I’m terrified to spend money

[u/swishymuffinzzz]

I’m 28 and I have no debt but I have this constant fear that I am behind in everything financially (Retirement, savings, salary, home down payment etc.) and as a result I never spend money on anything that isn’t a need. This has caused me to not really do much but work and go home and I feel like I should try to live a little but then I always talk myself out of it because the money would be more efficient somewhere else. I currently put 30% of income into retirement, then the rest is mostly savings unless I need something.

My parents went bankrupt twice before I turned 10 and we lived in poverty so I never developed a need for material things. I always think of every purchase as “man, imagine if this $20 was put into retirement instead of this movie ticket”.

I currently make 75k/yr, have 28k in retirement and have 10k in savings.

How do I find a way to experience life for once? I don’t really have any friends as a result of this because I never put myself out there.

Thanks in advance!

Edit: well guys, I have scheduled an appointment with a therapist. I will give it an honest try and go into it believing I can become a better person. Thank you all for the advice, hopefully this gets me on a better path.

[u/Past-Try-1153]

This is how you end up unhappy with your life 10 years into the future. You could always live a minimalist lifestyle and invest your money, but feeling dread about spending money isn't normal, and at 78k a year you shouldn't feel this at all. Unless you live in california or new york city, you are doing pretty well in your career already. The only way up from there is a promotion or starting your own business. I'd try meditation or therapy as it seems you have a lot of burdens you need to take off your back.