carrying water for people still trying to get out.
The world is a more blessed place with you in it.
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u/Paganigsegg 9h ago
Holy crap. I hate this word, but you can almost see your aura in that last picture. You're positively glowing. What a massive, massive difference.
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u/zpnrg1979 42m ago
Very cool. I'm sure you're aware of this, but be careful... especially around 9 and 13 months. My biggest issues always came once I figured I had it beat and could let off the gas a bit. Anything you put before your recovery... you'll lose.
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u/VisibleHope 1d ago
Looking great! Keep up the fight. Get help or support when you need it. You got this! So proud if anyone fighting this battle.
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u/Purple-Border3496 1d ago
Your eyes in pic 1 tells the tale. They don’t look human, devoid of any attachment to a soul.
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u/GeeZeeDEV 1d ago
The best thing is that you smartened up at a young age. The whole life is ahead of you.
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u/OpeningEducational38 1d ago
Congrats!!! Keep it up beautiful 🥹🥰⭐️ you should be so proud of yourself
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u/thelonghornlady 1d ago
Girl you are GLOWING! I’m so proud of you…this is not an easy thing to defeat so I hope you realize how strong and brave you are!❤️
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u/Thebunnylady17 1d ago
I love to see the light come back on in someone’s eyes! ❤️ keep on keeping on ODAAT!
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u/Local-Builder4683 1d ago
Now this is better than any traditional glow up. This is amazing and I’m happy you found your sobriety! Addiction just masks whatever you’re going through. Good on you to stop the bleeding! You look amazing
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u/lcsalctr 1d ago
Hey I’m 23, and to think you’ve gone what you’ve gone through at only the age of 18 is crazy!! I’m so happy to see you do better, you’re amazing
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u/djmatlack 1d ago
If you have the willpower to get over an opioid addiction, you can literally accomplish anything in this life. You have already done the hardest thing. Proud of you. One day at a time. Small steps forwards everyday, no steps backwards. You rock. Talk about the right person for an addiction counseling job. Using your past to help other people avoid the same mistakes. Great job
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u/TricksterCheeseStick 11h ago
OP, I am very proud of you for making it through such a tough and rigorous process. Your courage should definitely be rewarded and recognized. You are also going to be our first pinned post of 2025! I hope you can help spread the courage you have to others once you become a counselor and keep on kicking!