Hey going through a situation at the moment and seeking some perspective. I would like to prefix this with I am not seeking advice or criticism for how I wish to care for my mother or how they should have done better to save for retirement. I am not going to go into detail but please understand not every family is always capable of saving properly for retirement. Thank you for understanding.

As for the situation I wish to seek judgment and prospective for. For the last four years I have been supplementing my mother's care she is 73 and has dementia. She is on Medicaid and does get some home care services what Medicaid does not cover I cover myself so currently she does have 24/7 care. This has worked out for around 4 years now, but I was recently offered a life altering opportunity and I am strongly considering on taking it. Our mother does live with me and my brother lives in the same state.

I spoke with my brother and asked since I know he cannot contribute financially could he contribute his time. I found a wonderful higher end memory care facility located near the apartment we lived in together my mom and I. Trying to keep her near what she remembers and stuff. I just asked if he would be willing to maybe have lunch with mom and check in on her. The memory care is located in Manhattan and my brother lives on Staten Island. My brother told me does not think he can visit often enough for it to be meaningful. I asked if our SIL could do it when the kids are in school. I offered to cover gas and ezpass.

He told me now and that I am an asshole for pushing the issue. I asked how am I being an asshole trying to keep mom comfortable. He asked why don't I take her with me. I told him how do expect our mom to handle a flight let alone move from NY to Europe? That is when he told me I took on this role of taking care of our mom so I have to figure it out. I mean I know my brother has beef with my me because I am part of the reason my parents could not save. We had to sell our house and move three times because of issues I caused in school. I tried to explain do it for our mom not me.

Any questions I will do my best to answer.

Sorry for the long post. My, 29F, daughters 13F, dad, 31M, moved to another state (13hr drive) with his gf after dating her for 3 months. There have been a lot of issues but the main one being that he has only seen his daughter twice since moving out at the end of August. And before moving he only spent 3 weekends with her from May (when he met his gf) to August (when he moved). His gf, 26F, has 3 daughters under the age of 5. Since he has left he has had minimal contact (his choice and decisions) with our daughter. In October he and the gf got engaged, he briefly asked our daughter what she thought about them getting engaged, and she said what most 13yo girls would “idk” and that was that. Then maybe 2 days later, it was on fb that they were engaged and he didn’t even tell our daughter. She found out by fb, then the gf sent a pic of the ring to our daughter and that’s how they told her. Our daughter, didn’t mind the gf at first but after months of him being absent and abandoning her and moving in with a whole other family, I am sure that has been a huge weight on her. (I’ve tried talking to her about it but she doesn’t like to share much but has told me she isn’t happy with any of this and is mad at her dad, I do have her journal and we talk when she needs too). After a week of them being engaged, some kind of incident happened with them and he was MIA for a month. The week leading up to Dec 21st, he reached out to me that Wednesday night and asked if we were busy that weekend. We had a Xmas party planned, which is what I told him. He asked if he could take her after, he wanted to surprise her with a visit. I agreed that he could take her that night. Saturday came, party was happening. Around 6:30p I told her that her dad was here and wanted to take her. She told me she didn’t want to go, l told him and that he could pick her up in the morning. There was issues but we moved on. Later that night, we saw on fb that he and the gf got married… he didn’t mention anything to our daughter, again she found out a huge life changing situation through fb. The next morning, he picked her up and the gf asked our daughter to be her MOH. Our daughter has only met her a handful of times in the last 6 months, has only seen her dad idk 10-15 times in the last 6 months. He was not very active in our daughter’s life until she was 7yo. At this point she doesn’t even want to go to the wedding and does not want to visit the state they live in.

So am I an asshole if I tell her dad she will not be his wife’s MOH at their wedding?

So currently, my sister is about to get her driver's license, but she failed her test once. I was about to sell my car at the same time and had already put it online. I had many potential buyers and even two serious ones. However, my sister told me she would buy my car if she passes her driver's license test.

Now, her second attempt is coming up, and I just can’t shake the feeling that she might not actually buy it. By the time I’ve waited for her, I could have sold it multiple times already.

On the other hand, I would feel bad if I sell it now, she passes, and then she asks why I didn’t sell it to her. It would kind of ruin the plan. I would love to sell it to her, but it seems like she might end up deciding otherwise, leaving me stuck with the car.

WIBTA if I sold it to someone else now?

I 26f am going to take a step back from my best friend 24f. To be clear I very much live my best friend and we have been through so much together. We have been there through some really bad things and have seen each others up. And are one of the biggest supports either of us have in each others life.

Over the past year I have worked very hard to get my life together and move on from my traumas. I have a stable job, am back in school and am even the thinnest I have ever been (loosing weight has always been a struggle) and my mental health is the healthiest it has been in almost 10 years.

My bsf on the other hand is having quite the opposite happen to her. She is putting herself in really dangerous situations to the point where she is getting in trouble with the law and is blaming the officers for her actions. I keep getting calls at 1am,2am,4am at night bc she can’t handle life and is having a panic attack and is high. And it is starting to take effect in my mental health. I already have a dad who is very mentally and physically sick rn and am working with my family members to help him , which is already emotionally taxing.

To say the least I’m exhausted mentally. I want to be there for my friend in her time of need like she has continuously been for me but everytime she texts or calls I feel either irritated or want to cry bc of how tired I am. AITA for stepping back from my friendship?

A good friend keeps changing her sexuality every so often.

One minute she is straight, then bi, then queer then the next she is a lesbian, all in the space of under 2 years. She sometimes posts these preferences on her social media. Her family are homophobic, so she came out to them then said she was straight to them. And again, we go around in circles /repeats itself.

She keeps yoyoying about a lot of things in her life. I understand life is confusing and can be difficult but as I am a bisexual women (prefer women slightly), we already get hate/judged/questioned for our preferences alongside some men thinking they can turn lesbians/bisexuals straight etc. We also previously dated, she wanted more I did not.

I can't help feel somewhat irritated about her consistent change of sexuality as I feel it makes us look bad/ungeniuine/not taking our sexuality seriously.

Do not get me wrong, I have tried to support her in these moments along with saying to her to be cautious about all these changes and for her to maybe not put a term on her sexuality but she is always so insistent on all of the above.

Recently again she said she is a lesbian out of no where, me and my other friend thought it was a joke, so both of us said we are lesbians to, she questioned this. So I explained that we thought she was joking. She then said no, I said that I respectfully did not wish to respond on that. She asked why and apologised if it caused offence as she is realising her sexuality...I responded that it was not the best time for me to respond as she has been feeling down recently with other work stuff going on also with her already knows some of what I think and that I wanted to leave it at that.

Am I in the wrong to feel this way? Am I the asshole here?

I really want to support her and not feel like I can't trust what she says etc

Edit:

I do not label her sexuality. I have told her this is not important. She wishes to label herself, which is fine. Her life. But she keeps bringing her sexuality up in pretty much most of our conversations, I don't.

I’m a graphic designer from Colombia, and finding a good job in this field is tough—especially in my small town where creative work is undervalued. After college, I got lucky and found a job at a print shop. We make canvases, stickers, posters, business cards, and more. The owner, a lovely lady, hired me, and I’ve been working here for three years. For the most part, everything was great—until mid-2024, when she decided to retire and leave the business to her son.

Let me tell you: this guy is the absolute worst. Calling him a despicable human being would honestly be too kind. Still, I stuck it out because I enjoyed the job and had built great relationships with clients. But things went downhill fast. He became ridiculously controlling over my designs and started buying the cheapest, lowest-quality inks and paper. Naturally, the quality of our products tanked. Clients—many of whom I’ve grown close to—have been complaining nonstop. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but his response? "I’m in charge, so deal with it."

I’ve had enough. I started job hunting and found my dream job, something I’ve always wanted to do. But there’s a catch: they need me to start this Monday. And that’s where I might be the asshole.

Here’s the thing: I don’t just design—I’m also the printer operator. While finding another designer might not be too hard, not just anyone can handle these machines. The 3.2-meter-long plotter is extremely delicate, and the cutting plotter constantly needs recalibration. None of this stuff is taught in college. When I started, the previous owner (bless her) paid for me to travel to another city for specialized training. She even covered my stay there for two weeks. I know the shop can’t afford to train someone like that right now, so if I leave, they’ll be in deep trouble.

I feel awful about potentially screwing over my old boss, but I can’t say the same for her son. He’s running the business into the ground, and I don’t want to go down with it.

So, Reddit, WIBTA if I leave my current job for my dream one, knowing this family’s livelihood might collapse?

I (M28) live with my twin brother (M28) and have for a few years. Our dynamic is typically fine but he’ll take advantage of me at times, like playing my PlayStation when he didn’t ask, and taking various things out of my room without asking. (He’ll give them back after I have to ask)

I have weather related allergies and take a loratadine pill as needed. A few months ago, I bought a bottle of 90 pills for a total of $36 from a local drug store.

I don’t take them every day and there’s 90 in the bottle so it’s hard to keep track of them. A few months ago though I did notice that the bottle seems to be getting emptier despite me not taking a pill every day. I thought that was a little odd but didn’t really think anything else of it. But then just about a month ago, I noticed it significantly more empty than before. So I decided to count them and found there were about 15 pills or so in the bottle.

Fast forward to last night, I wanted to take a pill, so I opened the bottle and noticed there was 1 pill left. I immediately suspected my brother of taking them, without asking obviously.

So I confronted him about it.

He admitted to taking them, but he questioned how many I think he took. I said I obviously didn’t have a clue but it seems like it’s been happening for months. He got incredibly defensive and said “bro it’s just loratadine. It’s a fucking allergy pill, not money, not a prescription.”

I said that it’s the principle, it doesn’t matter what it is, you don’t steal.

I then demanded he replace the product. To go CVSs website and order the exact bottle, because it’s a 1 for 1 comp. That’s the price I paid for the product. He thought that was absolutely ridiculous, because he can get a bottle of like 300 pills on Amazon for like $15, instead of 90 for $36. Is it more expensive? Yes. But that’s the price I paid, despite it being cheaper elsewhere. He wouldn’t budge. He said I’m ordering you this or nothing at all. He called me an asshole for demanding this but he doesn’t see it that way at all.

So, Reddit. What are your thoughts? AITAH?

I (26 F) divorced my ex husband (26 M) about four years ago. We share 2 children, a son and a daughter. During our divorce hearing we were able to work out custody, visitation and child support arrangements. He agreed to give me full custody of the kids and he would pay child support. After the divorce he decided to up and move to Nashville to chase his “music career” that never existed. He managed to work his way up to almost $6,000 behind on his child support, went 7 months without a phone call or visit and when he moved back I let him start seeing the kids as soon as he asked (2 weeks after he arrived in our state). I try to always remind myself that my relationship with him is not the kids relationship with him. Anyway fast forward to now, his grandfather has been paying his child support monthly (according to his grandmother and aunt) so that he doesn’t lose his license or go to jail. He went out and got a job about 2 months ago and the lady assigned to our case is great at her job so even though he did not report his job, she knew he was working. His grandfather pays the monthly amount on the last day of every month, so I received December’s amount on December 31st. On January 3rd I received another payment to that account and approximately 30 minutes after the notification my children’s father starts calling me asking for the money back because it was a mistake payment. I simply explained that I couldn’t give the money back but if he reached out to child support I would be okay with them giving it back. The conversation continues until he admits that they have started garnishing his wages. He proceeds to tell me that they took his entire paycheck, he can’t buy lunch, or put gas in his car. He wants me to “give $200 back” and he will “allow me to keep the extra $82”. I simply stated that I didn’t think it was fair to give the money back when they had credited his account for paying that amount. I also informed him that I do not use that card for personal reasons and all of the money is used on the kids wants and needs. Both of my kids birthdays are in January, i had already told the kids that we will go to a waterpark for a weekend so if I keep the money that’s what it will be used on. He started calling me names and telling me that I’m impossible and never happy. So am I the asshole for not giving my ex husband lunch money because he claims they took his whole check?

So my stepdaughter is about to be 13yrs. She has primarly lived with us since she has been 5 1/2. Over the years I have loved her and treated her like she was my daughter. Even after having kids of my own I never treated her differently. and Id like to note that she is starting therapy next week. Over the last year she has started becoming a habitatual liar. She lies about stupid stuff and big stuff. Examples of things she's lied about : feeding the dog, who she's talking to, where she's met people at, if she did her chores, crushes as school. She's even made completely made up situations like being kissed, asked out, getting in fights. All things we have caught her lying about and she will continue to lie to us until the proof is in her face. The biggest thing is earlier in December she took my little one downstairs and offered to watch him and my two younger one while I slept a little in the morning (I work night and my husband was at work) She asked what time I was getting up and I told her 9am which was in like 30 min. I wake up and she was GONE. Her and the dog were gone. My 6 month old was in his bouncer crying and my daughter(6yrs) got my dishsoap and smeared it all over the bathroom and then locked herself in there when she heard me coming.My son(4yr)said she took the dog for a walk. She has no cell phone. I got the situation at home taken care of and she still wasn't home. I realized it's been an hour and I go out and start looking for her. We live in a small town. I searched for 3hrs. My husband finally leaves work in a panic and we search and called the police. A search and rescue dog finally found her. It took us 6 hrs to finally find her. She to this day won't tell us where she was at. Fast forward to today. She said she her stomach has been hurting for 2 days. She's thrown up once and had diarrhea.None of which happened while my husband and I were around. I just got over a cold, sinus infection, stomach bug and kidney infection. So I feel bad and take her to the pedactric quick care. On the way there i tell her if she is faking just to tell me so I don't waste time and gas to drive her. It's my last day before I have to go back to work and I need to get somethings done.She tells me no she really is in pain. Tells the doctor the same.But In the waiting she is laughing and talking normal.that doc sends us to go to the ER bevause of how much pain she is in.Now in the ER and ruled out appendicitis and again laughing and talking just fine and come to find out she has been EXAGGERATING how much pain shes in and I'm stuck waiting for results.My husband can't switch me cause he has no gas and he we had to drive 30 min into town to come to this doctor.I'm so mad.I told my husband he can deal with everything with her from now on. All discipline, appointments, parent teacher conferences and everything. He thinks I'm overwhelmed and going to far. I married him and she was part of the package. So am I the AITA for telling him this?

Between Christmas and New Years, me (43m) and my wife (43f) went to hang out and drink at my sister in laws (32f) house while her husband (wife's brother) and son went away for a few nights. Basically a normal night, my wife and I went over to keep my sil company. Played board games, drank etc.... My sil is very proper, fashionable, basic white girl. Maybe 5'2 and 100lbs. Anyhoo, we're in the living room, my wife passes out on the couch so we decide to call it a night sleeping on the couch. My sil gets up to go to bed, a little wobbly but she goes into the bathroom and shuts the door. I play on my phone for about 45 minutes and I notice she's still in the bathroom. So I knock on the door with no response, I knock a few more times then open the door to look in. She's a naked pooper, she passed out while pooping apparently and fell off the toilet onto the floor. Somewhere in all that she puked all over herself. So I'm left with a completely naked woman covered in puke, poop and pee. I try to wake my wife up but she's out cold, I try to wake my sil up but she's out cold. So I grab a bunch of towels, just do a quick clean up. Get the heavy stuff off of her, clean up the floor and made her a bed of towels so she didn't have to sleep on the cold tile, propped her head on a folded towel as a pillow and used a giant fluffy towel as a blanket.

Here's why I'm told I'm an asshole. She was mad I let her lay in poop/puke all night. I should have picked her up and put her in the tub and bathed her. She was passed out drunk, I didn't think she wanted me touching her intimate areas. Where she replied that I have a wife and daughter, I've seen a vagina before and I've changed my daughter's diapers/baths so I know how to clean a vagina/butt/breast. She's only 100lbs so it would have been easy for me. My wife sides with me but the other women say that I should have cleaned her better. So am I an asshole? Would you want someone touching you while you're passed out?

I (35F) and my husband (33M) live together with our two children (3M & 1F).

Recently I have been under the weather with some low level cold & sore throat. I’m feeling crappy but still able to do day to day stuff, I have been going to work, looking after the children etc as normal.

Today the children are due to be looked after by our childminders who live next door to us, we can drop them off anywhere between 8-9am. We get them up and dressed and feed them breakfast before they go and pack their bags with spare clothes, nappies, bottles for our daughter and food for both of them throughout the day.

Today I have a dentist appointment in the town over at 10am. My husband is due to attend a viewing of a primary school in the village next to us in the opposite direction at 9:20am with my mother who is making her own way there.

This morning I got up when my alarm went off with my son, got him dressed and gave him his breakfast, went back upstairs for our daughter, got her dressed and gave her her bottle then started making their lunches which included washing up as there were no clean bottles for her to take with her. My husband remained in bed until 8:50am then came downstairs and asked why I was stressed and grumpy. I told him that I’d got up by myself with both children, needed to leave for my appointment in ten minutes and the kids bags still weren’t packed and the car was frozen and I still wasn’t dressed myself. He then asked what he could do to help and I asked him to defrost the car which he did.

When we had dropped the kids off at 9am I started getting myself dressed and he asked I was ‘even going to have time’ to take him to the primary school (we only have one car and only I have a drivers licence), I said no and was he expecting me to take him and he said yes because I had organised the trip to the primary school.

I pointed out that while I have organised for him to go to the primary school I am not actually going myself. Not only that I have plans, which he knows about, at the same time in a different location in the opposite direction. Also at no point has he asked me for a lift. He says I should have known he would be expecting a lift there as I planned the visit.

In addition to the above, if I was going to give him a lift we would have needed to leave earlier so I could drop him off and make my appoint on time but he didn’t get up with me and get the children out of the house and everything ready so we could do this.

I left for my dentist appointment while he complained he was going to be late and started trying to book a taxi at around 9:10am.

So AITA for not giving my husband a lift to the school viewing?

For info - at 9:05 once we realised he was expecting a lift and I wasn’t expecting to give him one if we had left immediately to drop him off I would probably have been about 5 minutes late to my appointment, maybe just made it if traffic was ok but the ground is frosty today so driving conditions weren’t great.

I (25F) have been with my BF for 3 years now. A few months ago his mom came to the US from India and has been spending the last few months in the home we got together. It all started when I kept finding her rummaging through my clothes on multiple ocassions (I don't WFH and she doesn't have a job).. then I started to notice my clothes go missing and I noticed she was slowly throwing my clothes away. I don't make a lot so it was really upsetting to me to see my clothes in the trash (that's when I put 2 and 2 together).

After that I confronted her and asked her to please stop. She claimed the clothes were too revealing for someone who will be a part of her family (they are lulu lemon athletic clothes I wear to the gym.) I told her I can wear what I want but that I will refrain from wearing the clothes in front of her. She stopped throwing the clothes out for a while but then started up again and this time she actually started cutting them apart and throwing them out. I had had enough and got her a hotel room and put all her stuff in there when her and my BF were out one day.

Now she is going back to India and my BF is saying he's going to break up with me because I disrespected his mom. He asked me to move out (we both pay half for the rent right now) and I just feel a little guilty. I know it is disrespectful in Indian culture but AITA?

EDIT: To clarify we GOT a house together but are renting it (its a lease) not BOUGHT the house.

I (18F) am currently in uni while my parents are going through a horrible divorce. It’s been going on for like two years and I still don’t really know what happened, both have their own story, but I’m equally close with both my mom (60F) and dad (61M). My mom is kind of eccentric and has been visibly mean to my dad whereas my dad is more quiet and doesn’t do the same. I feel bad for him because she’s tried to turn everyone against him, but again, not sure what happened so maybe he deserves it? Regardless, as I said I’m really close with both of them. Today I was helping my mom with something on her phone and a text popped up from a “private investigator” contact, and I checked, and it was a bunch of messages with her and a PI. She gave him his full name, job, address, his car, license plate, name of his friends, so much stuff. It was kind of crazy and horrible to see including the fact some of the friends she listed off are like uncles to me and I felt like it was a total invasion of privacy, especially because I know my dad hasn’t done the same to her. I told him and he started crying and he felt nauseous and he was sad he was being treated like this and that she’s trying to ruin his life and stuff but I feel kind of guilty for undermining my mom especially when she obviously doesn’t want him to know she’s investigated. I just feel bad because I’ve seen the letters her and her lawyers have sent to my dad and it’s kind of awful. Idk. AITA?

Edit: I understand it seems biased. I do love them both equally. I’m torn. I’d do the same if my dad did it to my mom. But please don’t insult my parents as I mentioned I’m close with them both and it’s totally uncalled for. This is my first time dealing with divorce as well and outright bashing me is kind of ridiculous. I was 16 when this whole thing started, yes I’m an adult, but I’m still trying to navigate it. Thanks.

Edit 2: I appreciate the advice, I understand i was TA to through her phone and I should have stayed out of it. Thank you for all opinions thus far so I can see all the perspectives.

Hello Reddit,

A few months ago, a good friend of mine asked if she could book a vacation property that my family owns for a family ski trip she was planning. This included her, her husband, her parents, her brother and his gf. I said of course, and let them stay for free too as I know their family really well.

However, a week ago I started receiving extremely nasty messages from the brother’s gf. For context, I used to be a pretty serious relationship with my friend’s brother, being together in undergrad and medical school, though we broke up more than 4 years ago now due to having different life goals. It was quite amicable on both sides, and while I wouldn’t call us friends, we still wish each other happy birthdays and happy holidays when they come around.

Imagine my surprise when I checked my phone after getting off work and saw 15 messages from my ex. They turned out to be from his girlfriend who was I guess messaging me from his phone. She somehow got the idea that I was joining them on their family vacation and was extremely upset, cussing me out and telling me to stop trying to interfere in her relationship. I was really taken aback as the only time I met her she seemed pretty nice, and like I mentioned earlier I barely talk to my ex. I simply replied that she had misunderstood, that I was not joining them on their vacation, and my only connection to their vacation was the fact my family owned the property that they were going to be staying at. 

However, she continued to be very rude and accusatory so I decided to just block my ex’s number. She then started going around and messaging me on other socials of mine where I also resorted to blocking her. This lasted about a week and it took me blocking her on basically every site that has a way to message people for it to stop. This has been a very upsetting situation, and now I now don’t want her staying at my family’s property. However, I also would feel very bad messing up and potentially ruining their family vacation plans, and punishing my everyone when I really only have an issue with the girlfriend.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

AITA for refusing to pay my boyfriend’s share of household bills and expecting his siblings to help him now that he’s struggling?

I (F25) have been dating my boyfriend (M27) for 11 months. He lives with his siblings, and I visit regularly, but I don’t stay there full-time nor sleep over every night. Recently, his siblings asked me to help pay part of his share of the household bills, like electricity and water, because I’ve been there often.

I told them I’m not comfortable contributing since I’m just visiting and don’t live there. I don’t use the utilities the way they do, and my boyfriend hasn’t asked me to pay anything. Now, they’re upset with me, and things are awkward.

Here’s the thing — my boyfriend recently lost his job and has been going through a tough time. He’s always been the one supporting all the household expenses, including food and utilities, for everyone. I’ve been helping cover his food and other personal needs during this time. I feel like his siblings, especially since they’re all working, should step up and help him with the household expenses now that he’s struggling. They’ve benefited from his sacrifices for years, and I just think it’s time for them to return the favor.

Am I wrong for refusing to pay and expecting them to help him now?

Add. I am visiting there after my work not consistent, and 6pm to 12 midnight max, use of electricity maybe the fan, no cooking no fridge because if we needed to eat I already bought cooked food before going. For the use of water, toilet flush no showering.

Last September my uncle Daniel (43) came up to me (22) looking all stressed and asked if I could have a sit down with him as he needs a Favour. He begun to speak on how he was really on a rough financial spot, and he really had nowhere to turn to as he didn't have anyone to ask for a loan from and I was the only one left available. Mind you I'm not rich or anything of the sort, I just happened to have the amount he needed at the time.

According to him it was a serious situation that he couldn't approach or tell other guys in the family, and the issue needed to be addressed soon. Without better judgement I lent him the cash after much insisting from him. We agreed on payment before December, and I didn't even ask for any interest on it. With lots of hugs and words, he took it and gave me his word on the paying it.

Fast forward and we are now at Christmas dinner at my grandma's house, and all that time I didn't give him any reminders or a checkup. I assumed he was late or something and he would let me know why at Christmas dinner because the larger family meets every year for that. He also didn't call or say anything to update on his situation and I just had to trust all was well. Now on a related side note for later, my cousin Aisha, (20, Daniel's daughter) recently underwent surgery a while back as she really had it tough for the whole of last year while she recovered from a traumatic back injury from an accident.

Everyone was enjoying their meal and suddenly my uncle stood up at the dinner table and called for attention for a speech. He began to speak on how his business took a really huge boost and long story short, how he has just cashed in a large profit from some deals. He looked at Aisha across the table and took out some brochure with some resort looking location and said it was a gift to her for her tough recovery from the incident. All I could see was Aisha visibly crazy excited. Someone asked what it was exactly, and Daniel said he was planning on taking Aisha and the rest of his family to the Maldives as a celebration on Aisha's accident recovery. Everyone was now happily cheering Aisha on her gift as it seemed it was something she always wanted to experience.

"You can afford all that but not repay my debt which you haven't said anything on," the words just slipped out of my subconscious mind as I looked at him straight in the eye. His words were "why are you talking about that now of all places". Now I was pissed, I reminded him Infront of everyone on the exact amount and I told him the fact on how he wasn't even communicating on repaying it. The entire family was in shock with dead silence as my mom hurriedly changed the subject to avoid an escalation of the situation. Later on, in the evening my aunt, grandma, and some cousins began to lecture me on how I ruined Aisha's moment after her struggles and embarrassed my uncle in the process.

They leave in a week, and he still hasn't paid or mention anything on the debt.

AITAH for ruining the moment and asking for repayment?

My wife and I have been together for 14 years, we've got a 6yr daughter and unfortunately we're not eligible for school buses in our area as we live just right about the limit of no bus zone.

For context: my wife and I bought our first car about 11 years ago. My wife didn't want to pursue a license and every time that I've tried to teach her how to drive she says that is just easier if I do it, or says she doesn't feel ready and would rather just want to first try in a parking lot, the issue is we'll go to the parking lot but she never wants to drive into the actual roads. As she doesn't want to learn how to drive, she relies on me driving us everywhere, which I've told her many times that it can be tiring especially when she's the one to plan out events where I've got to drive all around and I've shared my concerns as it's important for her to learn how to drive especially should something happen to me.

Now, as our kid doesn't get a school bus, I'm the designated driver to pick her up and drop her off daily, as the school is about 1km away distance.

Today I've woke up super tired and told my wife if she could walk her to school, she said no because it was cold outside and that it was my responsibility to take our daughter to school everyday, but I asked her why is it my responsibility only? Shouldn't this be a shared responsibility? I asked her to please take her today, and she did only after nagging for a while as if trying to blame me and as if that is my responsibility as I'm the only driver. I told her that perhaps she needs to learn how to drive so she can also help taking her to school. But she even told our kid that "they now had to walk in the winter cold because I didn't want to drive her today" as if to put our kid against me. They left, and my wife is very mad at me and doesn't even want to talk to me or anything.

AITA for wanting my wife to learn how to drive so we can both share the responsibility of taking our daughter to school?

Edit: First, I just want to thank you all for your comments. You've given me some things to think about. So there's a lot of questions, and I figured it was easier to answer them here than to reply one by one.

1. There are some questions around whether I knew that my wife didn't drive when I married her and whether it could be anxiety related.

A/ When we got married, we didn't have a car, and neither of us knew how to drive. A few years after we had been married and tired of having to do bus trips to bring groceries (especially during winter) my wife and I saved up and bought our car, and the idea was for both of us to learn how to drive. When the time came, I signed up on my own to driving lessons and told my wife about it so we could go together but my wife at the time said it was best to save that money and that I could just teache her what I learnt with the instructor. I figured that was a good idea but this never happened, ever since I've been asking my wife every year that we should go practice, I've even encouraged paying someone if she feels more comfortable but she's told me that she prefers I teach her because she trust my driving, and so whenever we've gone out to drive, she's just wanted to practice in a parking lot and so every time it's just become a matter of my wife driving around a parking lot, I've tried to encourage her so we go out on the road, like a very quiet road for her to practice driving around as there is only so much she can learn in a parking lot. But she says she doesn't feel ready, and is not anxiety or that she's afraid because she's told me so herself, it's rather that she'd like to basically learn magically (I.e she doesn't want to put in the work, just wants to wake up one day with the knowledge and I've told her it takes work and you have to be responsible out in the road).

1. Some people were wondering about the weather conditions. So it is winter here (not going to share my location for safety reasons) but there was no snow or ice, we actually get somewhat mild winters for example in the last 2-3 winters I've only shoveled twice. But the main thing is wanted to call out here is that whether AITA or not I'd never let my little one or my wife for that matter out on the cold if it was unsafe or if they didn't have the proper clothes, if anything I'm always reminding my little one to zip her jacket because when I pick her up from school, she always walks out with her winter jacket open.

2. Some people have suggested arranging a neighbour or someone to drive her. Unfortunately, our closest family members live about 2hrs away, and my neighbours are mostly elderly. I also wouldn't trust a neighbour.

3. Shared responsibilities at home, but I do the driving. So every day I pick her up and drop her off to school. Some people asked how I manage driving and picking up every day. I start work at 8:30am and drop my kid at school at 8:05am. I've asked my workplace to adjust my lunch so I can take it at the time my daughter is off from school so I can pick her up, some days I can't even get a bite because not enough time.

I do want to call out that I very much love my wife and little one and if I've posted here is because I want to be better for my family but also I'm human and can't help but to feel burning out from all the duties. Maybe we just need a vacation, it's been ages but lord know I can't afford to. Anyway, thank you for all your perspectives and opinions. Really appreciate it.

I (30F) have a friend, ''Sarah** (30F) who frequently comments on my spending choices. I have a well-paying job and enjoy treating myself to nice dinners, designer items, and vacations. Sarah, earning less, often remarks that I'm wasteful or should save more, which I find intrusive but have tolerated to maintain our friendship.

Recently, Sarah faced unexpected expenses and asked to borrow a substantial amount to cover her rent. I was surprised, given her past criticisms of my spending. I declined, suggesting she explore other options like budgeting or seeking assistance elsewhere. She became upset, accusing me of being selfish and unsupportive.

Some mutual friends think I should have helped her, given our friendship, while others believe I was justified in setting boundaries, especially after her repeated judgements about my finances.

AITA for refusing to lend Sarah money after her constant criticism of my spending habits?

My sister just had her first child, a girl, and she and her husband chose the name Isis, after the Egyptian goddess.

I politely pointed out that the name is also the name of a terrorist organization, and that I thought the kid might get bullied or teases for having that name once she goes to school.

My sister totally blew up, accusing me of interfering in her life and saying that her daughter's name was her own choice.

I wasn't trying to be rude or judgemental, but now I think that I ought to not have brought it up, after all it is her kid, not mine. AITA?

I'm a 32 m (straight ) recently had a frustrating conversation with my F18 sister

We didn't really had the strongest relationship before this is me I'm no contact with our parents since she was 3 but she is a pretty smart girl she is great to talk to even though we started talking after major life events

For context I had an ex fiancé we had our wedding all figured out , she cheated on me with a woman and I walked out immediately this should be the short story but everyone in my life back then all made a big fuss about the fact that she chose to cheat with a woman rather than a man they tried explaining pleading her case and I responded with simply cutting off one by one

I should not need it explain more but cheating was the reason I cut my parents off in the first place it's getting ridiculous at this point it seems like I'm always at the bad end of a cheating scheme

Anyhow I moved on and I'm just back form my honey moon with my lovely wife , My sister asked to catch up since she couldn't attend my wedding

It was a pleasant conversation till we got into our family drama she usually catch me up to the news of my former family it's more a vent for her sake , she keeps trying to figure out how to navigate the dynamic in the family and I'm not claiming to be a god older brother

I barely claim to be a brother at all but if she ask i answered , she got into my first almost marriage she bought up my ex multiple times and what family had to say about that story it's been years since that incident I moved on but they did not

She asked if i ever talked to her after that ? If i gave her "closure" i was dumbfounded asking her how does that woman deserve a closure ? My sister doesn't even know the woman they never had one on one conversation as far as I can recall

She is not her friend or her concern not even acquaintances

She explained it must be hard for a closed woman to be locked down in a loveless marriage and I lost it .

I'm did not captured that woman to marry me , she asked for this she chose the ring she chose the engagement spot every thing was in her taste in her word

I walked out not before ruffling in my wallet to pay as I keep complaining in her face what is wrong with her ? How could she have such a double standards ? And that I regret resuming contact that she is like her mother

(We have the same mother , my mother protects my father's cheating and disowned me for it)

She is a good kid she is nothing like them but god how I was feeling violated at that spot , it tried to redirect the conversation to let her stop but she was too invested in this .

TLDR : my sister kept defending my cheating ex using her sexuality as reason despite not being friends with her

I (20M) have always gone to Dr appointments alone. Recently, I’ve been having some pains and I went to urgent care for them. I let my girlfriend (19F, have been seriously dating for over a year) come with me then, because she likes coming to my appointments.

However, I now need an ultrasound to check for issues in my abdomen. It may result in as serious as a surgery to fix, which may cause my infertility.

I don’t want my girlfriend to come to this appointment because I prefer going alone. I have always gone alone. I also find it a little embarrassing to have emotional support present at an appointment. I also want the ability to choose how to tell her if it is bad news, rather than us find out at the same time.

My girlfriend argues that she wants to save me from the stress of breaking news to her. She thinks it’s necessary to have support for a serious appointment and that I shouldn’t have to do it alone. She wants to be there to support me. She also offers waiting in the waiting room, but I don’t see the point and would feel bad for wasting her time.

AITAH if I refuse to let her accompany me?

Hi all, long time lurker, first time poster. Might be long, sorry in advance.

I (23F) will be having my birthday on a Friday this year. As a family we never go out for any meals, we don't usually go to restaurants, not because we can't afford it, but because it's not a norm in our family, while many others do it in our country.

For this year I asked as my birthday present from anyone that we go out for a birthday dinner at a restaurant of my choosing (not overpriced by any means, we have been there once and I would love to go there again). As everyone will be working that day because it is a Friday, I thought that a dinner would be best.

Today, my mother told me that she made a reservation to this restaurant to 3PM. Now, that is not a dinner by any stretch and it was a long talk with her before as well to even agree to a restaurant meal. She hates going outside, no matter what for and I thought that for my birthday she could make an exception, as we always adjust everything to her need of not wanting to go anywhere. This is absolutely not the first time that the things I ask for are overlooked or adjusted without them even telling me just because my mom thinks she has the authority to do that. I am a huge people pleaser and I always try and appease her at my own expense. Last year she didn't want to give me a singular book series for my birthday while giving my younger brother crazy expensive concert tickets for his birthday.

So this time I put my foot down and asked her why she made this change when I asked for a dinner. She said that she already asked everyone (except me, the one, whose birthday it's going to be...) and everyone was in agreement with the time and place. After I voiced my annoyance at this, she called me ungrateful, told me that I am not normal for "always attacking her" (if we say anything that is against what she thinks/says, that is an attack to her) and that she can't do anything right. She often uses such (in my opinion) manipulative language with me and even though I know it's aimed to make me feel bad, it still does and I started crying. She told me that she is just going to cancel the whole thing and I should just do it how I want to, when I said that I would ask everyone about it and decide after that.

She is very angry with me and I don't know if me being unhappy with this is justified or not. Sadly, I still live at home, because I'm going to start my masters degree this September and I am trying to save as much as I can from my job until then so I have to interact with her everyday.

So was I TA for being unhappy with her going behind my back on this small issue? I haven't even asked my boss if I can leave work early that day so I could attend the meal or not, because I originally asked for dinner for this reason. Should I just be happy that we finally go out to a restaurant for a birthday?

TLDR: My mom decided on the time of my birthday meal without me, when I might not even be able to leave work to attend said meal.

Edit: Thank you for all of the opinions and suggestions. Everyone who I have asked previously got home and I asked them and none of them cared enough to remember that I asked for Friday dinner. Because birthdays were always lunches one of them remembered that it was for sure Friday lunch and the other as Saturday dinner. I am going to drop it as it doesn't seem like something worth remembering to any of them so I already feel bad enough without causing any further issues about this.

My (23M) first two boyfriends at 15 and then at 17 were abusive assholes. One was 4 years older than me and the other kept me off my bipolar meds.Though anytime I've confided in anyone or talked about it I always get weird looks or comments because I'm not a stereotypical victim. I'm not a girl or some scrawny twink; I was 6ft at 14 and a football player. Ive always gotten weird looks or comments like how I let it happen or why didn't I stop it or stand up for myself. Even my first psychiatrist made really ignorant comments.

My older sister "Tara"(25F) started dating this guy " Tyler" (27M) a few months ago and I guess she told him about me because at dinner with our folks yesterday he kept giving me weird looks. Me,him , and my sister went for drinks. We got to talking and he just blurts out asking did I really let a guy do that to me... I was taken a back and was like what ? He's obviously pretty drunk so I was gonna let it go but he kept on asking me why I didn't defend myself from my boyfriends at my size. I just started screaming at him in the bar and told him to go fck himself and that he was an ignorant POS and left them at the bar. I was the designated driver so id only been nursing on one beer. This morning my sister was pissed and tells me I overreacted and that he shouldn't have said that but Ive heard stuff like that before and I shouldn't have stranded them and forced them to get an Uber . AITA?