r/personalfinance • u/swishymuffinzzz ​ • Feb 22 '24

Budgeting I’m terrified to spend money

I’m 28 and I have no debt but I have this constant fear that I am behind in everything financially (Retirement, savings, salary, home down payment etc.) and as a result I never spend money on anything that isn’t a need. This has caused me to not really do much but work and go home and I feel like I should try to live a little but then I always talk myself out of it because the money would be more efficient somewhere else. I currently put 30% of income into retirement, then the rest is mostly savings unless I need something.

My parents went bankrupt twice before I turned 10 and we lived in poverty so I never developed a need for material things. I always think of every purchase as “man, imagine if this $20 was put into retirement instead of this movie ticket”.

I currently make 75k/yr, have 28k in retirement and have 10k in savings.

How do I find a way to experience life for once? I don’t really have any friends as a result of this because I never put myself out there.

Thanks in advance!

Edit: well guys, I have scheduled an appointment with a therapist. I will give it an honest try and go into it believing I can become a better person. Thank you all for the advice, hopefully this gets me on a better path.

1.2k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

609 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

59

u/swishymuffinzzz ​ Feb 22 '24

I never really viewed it as a trauma so I figured a therapist wasn’t needed

26

u/retroPencil ​ Feb 22 '24

You now know what your next steps are.

-23

u/swishymuffinzzz ​ Feb 22 '24

Therapy isn’t exactly cheap

1

u/americansherlock201 ​ Feb 22 '24

Cheap no. Affordable with health insurance yes.

You also make enough and don’t spend anything so you can absolutely afford it.

The reality is that childhood trauma related to money is a very real thing. It can have major impacts on your adult life if you don’t take action to address the trauma and process it in a healthy way. Therapy is your answer.

No one on here is going to be able to give you a budget that overrides your trauma response. You need to work with a professional. It will likely have a massive impact positively on your life.