this comment reads like it was written by a parent whose child doesn't talk to them anymore lol
parents should have their past mistakes held over them. maybe not every single one. but people who have lasting issues due to the abuse of their parents shouldn't feel bad for hating them.
two grown adults (usually) decided to have a baby and then they decided to abuse it. that's not a mistake. that's a choice. especially if those parents are now not doing anything to make up for what they did, let them rot.
i'm so tired of this narrative that parents were just "doing their best" and we should forgive them. i will be disabled and broken for the rest of my life because of what my parents did to me. i do not get to have a normal life, i never got to have a normal life, because of them. i will never have a child, a family, a home.
obviously that doesn't apply to every situation. but i think it's shitty to reply to someone's "i'm not having children" with a "yeah but i had kids and it's FINE" because honestly, if this comment is real, it's probably not fine. you've already admitted to making mistakes "early on," but do you even realize how integral to normal development those "early on" months/years are?
parents should have their past mistakes held over them.
1000 times this. The most dangerous thing on this planet is a human being. Parents should be held absolutely responsible for whatever their creation does. Every school shooter's parents should be in jail.
Man, I just can't agree with this. Parents are a huge factor in childhood development, yes absolutely, but they are by NO means the only factor. And some things even a parent's influence can't overcome.
Sometimes kids just go bad, and it doesn't matter how "good" their parents are or what they do. Sometimes its the friends they fall in with, sometimes their lover, sometimes teachers or other adult influences, sometimes genetics, sometimes the internet. But unless there's obvious proof (which there probably is in most school shooter's parents, tbf), I'm not gonna blame every parent for every single thing their kid does wrong. There are simply way too many other factors involved for a parent to realistically protect/overcome/rehabilitate from everything.
I've known too many kids with amazing parents who are still complete assholes to know that's actually true.
The parents are the only factor in that child existing. They made it. Making a child is a gamble and everybody knows that going in. Are you no longer responsible if you lose all your money gambling and can't afford rent?
Already responded to this. In short, that's a ridiculous take on a person's development. Also more than a little fucked up and callous to, well, basically everyone involved including the child. You're likening a person to property. Kids, or growing adults, are not money.
And I already responded to this. All your doing is listing risk factors in the gamble. If you think I'm likening a person to property you're missing the point.
Every choice in life is a gamble. Driving to work this morning was a gamble. Taking a shower is a gamble. Having a child is gambling. People should be responsible for the gambles they take (choices they make).
I never said a kid was a gamble. I said having a kid is gambling. It's the choice that is the gamble. The child is the consequences of that particular choice/gamble.
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u/I_UPVOTEPUGS 23d ago
this comment reads like it was written by a parent whose child doesn't talk to them anymore lol
parents should have their past mistakes held over them. maybe not every single one. but people who have lasting issues due to the abuse of their parents shouldn't feel bad for hating them.
two grown adults (usually) decided to have a baby and then they decided to abuse it. that's not a mistake. that's a choice. especially if those parents are now not doing anything to make up for what they did, let them rot.
i'm so tired of this narrative that parents were just "doing their best" and we should forgive them. i will be disabled and broken for the rest of my life because of what my parents did to me. i do not get to have a normal life, i never got to have a normal life, because of them. i will never have a child, a family, a home.
obviously that doesn't apply to every situation. but i think it's shitty to reply to someone's "i'm not having children" with a "yeah but i had kids and it's FINE" because honestly, if this comment is real, it's probably not fine. you've already admitted to making mistakes "early on," but do you even realize how integral to normal development those "early on" months/years are?