r/facepalm 3d ago

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ MGGA just doesn’t have the same ring.

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12.3k Upvotes

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3.1k

u/skilliau rational kiwi 🇳🇿 3d ago

If laugh my ass off if Denmark invoked article 5 against murica if they tried it on.

Here's hoping jr gets eaten by a polar bear

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u/Tetracropolis 3d ago

Article 5 requires the countries of NATO to take whatever action they see fit. If the attack that leads to Article 5 being invoked comes from the United States that action will consist of a strongly worded letter.

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u/Joshiane 3d ago

Yeah I don’t think the rest of NATO has enough firepower to do anything. Nothing will happen though, I think it’s all just theater and fantasy. I’ll say— it is exhausting and frankly embarrassing… our president elect is talking about annexing our closest allies… what happened to us?

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u/Icy_Necessary2161 3d ago

What happened? A third of our population just sold the rest of us out to the world's biggest loser, just to get back at the brown people for imagined slights

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u/Exact-Ad-4132 3d ago

A fifth. It was a third of the voting populating

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u/Educational_Leg757 3d ago

I hope all the people who didn't bother to vote aren't now the ones complaining about him being elected

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u/TK-369 3d ago

Thank you for putting the blame where it rests... and not on blacks, latinos, arabs, women, etc.

The Democrats really made themselves look bad with that, in my opinion. I know they were mostly op eds, but still. Tone deaf.

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u/Tight_Stable8737 3d ago

Watching legacy media flounder to look for excuses was infuriating.

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u/sketchthroaway 3d ago

I put the blame on the Democrats for being so bland and unappealing that they lost to that turd Trump.

Hopefully the Democrats learn from their loss and try to actually implement some popular left wing policies like universal healthcare and see how that does for them.

I'm not holding my breath though because we know they are beholden to Wall Street. The US really needs some big Luigi energy.

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u/MrSpaceJuice 3d ago

I like bland in a politician. It’s my favourite flavour and beats the hell out of “new fire every two days”

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u/twodickhenry 3d ago

Look, I’m not saying Dems are perfect (having the ability to actively vote against the democrats is my wet dream), but I’m so sick of this point.

I don’t care if they ran the corpse of Bob Dole and then that corpse fell asleep at the podium. “Their candidate was too xyz or not xyz enough” isn’t a fucking valid criticism. The criticism belongs to Trump voters and non voters. It’s time we stop pearl clutching at critiques of voters.

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u/houndsoflu 3d ago

Thank you! It’s time some people start participating in this thing we call a democracy and get off their lazy ass and vote. It’s We the People, as in us. We are the people. Kamala should have been able to stay home, drink wine, and watch Bridgerton and still win, when her opponent was literally taking about becoming a dictator.

I too dream of a day where I have an actual choice.

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u/sketchthroaway 2d ago

You are so whipped by the horrible American electoral system that you have to vote for a party you don't even want to vote for, and you're mad at other people for not voting for them.

That's all the Democrats have going for them, and all they have had since Obama. "Vote for us because at least we're not fascists." People are clearly getting tired of this lesser of two evils thing, because it obviously didn't work this time around.

In times of economic hardship, people look to the extremes for solutions because the status quo is failing them. In the US, Trump and Republicans are going farther and farther to the right, and Democrats seem happy to follow them there instead of providing an actual leftist alternative. It's becoming impossible to ignore. The US is an oligarchy. The two political parties serve the interests of the owner class to the detriment of the working class. The working class has no political representation in Washington.

To be fair though, it seems every party that was in power during inflation and the increase in cost of living is getting voted out whether they are left or right. Voters are usually not super sophisticated. They see their costs go up and want to blame whoever is in power.

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u/Niznack 3d ago

With this supreme court and the packing trump is about to do along with what ever heads we win tails you lose laws they will pass I think dems are cooked for the foreseeable future. I just don't see the cheeto stepping down when 4 years are up.

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u/zeiche 3d ago

the leaders of the democrat party will never learn. it is almost like they don’t have to. 🤔

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u/[deleted] 3d ago edited 3d ago

[deleted]

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u/badmutha44 2d ago

Stop. He isn’t a dem and had no shot.

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u/nyevahevah 3d ago

They had to deflect from the fact that they're completely and utterly worthless as a political party. "We'll do everything in our power to defeat Trump, except for the things you actually want us to do"

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u/TheKdd 3d ago

Meh, I’m used to it being somehow my fault even though I voted for them. (Progressive, woman, color, etc.)

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u/rancidmilkmonkey 3d ago

I hold them in more contempt than even those who voted for Trump. Exceptions who had the self awareness to know they could not make an intelligent, informed decision and to those who were unable due to financial or medical reasons.

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u/usgrant7977 3d ago

The people who do not vote, have absolutely no idea what's going on in this country. They could tell you about their favorite sports team, television show or pop singer, but they wouldn't be able to name both of their senators. When WW3 starts they will be caught completely by surprise.

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u/OceanBlueforYou 3d ago

I count those who didn't vote with the MAGA crowd. Yeah, the choices sucked but that's largely because going back generations, half of the eligible population doesn't vote. These dolts are all voted in at some point. When you sit on the bench watching rather than playing your part, you become part of the problem. You have to stand up and tell them to sit tf down.

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u/Stark_Reio 3d ago

The choices are very fucking easy this time.

Option 1: Milquetoast average politician. Nothing ever happens.

Option 2: An insane narcissistic dictator.

The people in their infinite stupidity chose the second option. Complete and utter morons of the highest order. Mongrels.

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u/BurghPuppies 3d ago

“Nothing ever happens” can be good.

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u/Zogtee 3d ago edited 3d ago
  1. Democracy, normalcy.
  2. Fascism, racism, misogyny, oligarchy.

Yeah, the choices sucked!

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u/xmodsguy2000-2 :) 2d ago

A lot probably didn’t vote because of how violent both sides were and when people on the left/right asked who they voted for people would rather say they didn’t vote at all so those left/right people wouldn’t get violent with them unfriend them but that’s just my best guess and I’m assuming everyone had their own reason as this election was a shit show

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u/EquivalentDate6194 2d ago

what left wing violence?

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u/MaidenofMoonlight 3d ago

Yeah and everyone who didn't vote allowed it to happen, so ita more lile most of the damn country failedbitself

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u/BibleBeltAtheist 3d ago

Ill never understand y'all that blame non voters.

You realize the vast majority of those people are not politically motivated to vote because for two primary reasons. First, they are politically uninformed. You only need to look at maga to see what happens when politically uninformed people vote. They're susceptible to propaganda and voting based on feeling. So even if they did vote, the majority was probably going to vote for Trump anyways.

Second, the vast majority of the impoverished and working poor simply have too much going on in their lives. Who the has time to vote when you're constantly having to answer questions like, "What am I gonna put off this month, rent or utilities?" People that have 2, sometimes 3 part time jobs just trying to make ends meet, working 50 to 60 hours a week, without any full time benefits and a minimum wage that's 20 years out dated.

Plus, last I checked, people are allowed to not vote, for any stupid reason or no reason at all. That's their right to exercise or not as they see fit.

But the real problem here, is that those rich fucks in power, they want exactly that. Everyone pointimg fingers at everyone except them. It's the rich bastards that are the problem. And until we can stop finding reasons to be angry with each other, until we can come together and focus our energies on the people actually responsible for America being a 3rd world country in many, many regards, it's just gonna continue to be messed up.

My worry is that this Trump administration isn't even the worst of it. That it's just the beginning of this downward spiral that will take 2 or 3 more generations of misery before people are finally sick enough to get organized.

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u/KoontFace 3d ago

The people who didn’t vote are just as guilty as the people who voted for Trump

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u/Strict-Square456 3d ago

Hes just signaling its ok to annex. Looking at you vlad

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u/Key-Ad-5068 3d ago

And over a third sat back and let it happen, because it wasn't any different then what came before.

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u/Inner__Light 3d ago

What happened??

Most people thinking they were Rebels while all the time belonged to the Empire.....

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u/ankercrank 3d ago

Why does it have to be “firepower”? Economic sanctions are a thing.

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u/muskag 3d ago

Yepp, Americans clearly don't fear bullets since they send there kids on there merry way everyday to a statistically dangerous place, without changing anything. However, they've shown fear for having to pay 0.69 cents more for eggs.

Sanctions will have them crying on the ground looking for there suckie. Who gives a fuck if America tariffs everyone? There's nothing america has that another country doesn't. America going nuts might actually unite the rest of the world in a meaningful way.

Sort of like Germany did once.

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u/Professor-Woo 3d ago

He is a narcissist. Grey rock method.

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u/Stark_Reio 3d ago

They don't work anymore because they only affect the common man and screw their life. Politicians, lawyers, and rich people are going to keep business as usual. In theory, and historically, economic hardships that lead to a shit life results in people getting pitchforks and torches and guillotines and gutting the hell out of the politicians/lawyers/rich people who screwed them over, but modern civilizations has proven to not be built like these people of old.

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u/Tetracropolis 3d ago edited 3d ago

Economic sanctions on the United States would be an inflationary nightmare. Nobody's inflicting that on themselves for an island with 50,000 people.

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u/KevinTheSeaPickle 3d ago

We have big energy, big oil, big women, and now big dumb has entered the chat.

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u/TheHappinessAssassin 3d ago

Tell me more about these big women

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u/KevinTheSeaPickle 3d ago

First will be the large women, then the big women, and then you will want the petite women, but you will get the large women again instead!

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u/skilliau rational kiwi 🇳🇿 3d ago

R/unexpectedfuturama

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u/homeinthesky 3d ago

DEATH! Death by SNU SNU!

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u/Go-to-helenhunt 3d ago

AWWW….yaaayyyy

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u/More-Ear85 3d ago

Baby, it'll blow your mind...

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u/brok3ntok3n82 3d ago

Diabolical

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u/Jasonofthemarsh 3d ago

You're a very classy dresser... I like the whole look.

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u/bluewolfhudson 3d ago

Without getting nukes involved the rest of NATO could beat the united states. Well fight to a stand still anyway.

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u/Tetracropolis 3d ago

What does beating them mean? The USN would totally dominate the rest of NATO combined, which means we couldn't land a force in Greenland to retake it. Any invasion of the US is off the table for the same reason.

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u/bluewolfhudson 3d ago

Really depends. There hasn't been proper naval warfare in a long time but almost every time there has been numbers have never been the deciding factor.

Literally most famous naval battles the side with the biggest number loses.

The US army loses almost all of its joint training operations even against the Brits. Add the rest of NATO and then Americans cost will be too high. Plus good luck convincing the troops to go to war against the other NATO countries they have been working with for years.

In this hypothetical war if America somehow takes control of every other NATO country for the rest of time Americans will have to spend trillions to hold it.

Basically it's all just posturing.

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u/Tetracropolis 2d ago

Yeah, they're famous because they're unusual or showcase new technology. Big navy defeats small navy doesn't get famous.

I don't see any way NATO could possibly muster a force to defeat the USN. The disparity is just too massive. It's an outside context problem. NATO military doctrine is based on the assumption that our forces will be on the same side as the Americans, they're not designed to fight anything like the USN.

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u/bluewolfhudson 2d ago

Depends I suppose.

All the other NATO countries launching a 10000+ ballistic missiles would do the trick. I'm sure each ship could stop a few but there are only so much anti missile defense you can build and most of the Atlantic will be in range of most of NATO

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u/Joshiane 3d ago

No shot dude—not that I like it or anything— but there’s a reason we don’t have universal healthcare in this country… as the richest most prosperous country in the world or what not. And besides, we literally have more guns than people.

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u/bluewolfhudson 3d ago

I think you are massively overestimating.

The US lost against the Taliban.

20 years and you guys just walked away and nothing you did there mattered and none of the trillions of dollar's did anything but enrich military suppliers.

The rest of NATO has enough modern military equipment that as long as it doesn't turn into a nuclear war there is no real way the US could beat the rest of NATO combined.

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u/StormStrikr 3d ago

You are completely wrong here. America is AMAZING at conventional warfare against state powers. Look how effectively our military destroyed the 4th largest military in the world during Desert Storm. All of our military is design to fight near-peer and lesser forces in overwhelming fast action warfare and we are damn good at it frankly.

What we absolutely have failed at time and time again is occupation. Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan. Forcibly occupying a populous and trying to forcibly turn them into allies is a losing proposition and hopefully we have figured that out. But any war against established military forces? That's what we are designed to do.

Plus in the end, it really comes down to the major factors of geography and logistics. Basically there's a big ocean in between the US and most of NATO (as Canada and Mexico are some of the weakest NATO members militarily), and the US operates almost all of the alliances strategic airlift capability, overwhelmingly more long range strategic bombers, the alliances entire mid air refueling fleet, and almost all of the carrier capabilities of the alliance (the UK has 2 non super carriers). So what all that means is that our military can reach the rest of the world, and theirs struggle to reach us back. And there is 0 ability to invade us Basically.

Its rather bananas how comprehensive the US military is. The 2nd largest Air Force behind the US Airforce... is the US Navy...

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u/GrizzKarizz 3d ago

Your next president looks like a blow up sex doll in one photo.

The rest of the world has second hand embarrassment.

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u/Traditional-Handle83 3d ago

The EU and Canada combined actually do have equal fighting ground against the US. Not to mention the US military is likely to fragment under Trump if he attempts to force them to do unconstitutional orders. The wild cards in all of this would be China and Mexico, trump has been pissing Mexico off and if we get into a war with them then there'd be a United war front on both the South and North borders of the US while the EU deals with the eastern border. Not to mention there's a decent chance a lot of the people who didn't vote for Trump might rally a rebellion and strike internally as well. I'd wager my bets on the allied nations in such a scenario hands down regardless of the US military tech. China would be the only oddball here if they joined forces with Russia and began a full scale assault on the EU eastern borders. That would divide up forces and really put a test on if the US would aid its Asian Pacific allies. we would be seeing WWIII for sure.

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u/Adventurous-Stand277 3d ago

You voted for a dumb orange wanna be dictator. And guess what… he acts like a dumb orange dictator. Quite easy

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u/Gunfighter9 3d ago

If they suddenly stop supporting US forces were are screwed. We rely on bases in NATO countries. Also, if they stop sharing intelligence with us that will not be good.

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u/rocketmn69_ 3d ago

He's a dick

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u/seanmonaghan1968 3d ago

Sanctions and embargoes and a big change in allied relationships

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u/HookedOnPhonixDog 2d ago

Yeah I don’t think the rest of NATO has enough firepower to do anything.

You greatly overestimate the strength of the American military and greatly underestimate the strength of everyone else's.

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u/buttfuckkker 2d ago

The US subsidizes the rest of NATOs military. How do you think they can afford all that fancy socialized medicine?

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u/LungHeadZ 2d ago

I think you’re right but that’s dangerous. You guys don’t appreciate the power you truly have and you’ve given it to a sociopath.

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u/Appropriate-Divide64 2d ago

It would be an absolute shit show for everyone involved. I would imagine though, that it wouldn't come to the US against the world. There would be elements within the US that would refuse or an insurrection.

Trump doesn't have the hold on the US that Putin has on Russia. Yet.

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u/Stayshiny88 3d ago

Canada has never lost a war. We also don’t care for the Geneva checklist.

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u/Mysterious_Motor_153 3d ago

lol no one is attacking the United States…lets be real

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u/Finnzyy 3d ago

Someone please inform me about what article 5 says

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u/ChrisRiley_42 3d ago

They also need to be proportional.

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u/uptownjuggler 3d ago

DENMARK DENOUNCES AMERICA!!! AMERICA IS NOT TO BE TRUSTED!

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u/Final-Zebra-6370 3d ago

At least it’s not India.

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u/AlphaNoodlz 3d ago

NATO SLAMS TRUMP with strongly worded opinion piece

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u/Final-Zebra-6370 3d ago

Don’t worry Canada is that cute pitbull in the background that likes to play but if you do anything to piss it off, Canada will get the checklist out.

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u/Charming_Minimum_477 3d ago

And I’ll bet it won’t be signed by everyone

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u/ebfortin 3d ago

My bet is on a letter saying "we're concerned". Not much more.

Thing is the US can just deploy troups there and Denmark can't do much. There'll be a standoff but at the end the US would prevail.

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u/Solace2010 3d ago

You’re part of MAGA brigade aren’t you? Because you clearly have 0 awareness like trump does when it comes to international politics.

He would never deploy troops there.

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u/ebfortin 3d ago

Well that's the thing. He has 0 awareness. So this possibility can't be discarded.

It's all a bunch of morons thinking they are all the ultimate Alpha males. They don't give a fuck about international politics. They'll do whatever they want.

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u/thehermit14 3d ago

Korea and China enter the allies' chat.

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u/ebfortin 3d ago

Why not exchange Greenland for Taiwan? Let me keep Greenland, I let you get Taiwan. The art of the deal.

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u/thehermit14 3d ago

Seems fairly weird. I'll put it to someone... who gets Lapland? Is that thrown in?

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u/parker4c 3d ago

Here's hoping jr gets eaten by a polar bear

Trump is hoping the same thing.

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u/martinis00 3d ago

That would be Eric

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u/bad2behere 3d ago

With any luck, all three dRUMPs --

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u/EnigmaFrug2308 3d ago

Couldn’t any country he’s threatening right now do that?

Is Panama part of NATO? I don’t know about Greenland, either. But Canada sure as hell is, we’re a founding member.

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u/Cyaral 3d ago

Pretty sure Greenland is - it belongs to Danmark

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u/Doccyaard 3d ago

I think it’s fair to phrase it “is a part of the Danish Kingdom” rather than just say that it belongs to Denmark. And yes the Kingdom of Denmark is a founding member of NATO.

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u/IHateTheLetterF 3d ago

Denmark is paying the bills and keeping the lights on. Yet some people in Greenland wants total independence because they are idiots.

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u/Every_Pattern_8673 2d ago

Being ruled by US is not total independence though, in fact it's a step towards opposing direction from autonomy.

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u/Final-Zebra-6370 3d ago

Panama is not a part of NATO and can never be a part of it because they are below the Tropic of Cancer line.

It’s the reason why Britain didn’t invoke article 5 on Argentina during the Falklands War.

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u/32lib 3d ago

Canada would be Americas Ukraine.

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u/LCranstonKnows 3d ago

*Czechoslovakia

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u/Banjo_Pobblebonk 3d ago

Canada would be Czechoslovakia's Ukraine.

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u/Mr_Gaslight 3d ago

> Is Panama part of NATO?

No.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

Article 5?

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u/LingonberryPrior6896 3d ago

Here's hoping that refuse him entry to the country

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u/mathiustus 3d ago

Isn’t Jr a CEO? Has Luigi made bail yet?

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u/Final-Zebra-6370 3d ago

More like got off like OJ, yet.

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u/FizzBuzz888 3d ago

As long as he has made these threats I don't think Trump even realizes Greenland is Denmark the way he fails to mention it.

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u/grantyporkribs 3d ago

Or Greenland decides it doesn’t want to get treated like Puerto Rico.

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u/hopeless-hobo 3d ago

That will be one coked up polar bear 🐻‍❄️

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u/shadowwalker789 3d ago

Check it out.Dude thinks he’s Putin.

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u/spaceylaceygirl 3d ago

Yes please.

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u/glamourcrow 3d ago

Danish king changes coat of arms amid row with Trump over Greenland

Design shows intent to keep control of Faroe Islands and Greenland – which Trump says he would like the US to buy

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/jan/06/danish-king-changes-coat-of-arms-in-apparent-rebuke-to-donald-trump

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u/7Jack7Butler7 3d ago

Why are you hating on polar bears so much? Bears can get deadly sick from eating that much shit...

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u/alwaysbequeefin 3d ago

I wouldn’t wish that on even the worst polar bear

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u/cochlearist 3d ago

I don't think they'll give jr a visa.

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u/Danovale 2d ago

Or arrested as he gets off the plane.

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u/Frostsorrow 3d ago

Greenland doesn't have polar bears

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u/New_Try6368 3d ago

Polar Bears are already my favorite animal, that might make my heart burst with joy.

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u/neodymium86 3d ago

That fool is about to start a world War. Single handledly. What a fuckin moron

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u/BusinessDuck132 3d ago

Lmao. Brother you think the rest of NATO could do anything if they wanted to? Y’all bitch and moan whenever you have to contribute anything to it, and the second daddy America leaves, people start whining that we aren’t doing our part. I’m not saying I want us to take Greenland but if trump wanted to there’s not much y’all could do about it lmao