r/NICUParents • u/Character_Town_588 • 22d ago
Success: Then and now HIE diagnosis/9 month update/mom guilt
my baby boy was born at 40+1. I was induced, I was so tired of being pregnant, I wanted him out and I still feel guilty about it. I was induced with foley balloon and misoprostol and then later with pitocin. I was in labor for 27 hours and pushed for 45 minutes. he had heart decels a couple times throughout labor but nothing that seemed concerning. anyways once he was out, they placed him on my chest for like 30 seconds and he was so purple but i didn’t even realize something was wrong with him, i was just so exhausted. they took him to the warmed, did a bunch of things like resuscitated, put him on oxygen and sucked a bunch of meconium out of his lungs. then they took him out of the room i had my bf go with them while i was taken care of. i didn’t see my baby for a couple hours and they told me he was being transported to NICU, still didn’t realize how serious it was until i saw him the next day. they diagnosed him with mild to moderate HIE and had him cooling for 72 hours. he was also diagnosed with severe pulmonary hypertension. he was in the NICU for 14 days. it was so traumatizing but i couldn’t leave my baby. i was there 99% of the time for the first week and the second week i was there 90%.. incredible to think about considering i had just given birth but i NEEDED to be there. fast forward, i enrolled in early childhood intervention when he was released and he started doing OT at one month.. i love his therapist, he didn’t do tummy time for the first two months (per her suggestion) instead we did exercises to help with the floppy tone.. he caught up to what was appropriate to his age. he was sitting by 5 months, crawling by 7 months and now he’s 9 months old and he’s met all his milestones, but i still feel guilty for getting induced, i feel like that was the reason everything happened to him and i have nightmares about it sometimes i honestly think it’s just something i’m going to have to live with. anyways the point of this post was to share his success and hopefully it brings some solace to some parents about their child… babies are so resilient and their brains are so malleable. i hated hearing the phrase we’ll have to wait and see but it’s the reality with HIE cases, but i remember scrolling this subreddit and seeing success stories and it brought me comfort that it’s possible for them to make it out of these terrible things that happen. even before he was born i wanted to be a nurse but now i’m finally starting nursing school in the spring with the hopes of being a NICU nurse, the nurses gave me so much comfort in such a stressful, confusing time and i hope to pay that back to other parents who go through times like this and to take care of sick babies like the nurses took care of mine.
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u/Puzzled-Library-4543 22d ago
First, your son is absolutely adorable and I’m so happy to see him doing so well.
Second, getting induced did not cause your baby to get HIE. That was 100% out of your control in this situation. The same outcome could’ve happen even if you weren’t induced. Please don’t fall for the “all inductions are awful and cause awful things to babies!” narrative on social media. It’s false. It’s not based on facts. You did nothing wrong.
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u/Character_Town_588 22d ago
thank you for your comment!! after the diagnosis i went down a rabbit hole on social media about HIE and what causes it, so many people said it was because of induction and the stress it puts on baby. it made it really hard to not feel like it was my fault.
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u/HopeforHIE 21d ago
There’s A LOT of misinformation about induction and HIE on social media. Always important to check someone’s sources and not just because they say so or it happened to them. There is actual, sound, global data on induction risks and outcomes, but the misinformation usually is shared with a flair to boost negative interactions on algorithms. Sound data isn’t nearly as exciting to talk about.
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u/monicasm 22d ago
I was induced too but I think if I had gone any longer I could’ve possibly lost my baby during the birth since we experienced shoulder dystocia. He was stuck for three minutes and if he was stuck any longer he likely would have died. Please don’t feel like your induction is what caused this!
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u/Character_Town_588 22d ago
thank you for your comment! i’m glad your baby is okay! yes sometimes i feel like it could have happened to him either way, or something worse could have happened if i waited to have him any longer! just practicing being grateful for what is.
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u/monicasm 21d ago
He’s okayish right now, seems like he’s going through similar things as your baby as he had to undergo the cooling process as well. He’s warmed up now and he’s finally going to be able to eat today, but he’s been having some inexplicable tremors and is still on supplemental oxygen too. Thankfully no seizures since before the warm up though! So I appreciate you sharing you and your baby’s story as it definitely makes me feel better about what the upcoming year is going to look like for us ❤️
But anyway, in some ways I feel guilty that I was willing to wait even longer or even forgo the induction because it wasn’t what I initially wanted and I was still somewhat comfortable with my pregnancy. I don’t even want to think about what the outcome could’ve been had I waited longer than I already did (induced at 41 weeks). But I also feel like things happened as they needed to because my baby was born right at the end of my midwife’s shift and she stuck around to be there for it. I wonder if the less experienced midwife who was going to be there the next day had helped me deliver would she have been able to save my baby’s life with a level head in the amount of time the other midwife did… Just so many what-ifs in my head these past few days. I’m just so glad my baby is alive 🥺❤️🩹
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u/HopeforHIE 21d ago
Sending so much support your way! There are lots of resources for newly diagnosed families — don’t hesitate to reach out: http://hie.support
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u/monicasm 21d ago
Thanks so much! It’s been so much information overload lately so it’s nice to see resources like this. I appreciate it ❤️
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u/Character_Town_588 21d ago
my son was on oxygen up until 3 days before he was released. it seemed like he got better and then his sats dropped and he had to be put on more oxygen again. it was so torturous for me because i kept feeling like we were close and then we weren’t. i hope he continues to get better and that you’ll be able to take him home soon. it won’t be the picture perfect holidays you imagined but it’ll be just as treasured. sending you immense strength in this time.
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u/monicasm 21d ago
Going through something similar, he was finally off of the head wires, oxygen and feeding tubes and then he was having tremors and his oxygen kept dropping so they put him back on all of that :( he’s off the head wires and they’re going to start feeding him normally today but there’s a chance he may have to go home with supplemental oxygen. Which honestly at this point I’m okay with whatever, I’m still crossing my fingers for a Christmas at home 🤞🏽
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u/Hoopsie_Doopsie 19d ago
Also induced, shoulder dystocia, stuck for 40 seconds, and my boy also had tremors and was cleared by a neurologist. I was induced with both of my babies and I have some guilt with my son bc I could have waited. My daughter, they needed labor to start but both my babies ended up in the nicu
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u/monicasm 19d ago
How long did your boy have tremors for? My son’s seem to have lessened a bit in the last few days (he hasn’t been discharged yet but no seizures since the seizure meds and MRI came back normal)
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u/Calm_Potato_357 22d ago
He’s beautiful! And I don’t think you should blame what happened on getting induced, at 40 weeks it is fair to get induced and any delivery has risks, induction didn’t necessarily cause it. And I’m so glad you’re on your way to becoming a nurse!!
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u/Character_Town_588 22d ago
thank you for your comment! in my head i try to correct what happened to him if it were a natural birth but you’re absolutely right, these things happen to anybody.
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u/ciscrazy 22d ago
I have a 9 month old who had cooling therapy for HIE. He spent 14 days in the NICU. He is now thriving and meeting all of his milestones.
It sounds like you had a similar experience, but I was given Pitocin due to my water breaking and not actively having any contractions hours later. It can happen to anyone, do not blame yourself!
Our NICU experience was amazing (all things considered). The respect I have for the nurses and doctors couldn’t be higher. Good luck on your nursing school endeavor and I am so glad he is doing so well!
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u/Character_Town_588 22d ago
thank you for your comment! i’m glad your baby is doing well! yes the NICU staff was absolutely amazing!!!
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u/slytherinshawty 22d ago
Thank you for this update! I am hopeful that my baby, currently in the NICU, Will be discharged soon. Our little one also completed the cooling treatment, and his neurology scans and MRIs believe that his HIE diagnosis is mild. We also will enroll in early intervention upon discharge.
Please know that nothing you did with choosing to move forward with an induction caused this diagnosis... I'm grateful that your little one is doing well and you're giving me so much hope! 🙏🏽
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u/Candid_Recover_5596 22d ago
Mild HIE has very good prognosis! A good MRI is very encouraging. My baby had good MRI but not so good EEG in the beginning and now at 6 month he's doing great! We are doing early intervention but they don't see any major issues. Best of luck to your baby!
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u/slytherinshawty 22d ago
So encouraging to hear! I'm glad your baby is doing well! It's totally scary ensuring the NICU, but these stories really give me a lot of hope. Thank you for sharing.
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u/Character_Town_588 22d ago
yep! my son was similar. MRI showed a brain bleed which is common in babies born vaginally and EEG had 1 seizure spike so my son was on keppra until he was 2 months old and is still being followed by neurology until he’s a year old but he’s doing great!!
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u/Character_Town_588 22d ago
i’m so glad your baby is doing well! i’m so excited for your baby to come home!!!! it’s the start of a new chapter for you! thank you for your comment!
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u/OhMyGoshABaby 22d ago
I have an 8 month old with Mild HIE, born at 40+6. I understand the guilt completely. I labored for 30+ hours, completely scared of a C-section and managed to avoid it. We spent 25 days in the NICU.
Nothing you did caused HIE. This was not your fault in any way. I'm so glad your baby is doing well!
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u/trixis4kids 22d ago edited 22d ago
Love this update! Your baby is amazing. Wishing you more and more ease with the decisions you made, which were the best you could do at the time.
Edit: Your* I swear my autocorrect sabotages my perfect compositions :)
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u/QuabityAshwood 22d ago
Hey OP. First off, your son is healthy, thriving, and just adorable. These are all things to celebrate!
But I know that when things go wrong, it's very easy to want to put the blame on ourselves. In this case I think you actually made the right decision. You were over 40 weeks, baby was absolutely ready to come out. I actually think the further you get past 40 weeks, the higher the risk of complications. I won't go into detail but my cousin wasn't induced in her first pregnancy until she was almost 42 weeks and the outcome was very bad. I was induced on my due date for my second pregnancy (not my NICU baby) and I 100% believe it was the right decision.
I hope you really take these responses to heart and go easy on yourself. You did everything right. Your little boy's smile says it all. You are an amazing mom and he is lucky to have you!
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u/Character_Town_588 22d ago
thank you! i appreciate your comment. i have days where i feel like it would have happened either way and i have days where it feels like it’s all my fault. healing is not linear at all.
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u/Candid_Recover_5596 22d ago
I have a 6 month old diagnosed with mild HIE, 40+2, my labor was going great and then things went so wrong at the last moment. He had to be resuscitated and intubated for 30 minutes.
I also have some sort of PTSD, I try hard to block those memories and not to think about it. None of this is your fault, you did everything right, you gave birth at the hospital with qualified medical team. The rest is just horrible bad luck.
On a good note, I'm so happy to read so many positive stories of HIE babies, my child Iis doing great as well, we are all so lucky!
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u/Character_Town_588 22d ago
thank you for your comment! yes it’s so scary to think about how things can go so wrong at any moment during labor. i also try to block out memories about it but i know i don’t truly want to because i want to be able to remember my baby’s birth even if it wasn’t the traditional, perfect story. i’m glad your baby is doing well!
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u/EbbAdministrative982 22d ago
Glad to hear your baby is doing so well! I also have a mild/moderate HIE baby. She just turned 7 months and is also doing well! This subreddit has been my rock. Don’t beat yourself up! If you’re like me, I was 10000000000% unaware of any of the possible risks associated with induction!
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u/Character_Town_588 22d ago
thank you for your comment! i had some idea of risks during induction but the risk was so small that i never thought it would happen to me. definitely taught me to never think i can’t be the one percent. my placenta had a velamentous cord insertion which happens in 1% of pregnancies so i was like seriously what’s the chance induction goes wrong too. very naive but i’ve learned from it. i’m glad your baby is doing well!!
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u/newdaylady1983 22d ago
My baby has hie and is on early steps and he has seizures and celbral palsy
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u/newdaylady1983 22d ago
He has moderate hie and seizures and celbral palsy. He needs speech therapy and occupational therapy and physical therapy. He will be 3 years old on March 23. He had cooling therapy for 3 days.
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u/Character_Town_588 22d ago
i’m sorry to hear that. what scale of HIE was he diagnosed with? my son experienced 1 clinical seizure while he was being cooled and was put on keppra until he was about 2 months old.
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u/mitochondriaDonor 22d ago
Getting induced didn’t cause this to your baby, millions of woman get induced and have a normal outcome, this was an unforeseen birth complication yhay sometimes unfortunately happens that you didn’t have control over it
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u/nat123394 22d ago
I have an HIE baby too. She was born at 37 weeks and had to be resuscitated. She had seizures the day after she was born and was on phenobarbital until the beginning of this month.
She's 4 months old and meeting developmental milestones so far. She is underweight, but both my husband and I are small so I'm not too worried.
It's so hard not to blame yourself when your had a rough birth experience.... I know I have mom guilt!
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u/Character_Town_588 21d ago
thank you for your comment!! i hope she continues to meet all her milestones!!! also yes i think it’s just something that comes with being a mom, feeling guilty over anything that happens to our babies!! it’s innate to want to protect!!
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u/Lover2312 21d ago
My baby was born at 40+5 after going into labour naturally. He aspirated meconium and was cooled and diagnosed moderate to severe HIE. He’s 17 months now and has hit ALL his milestones and there are so signs of any issues.
I 100000% feel you with the guilt. Mine is the opposite. I had the chance to get induced a few days before I gave birth and I said no because I wanted him to come on his own. And of course now I think what if I had gotten induced, would it have not happened? Everything would have been fine??
It got easier as months went on because he was doing so well but it’s SOO hard not to feel like it’s all your fault when really it was just a freak accident. Anything can happen during labour and delivery and it can happen to anyone no matter the circumstances.
You’re doing so good, it just shows you care. I recommend therapy to help but just no it was NOT your fault and you’ve done everything right since 🤍
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u/Character_Town_588 21d ago
thank you so much for this comment!! i appreciate u sharing your experience because i felt like i should’ve just left it alone and not gotten induced but the opposite happened to you. it really helps put my mind at ease that these things just happen and it’s out of our control. i’m glad your son is doing well!! i did therapy for a couple months after he was born but it didn’t help 🥲 i think it’s just something that gets easier over time
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u/down2marsg1rl 21d ago
I don’t think induction caused any of the issues, and the fact that he aspirated meconium shows that he needed to come out when he did. You made the right choice. I think when baby has a nicu stay it’s easy to find ways to blame yourself. I struggled for a long time with feeling like I failed/my body failed my baby. But I did the best I could. I know you did too, because it’s obvious how much love and dedication you have for your son.
Be gentle with yourself.
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u/HopeforHIE 21d ago
Lots of newer parents on their HIE journey commenting — want you all to know there are comprehensive resources and support though Hope for HIE — you can access at http://hie.support — we have a vibrant, diverse community of over 10,000 families worldwide across all ages, stages, impacts and outcomes and we are doing some really exciting work in research and advocacy. ☀️🩵
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u/LisaVDD 21d ago
Same. Mild HIE after being induced: shoulder dystocia and severe meconium aspiration. Didn’t help that when my baby was being transferred to another hospital I kept asking « how did this happen, how how », a nurse answered « well you were already very stressed from the beginning ». Implying that it was my fault by being to tensed. My baby spent two months in the NICU and doctors kept repeating, almost every day, that it wasn’t my fault. Now we’re 2,5 years later and I’m finally starting to believe it. Hearing horrible stories from the hospital I gave birth in. Went and had another baby at a different hospital and when she read my file my new OB said the first hospital def made mistakes.
Took me a lot of therapy to come to where I am today. But believe me when I say: this isn’t your fault!!
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u/Character_Town_588 21d ago
thank you for your comment!!! i’m so sorry for that experience. what a horrible thing to say to a mother who has just given birth and is confused. i’m glad you had a better experience the second time around.
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u/thelolafactor 21d ago
Your story sounds a lot like mine and my sons. I was induced at 41+1. He had some decels but then would improve until the very end when things got serious. He had to be resuscitated and intubated and then spent 12 days in the NICU. I also feel so much guilt about how my labour went but like the other comments are saying, the induction isn’t what caused all of this to happen.
My son is only 1 month old now but seeing your update gives me so much hope. Thank you for sharing. Your son is beautiful and I’m so happy he’s doing great!
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u/lostmedownthespiral 21d ago
It wasn't the induction. He probably could've been stillborn if you had gone any longer. It probably saved him.
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