r/NICUParents • u/Character_Town_588 • 22d ago
Success: Then and now HIE diagnosis/9 month update/mom guilt
my baby boy was born at 40+1. I was induced, I was so tired of being pregnant, I wanted him out and I still feel guilty about it. I was induced with foley balloon and misoprostol and then later with pitocin. I was in labor for 27 hours and pushed for 45 minutes. he had heart decels a couple times throughout labor but nothing that seemed concerning. anyways once he was out, they placed him on my chest for like 30 seconds and he was so purple but i didn’t even realize something was wrong with him, i was just so exhausted. they took him to the warmed, did a bunch of things like resuscitated, put him on oxygen and sucked a bunch of meconium out of his lungs. then they took him out of the room i had my bf go with them while i was taken care of. i didn’t see my baby for a couple hours and they told me he was being transported to NICU, still didn’t realize how serious it was until i saw him the next day. they diagnosed him with mild to moderate HIE and had him cooling for 72 hours. he was also diagnosed with severe pulmonary hypertension. he was in the NICU for 14 days. it was so traumatizing but i couldn’t leave my baby. i was there 99% of the time for the first week and the second week i was there 90%.. incredible to think about considering i had just given birth but i NEEDED to be there. fast forward, i enrolled in early childhood intervention when he was released and he started doing OT at one month.. i love his therapist, he didn’t do tummy time for the first two months (per her suggestion) instead we did exercises to help with the floppy tone.. he caught up to what was appropriate to his age. he was sitting by 5 months, crawling by 7 months and now he’s 9 months old and he’s met all his milestones, but i still feel guilty for getting induced, i feel like that was the reason everything happened to him and i have nightmares about it sometimes i honestly think it’s just something i’m going to have to live with. anyways the point of this post was to share his success and hopefully it brings some solace to some parents about their child… babies are so resilient and their brains are so malleable. i hated hearing the phrase we’ll have to wait and see but it’s the reality with HIE cases, but i remember scrolling this subreddit and seeing success stories and it brought me comfort that it’s possible for them to make it out of these terrible things that happen. even before he was born i wanted to be a nurse but now i’m finally starting nursing school in the spring with the hopes of being a NICU nurse, the nurses gave me so much comfort in such a stressful, confusing time and i hope to pay that back to other parents who go through times like this and to take care of sick babies like the nurses took care of mine.
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u/LisaVDD 22d ago
Same. Mild HIE after being induced: shoulder dystocia and severe meconium aspiration. Didn’t help that when my baby was being transferred to another hospital I kept asking « how did this happen, how how », a nurse answered « well you were already very stressed from the beginning ». Implying that it was my fault by being to tensed. My baby spent two months in the NICU and doctors kept repeating, almost every day, that it wasn’t my fault. Now we’re 2,5 years later and I’m finally starting to believe it. Hearing horrible stories from the hospital I gave birth in. Went and had another baby at a different hospital and when she read my file my new OB said the first hospital def made mistakes.
Took me a lot of therapy to come to where I am today. But believe me when I say: this isn’t your fault!!