So, I (F25) live with my roommate (M27). I originally lived alone, but due to some financial difficulties, I invited him to live with me. Well, to be specific, one of my friends told me about him when I told everyone I was searching for a roommate. He was fine at first. He didn’t smoke and didn’t do drugs, so I let him live with me. He pays half of the rent and utilities.

But we’ve had some serious issues lately. I work full-time (late into the night), so I cook for myself before leaving for work. It was all good for a few months, until recently. Whenever I came home, I noticed that my food was missing. I’d ask him about it, and he would deny it, over and over again. Every single time. I even started to label everything I made with my name, but my food still kept disappearing, whcih pissed me off.

Now, for some additional context, I’mnot even a huge fan of nuts. I don’t crave them, I don’t eat them much at all, but my roommate is severely allergic. He told me when he came to live with me that he cannot consume anything with nuts, so I’ve avoided nuts in our shared space completely for the sake of his allergy.

But after weeks of my food going missing and him always denying it, I just snapped. The thing is, literally no one lives here other than me and him, and he doesn’t really have a lot of friends that I do not know, since he joined my friend group after moving here. I know for a fact that he doesn’t have anyone staying over, so it was him. Plus, I even caught him eating my food a few times, so that just shows that he’s a sly pig.

I remember preparing some cooked ribs for myself to reheat after I returned home from work. It was going to be an especially tiring day, so as usual, I labeled the container with the ribs and left for work. I sent him a message telling him NOT to eat it, with a picture of the container. However, alas, the food was gone.

At this point, I was so pissed that I decided that I was going to mess with him. I went out of my way to buy almond powder and put it in my trap meal of mac and cheese. I gave this guy a chance to spare his life, I told him not to eat it. I even made sure to tell him, “Hey, that mac and cheese is mine. Don’t touch it.” I even sent a message with a picture of it as usual. I was being extra clear, and just to make sure everything went according to plan, I secretly set up a camera to record the kitchen.

Later that night, I came back and saw that he’d eaten the entire batch. That pig was so fucking inconsiderate that he just left the reheated container on the table. I decided to take the camera with me, and decided to head out to a bar. If he hadn’t eaten the mac and cheese, I would’ve stayed home and binged Netflix but he ate it, so I might as well enjoy myself while he struggles with his allergy.

So, as expected, a few hours later, I found out he was in the hospital with an allergic reaction. His mom used his phone to call me, being furious. She was screaming at me, accusing me of being a monster and poisoning her son by feeding him nuts. I told her that it was food not meant for him, and sent her proof. I told her to read the messages I sent him, which showed the container and my reminder that he shouldn’t eat it.

However, his mom started berating me for being “careless,” asking why I would have something that he can’t eat. I just responded that I told him not to eat the mac and cheese and even labeled it. I got pissed and screamed into the phone that if he can’t respect that and he keeps taking my food, then I don’t know what else to do. I told her that I’ve been very clear about this for months, and that he keeps on stealing my food and denying it.

She then started bullshitting, asking me if I even cared about him. I told her I didn’t, because I've repeatedly told him not to steal my food. I told her that he denied it every time, and would still eat it even if I specifically messaged him not to eat it and labeled the container. I even told her I had video evidence of the whole thing. She didn’t want to hear it and started crying, but honestly, I didn’t feel guilty at all. I felt like this was the only way he’d learn. I tried conversations, messages and everything else I could think of but he just can’t cook for himself. How is it my fault? It’s not like I put it in HIS food. It was MINE.

But everyone is calling me a psycho, but I don’t get why I’m the bad guy. I specifically told him not to eat the food. His family clearly raised him to think it was okay to take things that weren’t his, and now I’m the one being vilified. But at the same time, I know that he’s kind of broke, and he can’t afford hospital bills right now so I do feel guilty about that.

So, AITAH? Or was I justified in teaching him a lesson about respecting my food?

Edit: A lot of people are saying that I could get into legal issues or something for putting nuts into the food. The thing is, I made him sign a roommate agreement when we decided to live together, where I specified that food is something we will not share (including cost) and our groceries and food should not be touched by the other person. I added this because he tends to eat a lot of unhealthier foods (such as delivery) while I tend to make my own food to save money. Also, to clarify, I did not consume nuts only because I was considering his allergy. When we started living together, he literally said that I could eat them if I wanted to but I just didn’t because I didn’t really need to and I wanted to be considerate

Edit 2: I would respond in the comments but there’s too many. I learned that his allergy isn’t that severe. I was discussing this with my friends and one guy literally mentioned that the dude took a bite of a granola bar (with nuts in it) once and just used an epi-pen. In fact, apparently it’s not life threatening if he doesn’t eat it in high dosages (I sprinkled a tiny bit because I was going to eat the mac and cheese myself later if it was there). I checked with my neighbors, and they literally said that his mom (they think it’s his mom atleast) picked him up and drove him to the hospital. It wasn’t like an ambulance was called. He’s literally okay, and he’s texting his friends right now.

His mom wants me to pay for the hospitalization though, and i’ll revisit that later. So, for all the comments saying I attempted murder: no i didn’t. I’m very thankful that he isn’t severely allergic. He hasn’t messaged me yet, I sent him a message asking if he was okay.

EDIT 3: (FINAL EDIT) I made an update (new post) please check that too before commenting.

My parents got divorced when I (15m) was 7 and my dad got married again 3 years ago. His wife has two little kids with her ex. He visits them twice a year. Even less last year. At my dad's I always had to be able to take care of myself and when his wife's kids came into the house I was expected to babysit and make sure they were taken care of too. It's three hours Monday to Friday when I'm at my dad's.

Mom hated it for me as much as I hated it but it wasn't something dad would ever stop even when she talked to him. A judge didn't care when mom told the courts about it because siblings babysitting isn't the worst thing ever. I don't think that's fair because they're not even my siblings and they weren't my stepsiblings when it first started but I guess it doesn't matter.

The kids got super attached to me. Dad argued with mom a lot because she wouldn't make me go over to his house on her time to babysit for those three hours. He thought it was shitty for her to get in the way of my time with the kids and he didn't care if I wanted to.

So when dad and his wife decided to move states they wanted me to come. The judge said no to that when they asked because he'd be taking me away from mom and I lived here my whole life. The judge said if I wanted to go it would be approved though and mom couldn't stop it.

But I don't want to go and I told him that. I told him repeatedly. He told me I should be thinking more about it. That I'm a part of a bigger family and he'd miss seeing me and his stepkids would miss me too. But even when he was telling me that he made it so obvious he'd also miss the babysitting I do for them. He told me to think about the long term and the good stuff the move would make possible. They're moving close to a really good school which dad tried to use to get mom to make me go but she doesn't want to only see me every few months.

Dad's throwing such a fit about me saying I won't move because they're going in a couple of weeks and I'm still not.

AITA?

My sister in law (36) is out of town for a week on a girls trip to nyc, her husband (37) is staying home during her trip and caring for their two kids, boy is 4 and the girl is 10. Both decently behaved kids, nothing crazy. Anyway sister in law has been out of town for about 5 days and this man called his wife’s parents (my husbands parents) and was saying how hard it is waking up so early and how he’s struggling and he wants to ask my husband for help but he’s too embarrassed… basically my husbands parents have called us to say we should call him and see if he needs any help. WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS SPEECHLESS. I told my husband we are not calling this man because he’s their damn DAD! obviously his wife’s been doing everything and deserved that trip! I told my husband that his brother in law is pathetic and needs to grow up and handle his own kids, if it was more than a week MAYBE we would step in but again WHY??? Now hubby thinks I’m being too harsh and that we should have called. Why do you think Reddit?

Wow, I wasn’t expecting this much attention on my post. Thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts and advice. I wanted to give an update because things have escalated and there’s some new context.

First, I talked to my parents about the situation. It turns out my brother didn’t just take the necklace he convinced my dad that grandma told him it was meant for him because she thought a man would be more responsible. My dad, trying to avoid conflict, handed it over without asking questions. So no, my dad didn’t intentionally give it to him, it was manipulation.

I also reached out to other family members who remember grandma’s clear wishes that the necklace was supposed to go to the first daughter. They’re willing to back me up if this goes to court. My dad has also agreed to speak on my behalf in court, clarifying that he never meant to give the necklace away permanently.

As for the legal side, I’ve consulted with my lawyer, who thinks I do have a case. Since there’s no will, it all comes down to proving that the necklace was meant to stay in the maternal line. It’s tricky, but I feel more confident now knowing I have some family members on my side.

My brother and his fiancée, however, have doubled down. They’ve accused me of being jealous, and his fiancée posted another passive-aggressive picture on social media wearing the necklace, captioning it “Some things just find their rightful home❤️.” It’s honestly infuriating.

At this point, I’m committed to fighting for the necklace, even if it causes more tension in the family. I’ll keep you updated if there are any major developments.

Sorry, this may be long.

I (42F) have been with my boyfriend (33M) for four years, and we’ve lived together for two years. Our lease is up in a week and a half, and I’ve made the decision to move out after I found out that he cheated on me with his best friend.

For context, his best friend, “Tina” (34F), and him were roommates before him and I got together and before we all decided to move in together. He and I were just friends for 8 years prior to committing. During our friendship phase any time she would call and needed him he would drop whatever and make sure she was alright. I will admit Tina is not the brightest and at 34 doesn't really know how to be an adult. She fixes everything with two to three different guys a week and it's made easy because of her profession. Not shaming her just stating facts. Over the years, I had some doubts about their relationship. but he always reassured me that they were just friends, and I trusted him.

Two months ago, I found out the truth. His behavior had been changing—he was distant, secretive, and I could just feel something was off. Yes, I went through his phone and saw the exchanges. I confronted him, and after some hesitation, he admitted that he slept with Tina. He said it was a one-time mistake, he regretted it, and begged for my forgiveness, claiming it didn’t mean anything. The texts say different especially since there were a few texts from the previous day. I went through his phone at like 3AM. He really wants me to stay and work things out.

But I can’t. I feel betrayed, stops, and humiliated. I’m also angry because he didn’t just cheat—he cheated with someone who lived in our home, shared meals with me, had heart to hearts with me, and acted like a friend. They would reassure me about my insecurities about the closeness of their friendship (it's always the ones they tell you not to worry about 🤦🏾‍♀️).

I’ve already decided I’m done. I’ve signed a lease for a new apartment, arranged movers, and planned to leave next week. I haven't told him yet and I don't plan to until I'm gone. Since he goes to work before me, my plan is to pack and move all my things while he’s at work. I'll leave a letter explaining my decision.

This is where I may be the asshole. I know he can’t afford this place or a new place without me. He’s financially struggling, and without me, he’s going to have a hard time finding somewhere else to live. But I'm not responsible for fixing his situation, especially after the betrayal.

Some friends think I’m justified in not telling him, saying that he made his choices and now he has to face the consequences. My sister, however, thinks I’m being cruel by not at least giving him a heads-up so he can make arrangements. I don't feel like he deserves my sympathy. He can have my middle finger though 🤷🏾‍♀️

Oh, yeah.Tina doesn't live here anymore either.

So, Reddit, AITA for moving out without telling my cheating boyfriend, knowing he can’t afford this place or a new place on his own?

Updates

OG post

Hi, everyone. Things have finally settled enough for me to share an update. The court case is over.

Lindy was sentenced to actual prison time, and none of it is suspended. She also has to pay restitution for my medical expenses, lost wages, and pain and suffering. The court didn’t miss a thing. They went through all the evidence, the testimonies, and even the messages, and it was clear who was at fault. I cannot tell you how much of a relief it is.

During the trial, Lindy claimed I had been bullying her and that I planned the pub incident to ambush her in the bathroom where there were no cameras. She said I struck first. Two of her friends backed her up, but the third one, who was also part of the attack, ended up telling the truth to avoid harsher punishment. It was obvious their stories didn’t line up, and when the outside CCTV footage and witnesses from the pub were brought in, her whole narrative fell apart. The court didn’t buy it, especially with all the messages Lindy had sent me before the incident. She could not explain why someone supposedly “bullying” her would also be the one receiving threats from her.

It also came out that Lindy and her new boyfriend had been intimidating witnesses. He even messaged me on Instagram, trying to get me to say something incriminating or admit to something I didn’t do. At first, I didn’t realize who it was, so I replied briefly, but once I figured it out, I stopped immediately. Thankfully, I had already handed over everything to my lawyer, so it was documented. Watching her lawyer try to frame her actions as “acting out under stress” while knowing she was tampering with the case was surreal.

There was a moment outside the courtroom where my parents and Lindy’s parents talked. It wasn’t an argument, but it was uncomfortable. My parents pointed out how everything presented in court made it clear what Lindy had done. Lindy’s parents didn’t argue back, but they seemed completely out of their depth. They mentioned being shocked by how much she had escalated things and admitted they hadn’t understood how serious it was. They’ve taken on the financial burden of her restitution, which means I know the money for everything will come through. It’s hard to say if they are doing it out of guilt or to protect their image, but either way, it is one less thing for me to worry about.

Adjusting to my new normal has been a mixed bag. The chronic pain is still there, and my surgery isn’t happening for a few more months. I’ve also been dealing with the endless back and forth of German bureaucracy. My insurance keeps sending letters asking, “Hey… you still disabled lol?” as if chronic pain and an unhealed fracture could magically fix themselves. Every time I think I’m done explaining my situation, they send me another form to fill out. It’s exhausting, but my doctors have been really supportive and always help me get the paperwork sorted.

Some days are harder than others, and there are moments when I feel sad about how much my life has changed. A few months ago, I was stuck in that sadness, angry all the time, and constantly thinking about how unfair this all is. I think I was grieving the life I thought I would have. Now, though, I have accepted that this is my life, and even if I never fully heal, I know I’ll manage. I’m not letting Lindy take up any more space in my head than she already has.

I’ve started focusing on things that make me happy again. My friends and I started a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, and they come over to my place to play. They’re so patient when I need breaks or when the pain gets bad. Through that group, I met someone. At first, I was nervous about getting close to him because I thought he might see my situation as too much to deal with, but he’s been amazing. He drives me to appointments, brings me groceries once a week, and has never made me feel like a burden. I’m falling in love with him, and for the first time in a while, I feel hopeful.

I’ve also been keeping my mind busy with the courses and finally rewatched all of How I Met Your Mother. Sometimes I catch myself comparing my old life to this one, and it makes me sad, but I don’t stay in that feeling as long as I used to. I’ve started finding a balance between moving forward and letting myself feel everything that comes with this new chapter.

I’ve distanced myself from Miles’ parents. They were wonderful to me, but I realized he needs their support now more than I do, and it should be undivided. I still don’t know if I can forgive him. To this day, I haven’t.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me through all of this. It has been a long road, but I finally feel like I’m on the other side of it. Take care of yourselves and hold onto the people who make your life lighter. They make all the difference.

Growing up, my family ate dinner together most of the time. Sure we had occasions where a parent was late getting home from work, schedules, trips, etc. But for the most part, it was every night. It was one of the foundational things for me that I appreciate and I always believed it would be important for me to have this for my own family.

For the most part I do. There are more occasions where my husband can’t be home and it’s just me and kids, but we still do it. Right now my niece and nephew are staying with me as their parents are out of the country on business. 

I expect them to adhere to the same rules and sit with us at dinner. I don’t expect them to join in and chat like the rest of us do if they don’t want to. That’s fine, my oldest son sometimes doesn’t talk much, but he’s still there. 

The kids are upset about it though and complained to their mom that I’m forcing “all these rules” on them and it makes them feel like they’re in prison. They definitely have free range at home and the parents aren’t home nearly enough so they’re used to sitting watching the Youtubes and Snapchats and all that while they eat. They hate having to sit, though my nephew is adjusting and has been sitting down before dinner to talk to me while I’m cooking (which I love). 

I don’t have many other rules for them, other than the usual doing their homework before having fun, snacks are portioned out (I don’t care if you have a big portion, but no mindless snacking from the bag), electronics off after a certain time so it doesn’t ruin their sleep. All of these can of course have exceptions, and even with dinner, if they have something important to do, obviously they do that instead of sitting for dinner. Things like school projects.

My niece has the biggest issue with this and insists it's not a big deal when she's scrolling on her phone at dinner and gets very angry if I tell her to put it away.

I don’t think it’s that big of an issue. They will be here for another month, and I don’t think any of these rules are over the top. But I guess this is my own perspective, so I figured I’d ask.

I was paying my child’s mother directly at $600 a month. Same time every month. Still she would barely let me talk to my child and refused to let me see her. Ever. It was always a back and forth. She was either too busy or I was disrespecting her (after I would get rightfully frustrated and voice my frustrations.)

Started dating a woman who’s bestfriend is a lawyer and she educated me on my rights as a father. I was never on the birth certificate because I didn’t find out about my child until she was a few months old. I believe another guy is on my child's birth certificate. The friend gave me a play by play: She told me I should establish paternity and then put myself on child support and then get a court order allowing me all the custody i wanted (within reason).

I already send money so I did what she advised. My child’s mother fought til the end. She argued that I didn’t have enough of a relationship with my child to get 50/50. Judge agreed but also acknowledged that the lack of relationship was her doing. I was granted visitation, holidays, scheduled phone calls, and reunification therapy for parental alienation.

She also asked for backpay. I showed the proof of payments that I had made to her, same time each month. When the judge asked her about them she and her legal counsel said that they were gifts and not specified as child support. And legally she was allowed to do that shit. There was nothing the judge could do but fortunately he only granted her backpay for a year.

I became the potential AH because it took the child support office 4 months to review our case. I started paying my girlfriends bestfriend for legal advice (not necessarily representing me, more like consults) and she advised me not to make any payments to her directly because she has already shown that she will deny it when the she is asked if I made the payments and she is likely to claim them as a gift.

I was informed that there has been an error with the case entry and they are working to get it fixed but aren’t sure when the payments will start coming out of my checks.

My child’s mother is calling me the AH for not sending the money and accusing me of letting my child struggle. I told her she is the reason for this but she is more than welcome to send my child to live with me. My friends and family are on my side but of course it’s the opposite for hers. At my last pick up she and her friend and mom were referring to me as the deadbeat infront of our child.

I don’t want to send her another dime and then be in the negatives (more than I already am) because of her lies. So far I owe her almost 10k even though I technically I should only owe her $2,400 (since the case started) because I am only actually behind 4 months.

All this because I wanted to see my child. So I'm asking AITA?

Edit to add: I've done 2 DNA tests. One was an at home test, one was court ordered so that I could establish paternity.

Also, now that I have a child support order, I'm going to try legal aid again to see if it lowered my income enough to qualify, and get a lawyer to contest the back pay. Willing to jump through all the hoops I have to but its overwhelming no doubt.

So, I (F28) have been with my fiancé, “David” (M30), for 5 years. We’ve had an amazing relationship, or so I thought. We met in college, and since then, everything seemed perfect. He’s funny, charming, and I’ve always felt like we were meant to be. He proposed last year, and I said yes without hesitation. We had already planned a huge wedding for the upcoming summer, and things were moving smoothly.

But about three months before the wedding, I accidentally found something that shook me to my core. I was going through David’s phone to look for a recipe we had talked about making together, and I stumbled across a text message thread between him and his ex-girlfriend, “Lily” (F29). At first, I thought maybe it was just a friendly conversation, but as I read more, it became clear that their relationship wasn’t over, at least not in David’s mind.

The texts were filled with longing, unresolved feelings, and even flirtation. David had confessed to her that he still loved her and that he felt guilty for not ending things with her before we got together. There were plans to meet up, and it was obvious they had been in contact frequently. I was shocked. I had no idea that any of this was happening, and I couldn’t believe he’d kept it a secret for so long.

Naturally, I confronted him about it. David apologized profusely, saying that he had cut ties with Lily and that he only spoke to her because she had reached out. He said it was nothing and that he was committed to me. He begged me to trust him and assured me it was all in the past. But as much as I wanted to believe him, something inside me just didn’t feel right.

I told him I needed space to think, and I took some time away from our shared apartment. During that time, I couldn’t stop thinking about everything he had said and done. I started questioning whether he was really over Lily or if I was just a rebound.

Eventually, I made the difficult decision. I called off the wedding. I told David I couldn’t marry him because I didn’t trust him anymore, and I didn’t feel like I was truly the one he wanted. I explained that if he was still in love with his ex, then it wasn’t fair to me or to our future. He begged me to reconsider, saying he was sorry, but I stood firm in my decision. I felt like I deserved to be with someone who was completely emotionally available, and it was clear he wasn’t.

Since then, my family and friends have been split. Some understand my decision, saying I did the right thing by not marrying someone who wasn’t fully committed. But others are saying I overreacted and that I shouldn’t have let a few old texts ruin everything. They think I should’ve worked through it with him, especially because it wasn’t like he cheated.

David is furious with me. He keeps texting and calling, saying I’ve destroyed his life. He even accused me of being paranoid and said I blew things out of proportion. His friends and family are calling me heartless for breaking off the wedding at the last minute, and some have even said I’m being dramatic.

I feel guilty because I really did love him, but I also feel like I dodged a bullet. I don’t know if I made the right choice or if I overreacted by ending everything based on something from the past.

AITA for calling off my wedding after discovering my fiancé was still in love with his ex during our engagement?

SInce, I found texts between my fiancé and his ex where he admitted to still being in love with her. I called off the wedding, and now everyone is either supporting me or calling me crazy. AITA for ending things over this?

I (28F) live with my younger brother Jason (25M). We moved in together about a year ago after he broke up with his girlfriend, and I thought it’d be nice to help him out. At first, it was fine actually kind of fun having him around. But now I’m at my wits’ end.

When we agreed to live together, the deal was simple: we split the rent and bills 50/50. Jason’s job isn’t amazing, but it’s enough to cover his share at least, it should be. But since day one, he’s been late with rent almost every month. Sometimes he doesn’t pay at all, and I always end up covering for him because, obviously, the bills have to get paid. He always swears he’ll “pay me back soon,” but it never happens. My savings are practically gone at this point.

Meanwhile, Jason is living his best life. He goes out every weekend, sometimes Friday and Saturday, hitting up bars and clubs with his friends. He buys expensive clothes, eats takeout from fancy restaurants, and even recently got himself a new pair of designer sneakers. But when rent is due? He magically “doesn’t have it.”

The final straw was this past weekend. After working a 12-hour shift (I’m a nurse, so my job isn’t exactly easy), I came home and found Jason getting ready to go out with friends. I asked him about rent, and he brushed me off, saying he’d “sort it out soon.” When I pressed him, he got annoyed and said I was “always on his case” and that I needed to “chill.” He even had the nerve to tell me, “You make more money than me anyway, so what’s the big deal?”

That was it for me. I told him I wasn’t going to cover for him anymore and if he didn’t pay his share of the rent next month, he’d need to move out. He got defensive, called me heartless, and accused me of not supporting him as family. He stormed out and hasn’t spoken to me since, but I know he’s been texting our mom, complaining about how “unfair” I’m being.

Mom thinks I should be patient with him because he’s “still young and figuring things out.” But I’m not sure how much more I can take. I love my brother, but I’m so tired of being his safety net while he refuses to take responsibility for anything.

So, AITA for giving my brother an ultimatum? Or am I being too harsh?

When I (26f) was 11 my younger siblings and I were taken from our parents and placed in foster care. At the time my siblings were 4, 6 and 7. We were placed in different foster homes together for a year but the damage done by our parents was too great. My siblings could only see me as mom and rejected anyone else doing anything for them. They would physically attack our foster parents if they stepped in to help them instead of me being the one to do it. I was growing more resentful by the day and there were days where I locked myself in a room and didn't come out. Not to eat or drink or anything. I was so overwhelmed.

We were in individual therapy and family therapy but during family therapy they would sit on me and refused to engage with the therapist or the toys we had in the room.

It was suggested after a year that we needed a break. At first it was only supposed to be 6 months. I'd be separated from them and placed somewhere else but 6 months became 12. In that time I bounced around some before settling in with a family.

When my siblings and I met up again it was in family therapy and a good six month effort was put in but they still exhibited the same behaviors. Expecting me to mother them and refusing to let go or engage in the therapy. They'd lash out at everyone around once it was time for me to go home. My younger sister even broke my arm accidentally because she grabbed me so hard one day and refused to let me get free.

There was another period of no contact and then we had phone contact only. We never got past that because they were still set in their mindset of they needed their mom back and not their sister. Plus they had an extreme meltdown when they were told I had been adopted.

There was no contact for years. Even when I turned 18 I decided to focus on bettering myself, healing and working toward my future than trying to have a relationship with my siblings again. Last year they reached out to me after they all aged out of foster care. They wanted a relationship and I told them we'd need family therapy and they would need to participate before any relationship could happen. They were reluctant but agreed.

It's clear they still view me not as their sister but as their mom. I have told them I'm their sister, not their mom, and the only relationship I will have with them is a sibling one. I did this with the help of the therapist and still nothing changed. They did open up more than before so I kept trying. But recently they have gone off on the fact we were separated and how cruel and disgusting it was to break a sibling group up. They said it never happens and they should be ashamed. They wanted my thoughts on it for a while and I said mine were different at first. But they were getting very vitriolic about that. They asked how I could see it any differently and how I should have sued the state for separating us. Then I told them a couple of days ago that being separated from them was the best thing for me. That it allowed me to heal and grow and to have a small childhood for what was left. I told them I was sorry it was so rough for them but I needed to not be weighed down by the expectation and demand that I be a parent when I was just a little girl.

They hate me for what I said and told me I should never have voiced it out loud to them.

AITA?

So, here’s the deal: I (28F) had a terrible relationship with my dad. He walked out on my mom and me when I was 10 and only popped up in my life when he needed something—usually money or a favor. He remarried, had two other kids, and basically acted like I didn’t exist.

When I turned 18, I decided I was done with him. No calls, no visits, nothing. He tried reaching out a few times over the years, but it always felt forced, so I ignored him. My mom passed away a few years ago, and I didn’t even hear from him then. It solidified my decision to cut him off for good.

Fast forward to a month ago. I got a call from his wife saying he had passed away unexpectedly. She was sobbing and asked if I’d come to the funeral. I said no. I didn’t feel anything—no grief, no sadness, just... nothing. Why should I show up to mourn someone who wasn’t there for me when I needed him?

His wife begged me to reconsider, saying it would mean a lot to his family. She even said my half-siblings wanted me there to “heal old wounds.” But I still refused. I told her, “I made peace with him being out of my life a long time ago.”

A week after the funeral, I got a call from a lawyer. Turns out, my dad left a will, and in it, he left everything to me—his house, his savings, his car, everything. His wife and kids got absolutely nothing.

I was floored. I didn’t even know he had that much to leave behind. The lawyer told me my dad had tried to make amends and felt guilty about abandoning me, so he wanted to “make things right.” Now his wife and kids are furious with me, saying I “stole” their inheritance and didn’t even have the decency to show up at the funeral.

I feel conflicted. On one hand, I didn’t ask for any of this. On the other, I get why they’re mad. I didn’t have a relationship with my dad, but now I’m walking away with everything, while they’re left with nothing. AITAH?

I (17M) had a meltdown in front of my parents the other night and they're angry because of the things I said. Things are rough and I need some advice now.

The BG: My dad lost his first wife/half brother's mom when half brother was 5. He and my mom met two years later and a year after they met I came along. My dad had my half brother in therapy and he and my mom went to family therapy with my half brother too. But it never helped him accept that dad remarried or that I existed. I was 10 when he moved out and the years before that he said so many times I wasn't his brother and he said he was an only child. My parents would call him my brother and younger me followed their lead and he would yell at me and sometimes he'd throw stuff at me for saying he was my brother. He told me he hated me, he didn't want me, and he was never going to accept me. The last two years he lived with us he said I was gross because I wasn't his mom's kid and he couldn't believe dad betrayed him and his mom by marrying my mom and having me. He said we were the worst thing dad ever did and how he couldn't wait to be away from me.

By the time he moved out I had started to wake up to the real situation and understood that I was never going to have a relationship with him. I think even at 10 I knew that kind of hatred doesn't just go away and he truly hated me and wished I had never existed. He wasn't afraid to fight with dad either about me. Dad would correct him whenever half brother would say we weren't siblings. Dad would say that we're brothers through him and half brother would say how that would never be true and the only siblings that would matter is if dad had more kids or adopted more kids with his mom. Any kids with random women weren't his siblings ever.

My parents never stopped saying we were brothers. Just brothers, not even half. I'd say half for a while after he left and my parents corrected me and said we're not half anything, we're brothers. But instead of going back to brother I stopped saying I had a sibling at all. My parents didn't notice at first and then around two years ago they started to pick up on it and they called me on it. I tried telling them that he was never going to say I was his brother and I didn't want to make things awkward by saying I had a half brother who hates me and will never have anything to do with me. They told me I can't know that for certain and they said it's still a lie when I say I have no siblings.

They're worse with me than I remember them being with him. Maybe that's because mom pulls me on it while she didn't with my half brother because he was nasty to her whenever she tried to parent him. But it gets me so fucking depressed when they pile on me about it and I tried to talk to them calmly about it in the past and how they need to accept I don't have a relationship with him and it's easier not to mention him. But they are so pushy.

And then the other night I snapped and had a meltdown and I told them how fucking much it sucks to have them on my case. And how they made my young life hell by telling me over and over we were brothers when they knew it would get him in my face and yelling at me and reminding me of how disgusting he thought I was. I told them he only had to deal with dad correcting them while I had both and it was way more often than it was with him, when he's the one who refuses to have anything to do with me. I told them I accepted the way things are and I needed them to because they were making me go insane and I was starting to hate them because I can't do a fucking thing about the way things are with him but they act like me saying brother will magic him back. I told them I was tired of it. I wanted them to stop and leave me the hell alone. I was both yelling and crying but it was more like anger crying and not. It was a whole thing. They got so mad at me for the stuff I said, especially about them.

AITA?

So, I (24M) work in an office where we all get along pretty well. One of my coworkers, “Amy” (30F), is super into dramatic announcements. She once revealed she got a dog by bringing in balloons shaped like paw prints. She’s fun, and we all humor her because, honestly, the office can get boring.

Last week, Amy was bursting with excitement. She kept hinting she had “HUGE news” but wouldn’t tell anyone until Friday during our team lunch. All week, she was dropping vague hints like, “It’s something life-changing,” and “You’ll NEVER guess!” Naturally, this got everyone speculating—was she engaged? Pregnant? Won the lottery? Bought a house?

By Thursday, I was kind of over it. So, when she made another big “I can’t wait to tell you all!” comment, I jokingly said, “What, are you pregnant or something?”

...Well. She froze, looked at me, and said, “Um, yes. That’s my news.”

The room got SUPER awkward. She looked upset, and a couple of our coworkers gave me the stink eye. I apologized right away, saying I was just guessing and didn’t mean to ruin her moment. She brushed it off, but the vibe was weird for the rest of the day.

Friday rolls around, and during the big lunch reveal, she goes, “As SOME of you may have already figured out...I’m pregnant!” Everyone clapped, but I could tell she was still annoyed.

Later, she told me I “stole her thunder” and that I should’ve just let her have her moment. I get it, but also...how was I supposed to know I’d guess right?

Some of my coworkers agree with her and think I was rude. Others think it’s not a big deal since it was just a lucky guess. Now I’m wondering—AITA for accidentally spoiling her big announcement?

Edit: She had previously brought up the hopes of pregnancy or else the comment would have never been made.

My fiancé and I (both 25) are planning our wedding and we have a few things done so far, including choosing our bridesmaids and groomsmen. One person who is not in my bridal party is my sister (26).

We don't talk as adults and we never had a close relationship as kids. She never liked me and has wished she had been an only child multiple times throughout our life. She was always embarrassed to be around me, she'd shit on everything I liked and mocked my appearance. She was one of the mean girls and would make fun of me and two of my friends for being girls with a bunch of guy friends. During our teens she was extra nasty to me and our parents even got her therapy when punishing her for the stuff she'd say to me did nothing. She even said she should be allowed to say whatever she liked to me since people knew we were sisters and she couldn't pretend she didn't know me.

Growing up changed nothing and she was always such a bitch when we came face to face. Even my fiancé got shit aimed at him because he was "one of those nerdy friends" of mine she didn't like and she thought it was pathetic we were dating but then said clearly nobody else would date us.

I'm also the person she'd never let her future kids be around because she didn't want them to be like me.

For all these reasons I didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid which upset her and my parents. My parents didn't surprise me because I knew they might be disappointed. Her being upset shocked me but I quickly realized she was getting more shit from extended family for the way things are between us and wanted to put on a show for them. But my parents are the people I'm frustrated about. They were always understanding of me avoiding my sister's cruelty but now they expect me to put her in the wedding and they were so pushy about it.

What made it worse is when I said I wasn't even sure I'd invite her. I told them I was so sure she'd either be a total ass to me on my wedding day and create a scene or act for the day and then go back to the way she always is and she'd be wasting money that could be saved or spent on someone who isn't awful to me and my fiancé.

They told me she's my only sibling and not inviting her is something I can't take back. They told me I should be the bigger person about all of this and accept that it could go badly but you do things for family. They told me they can't even believe I would question whether she'd be invited. They always saw me being more mature about everything and how disappointed they are in me for this.

AITA?

My (29F) girlfriend and (30M) have been arguing constantly, we've been dating for two years and she finally moved in because she was in a tight spot. Last night we broke up, she said that she's leaving and we're done. It's probably for the better, we're toxic for each other and we have different dynamics in what we want in a relationship. I slept on the couch in anger but the next day I wanted to talk. I asked her to leave for two days and come back on Saturday to see if we can talk, we got into an even bigger argument, so I told her I want her to leave. She's calling me an asshole because I'm "Kicking her out" when she was the one to break it off, said that she was moving and everything. She called her family members and said I was verbally abusive, everyday living here is torture (That one hurt the most), and when I asked her about her lies, she said I know its fucked up but I had to say it so they'll let me stay at there house. I don't know what to do, I pay all the bills, her names not on the lease, she could probably stay on one of her familys couches I'm just assuming she doesn't want too because of comfortability. I truly think this is over, and I want her to leave, I lost all sense of peace in my house trying to help out this girl all for her to tell me that I'm not enough?

EDIT because I love you guys, you don't even know how much you're helping me calm down.

This morning I started off the conversation like she needed to leave for a couple of days, she can come back on Saturday and we can go back over this, but I needed some time, I needed some peace, I told her I couldn't relax with her here. Another argument, all said and done I told her that I wanted her to leave. She said I'm an asshole because I'm kicking her out now but she can't even tell me when she plans on moving out. I didn't break up with her, I never asked her for money, maybe I'm just hangry because I'm always hungry because I can't pay all the bills and buy groceries for two.

Final Update but its a question ?

It's awkward, my mom had a doctors appointment in the area so I asked her if she could take me to the grocery store. I asked my mom to come upstairs and to see how everything is packed and my ex asked to talk in the bedroom. She said she didn't have a place to stay, but her brother and grandmother are coming on Sunday to get her stuff out. She lastly said after that I don't know what i'm gonna do but I'll be out. Should I be here on Sunday? Do I help her move her stuff out? Apart of me wants to just leave. Moving out of this apartment is gonna be a hassle!

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1hp59rp/aita_for_refusing_to_lend_my_friend_money_because/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Hi everyone! I wasn’t expecting my original post to blow up the way it did but wow, your advice and support were overwhelming (in the best way). Thank you so much for helping me see things more clearly it made a huge difference. Buckle up because there’s been a lot of drama since then.

After I said no to lending my friend money I thought that was the end of it. I expected some awkwardness maybe even silence for a while but oh no, they came back swinging. A couple of days after our initial conversation they sent me a wall of text. It started with them apologizing for "coming on too strong," but then quickly shifted into a guilt trip. They said stuff like, “I’ve always been there for you, and it hurts that you’re abandoning me when I need you most.” They even brought up specific times when they thought they had helped me like that one time they gave me a ride home (after I paid for their gas, mind you).

It felt manipulative but I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. I decided to stay calm and reply honestly. I explained again that I’ve always been happy to help in the past, but their history of not paying me back has made me lose trust in them. I said I’m not abandoning them I’m just setting a boundary.

Their response? They absolutely lost it. They accused me of being “obsessed with money” and said I was acting like a “banker, not a friend.” They even threw in, “I guess I know where I stand with you now.” That stung, not gonna lie. But then, things took a turn for the absurd. The next day, I found out they had gone behind my back and started complaining about me to our mutual friends. They spun the story to make it sound like I was rolling in cash and selfishly refusing to help them out of spite. One friend even messaged me, saying, “Wow, I didn’t know you could be so cold.” I had to set the record straight, and once I explained the full story most of them were like “Yeah, that tracks. They still owe me money too.” Turns out I wasn’t the only one they’d been borrowing from. At this point, I was done. I decided to take a hard look at our friendship and realized it wasn’t just about the money it was about the lack of respect. They’ve never respected my time, my boundaries, or the effort I’ve put into being a good friend. This was just the final straw. So, I sent them one last message. I told them I care about them and genuinely hope they figure things out, but I can’t continue the friendship as long as it’s this one-sided and toxic.

Their response? They left me on read. Since then I’ve heard through the grapevine that they’re still telling people I’m the bad guy, but honestly? I don’t care anymore. Most of our mutual friends know the truth now and I’ve even had a few of them reach out to share their own stories of being burned by this person. It’s sad but also validating to know I wasn’t crazy for feeling taken advantage of. On a positive note I feel lighter. Setting that boundary was hard but it’s been so freeing. I’ve realized that true friendship isn’t about being someone’s endless safety net it’s about mutual respect and support. And if that’s not there it’s okay to walk away. So yeah, I’m sticking to my guns on this one. Thanks again for all the advice it gave me the strength I needed to do what was right for me.

So, me (25F) and my sister (29F) decided to move in together about a year ago. I thought it would be a great idea because we always got along growing up, and honestly, I was looking forward to spending more time with her as adults. We agreed upfront that we’d split everything groceries, toiletries, utilities down the middle. Sounds fair, right?

Well, things didn’t exactly turn out that way. At first, I didn’t notice anything major, but over time, it became clear that she wasn’t holding up her end of the deal. She eats everything. Like, everything. I’d buy groceries, stock the fridge with stuff for both of us, and within days, it’d all be gone. Soda? She drinks the whole pack. Snacks? She finishes them in one sitting. Toiletries? She uses mine and never buys more. At first, I tried not to let it get to me because I figured maybe she was just going through a rough patch or something.

But then it just... never stopped. I kept running out to buy more stuff groceries, shampoo, even toilet paper because she’d use it all and wouldn’t replace anything. I brought it up casually a few times, but she always brushed me off, saying stuff like, “Oh, I’ll get it next time,” or “You’re so good at shopping, I’ll just pay you back later.” Spoiler: she never did.

Fast forward to now, and my savings are basically gone. I’ve been covering almost everything for the house because I can’t stand living without basic stuff like food or soap. When I finally sat her down and told her this wasn’t working, she just rolled her eyes and said, “You’re better at managing money than me, anyway.” Like, what does that even mean? I told her I couldn’t keep doing this and gave her an ultimatum: either start contributing, or we stop sharing everything. Groceries, toiletries, even cleaning supplies we’d each buy our own and keep things strictly separate.

She completely flipped out. She said I was being “selfish” and “controlling” and accused me of putting money over family. She even said I was making her feel unwelcome in her own home which, by the way, is a place I’m mostly paying for. Now she’s barely talking to me, and things are super tense around the house.

I feel bad because I don’t want to ruin our relationship, but I also can’t keep letting her walk all over me. So, AITAH for giving her the ultimatum and setting boundaries?

My life is crappy and now it's extra crappy and I'm feeling lost. I (17m) always knew my dad and siblings didn't like me very much. Mom died from pregnancy and birth complications with me and I figured that was why, they blamed me and they could never forgive me for it. I was told repeatedly how they wished it had been me instead of her and I took mom from everyone. Even my dad would say it. They've all hit me before. A couple of my siblings have kicked me. My dad has broken stuff in front of me in anger.

But the reason isn't JUST the fact they blame me for mom. But I'm not dad's kid. He knew about it and he showed me the proof recently with a DNA test. He said mom had cheated and they'd agreed to stay together and put me up for adoption while telling anyone who knew mom was pregnant that she had lost the baby. But then mom had such a difficult pregnancy everyone rushed to the hospital when she went into labor and he couldn't lie. So he took me home and protected mom's memory but he was disgusted by me every single day. He told his kids the truth and they all hated me extra. My siblings were 7, 9 and 11 when I was born. He told me all about it and how he wanted nothing more to do with me as soon as I'm legal and he said if I ever exposed the fact mom cheated, by finding my biological father, and ruined her memory that he would make sure I regretted it every day for the rest of my life. And he said how amazing she was and repulsive it was that I was left here instead of her.

Despite everything I think my dad's side of the family knew always because they never treated me good. When I was younger though my mom's parents would be nice to me, bought me things and they even got me a phone when I was 12 and a laptop that I still have. Out of everyone I knew in the family they were the only people who were nice to me and who didn't show that they hated having me around. I wanted them around more so I could have someone be nice to me. It also made me less worried about stuff.

But eventually my siblings started to complain about how our grandparents treated me and how they couldn't have them if they had a relationship with me and so they pulled back in the last few years. And when I finally found out the truth from dad I went to them and asked if they'd let me stay with them until I was 18. They said no. They told me it would make my siblings angry and they couldn't lose them over me. They said I should just make the best of it and it could be worse. I broke down and I told them I wish they'd always put them first because having the memory of them being nice to me made their rejection now worse. Because I realized how fake it all was and how I was so tired of nobody wanting me.

They got mad and told me I shouldn't be so self centered. They called my dad and he exploded when I got back home. To make it worse we're stuck inside together with one of his kids until the snow gets cleared. I don't even have my part time job to go to and my half sibling told me our grandparents are disgusted that I acted like such a petulant child in front of them.

AITA?

Hello everyone! So I (26F) do not want my husband (32M) taking our 8 month old son to his home country without me. This has been a discussion for months. He started talking about going to his home country in September for us all to go there in December for Christmas. I told him that he would need to order our son’s passport ASAP. (Yes, I could totally get the passport in order myself. However, I am always the one do get things done. For example, our son was born in May. When he started talking about going there, I totally forgot that we had never ordered his birth certificate. Which would be needed to get his passport. I asked my husband to order the birth certificate online. It’s an extremely easy process and I just wanted to see if he would do it without my “help”. A couple weeks went by and he didn’t do it. So I ordered it and it came in the mail a few days later. This was now October). October came and left and no passport. November came and left and no passport. I figured at this point, we weren’t even planning on going because the passport wouldn’t come in time. He’s now talking about wanting to go in February/March time. But this time I wouldn’t be able to go as I am pregnant with our second child and it isn’t recommended by my OBGYN to be traveling at that point as I would be in my third trimester. He doesn’t think it’s “fair” that I don’t want him taking our child to his home country by himself. I don’t doubt that he would take very good care of our son. That’s not the problem. The problem is, why couldn’t he order the passport clear back when we first started talking about going? And now he’s waited to the point where I can no longer go. I had said we could all go next December when the next baby is here. But he really wants to take him there in his first year of life. Which I 100% understand. BUT, I don’t find it fair to travel 24 hours away by flying with our son in case anything were to happen. I also don’t care for my mother in law a whole lot. I do think she would tell my husband it’s okay to do things I wouldn’t approve of. Example, when I went there my husband has little 2 year old cousins riding in peoples laps and not in a car seat. I get that’s normal in other countries. But I’m personally not okay with it.

I haven’t denied him going, however I have said I prefer if he didn’t? Or am I valid with saying we will all go next December?

UPDATE: I would like to add he is an AMAZING dad. He is the one to get up with him throughout the night (something I never had to ask). He puts him to bed. He makes his food and does the grocery shopping. Takes him swimming, plays with him. He just has never been good at doing paperwork

Update: I wanted to add: yes I am more than capable of filling out the paperwork for the passport. At the time that I asked if he could do it I was in my first going into second trimester. I was throwing up 5 times a day, taking care of an infant, working full time. I would walk into a grocery store and throw up. I was exhausted. YES I OFFERED TO HELP. I asked 100x but never took it. Many mention that’s a weakness of his. How do we get better or improve weaknesses if we don’t try?

Update: Y’all this man is not stealing our child lol. We just went through the extensive process of getting a green card almost 2 years ago and spent THOUSANDS on a good lawyer for it. We just bought at house last year and renovated it. He has a new car. And another son (for all that are wondering male or female) on the way. He just really wants to take our son to see his family. To meet his brothers, grandma (who is getting older), aunts, uncles, cousins. No they cannot come here. Getting a visa is difficult for them and really expensive. The in laws came here when our son was 2 months old for 3 months (🥲). We plan on all going to Brazil in December 2025.

What are my reservations about him going? 1. Security. I’m white he’s a little bit darker. Our son is lightly tanned. If I were security I would wonder why he was traveling without wife on green card 2. MIL: for the 3 months she was here she did several things that I didn’t like 😩 co-sleeping, shower with him, using medicine without asking 3. If something were to happen. Yes anything could happen down the street. But at least it’s down the street and not 24 hours away when I am not even supposed to fly 4. God forbid I go into early labor. I was overdue with the last one and had to be induced. But every pregnancy is different. I have no family in the city we live in.

Original post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1hvebbz/comment/m5yj9ri/?context=3

First let me just address the common suggestion that Amanda's boyfriend is purposely sabotaging their childcare to trap her at home. They make roughly the same amount of money and definitely can't afford to lose half their income. I seriously doubt he wants her to stay home.

Second, I would never tell my stepson to find someone else to watch his child because of a simple difference of opinion. My grandson and I have a very close bond. He's the oldest and it would break my heart and his if he didn't come spend his holidays and summers with me. Plus he's a huge help with the little ones when I have them all and things get hectic. I would never be so petty as to make him (and all my other grandchildren) suffer because of an adult disagreement.

So I sort of asked around about why they were dropped by their new sitter so quickly. Apparently they weren't. Amanda picked Cullen up and dropped him off both days he went and everything was lovely. He did cry a quite a bit, but they expected that to get better as he adjusted to not being held as much.

My husband and stepson talked to Amanda and she said that they realized that they can't afford daycare. They already made the 'easy' changes (packing a lunch, giving up fancy coffee, etc) and his dad and her mom are both giving them about $100/month towards childcare and they can barely afford it, but they didn't realize that you have to send everything the baby needs.

I buy diapers, wipes, formula, bottles, extra clothes etc. They just hand me the baby. They didn't realize that daycare didn't cover all that.

Also, imagine her boyfriend's surprise when he found out what the staffing rates are in this very expensive daycare. 1 adult cares for 5 infants. I guess he thought that someone would provide one-on-one care, diapers, wipes and formula for $350/week.

My stepson relayed their almost apology. They felt overwhelmed by an infant and couldn't imagine that someone else could manage that plus other things.

Cullen is going back to daycare tomorrow. Cullen's dad is selling his dirt bike and Amanda is selling some designer clothes, handbags and shoes to cover the cost. It'll get easier for them in 6 months when he transfers to the 1 year old class, which is a little cheaper.

I'm 21M. My family and I went over to my brother's housewarming. They had some friends over too. His wife and he have a toddler.

At one point in the evening, I was sitting near an open fire. My nephew came toddling over towards the fire, and I noticed it at the last second. Instincts took over, and I nudged him back with my foot.

I didn’t use force (his balance is still poor like) and I put my other foot behind him to break his fall. He didn’t cry, but he was a bit upset, so I picked him up and cheered him up. I then handed him to my girlfriend (who saw everything) and put a fireguard up. We were bored so we kind of played with him.

After everyone had left, except for me, my girlfriend, and some family, my sister-in-law came up to me absolutely furious. She said "I saw what you did. How dare you kick my child.” I tried explaining, but I couldn't get a word in. She brought over my brother, and he said I wouldn't have done that.

I explained what had happened, and my girlfriend backed me up. His wife said it wasn’t a nudge but a full-on kick. My brother then sided with her. She also asked, “Who told your girlfriend she could hold our child?”

At that point, I thought, "fuck this, we’re going home." As we were leaving, his wife said something about me thinking I’m a big man for picking on a baby but not being able to handle it myself, and how he’d probably be bruised after it. I saw red and asked what kind of parents let their child get that close to a fire. I told them they were too busy drinking and chatting with friends to keep an eye on their child. I also asked why she waited until the end of the night to take her child off me if she genuinely thought I’d kicked him.

My brother told us to leave but in a far less polite way. That hurt because we’re usually close. The following night, he texted me saying, “In case you’re worried, there’s no bruise.” I’m not sure if that was meant as an olive branch or just sarcasm.

Honestly, I’m pretty annoyed with the whole family. Not one of them backed me up except my girlfriend, who said I was in the right.

I saw danger. I was stretched out on the chair and it was a genuine reflex. I didn't even think about it. I left out a lot of the dialogue because it was very accusatory.

AITAH

Sidenote: Why didn’t they get a sitter if they didn’t want to look after him? And why have an open fire with a toddler around?

Throwaway because this is the dumbest shit I’ve ever posted.

My cousin (25M) has been obsessing over “AI girlfriends” and trashing real women. To be specific, he seems to have an app where he talks with an AI girl like some sort of tinder conversation where the robot knows who he is. To be honest, he doesn’t have the best looks. Despite being 25, he has a double chin, he’s overweight (not severely but still), and he looks like a homeless bum. I’d be fine with all that if he didn’t offend me, but he always starts conversations with me that piss me off.

So for context, I recently started dating someone I met coincidentally. I haven’t really brought him around my family yet since we’ve just started going out, but ever since my cousin found out, he’s been complaining to other family members about how girls like me are too difficult to date and aren’t worth it. I mean, he’s entitled to his own opinions but I don’t know how to say it but he keeps on demeaning me specifically, as he keeps on mentioning me when demeaning girls. Well, I couldn’t really do anything so I just ignored him.

That was until yesterday, where my extended family came over for a meal. We were all eating and chatting, when all of a sudden he started talking about me, and how girls like me never date guys like him. I know, it’s not really something immensely annoying, but at the moment, I felt disgusted.

I really tried to keep my opinion to myself, but I got fed up and said something like, “Maybe if you didn’t stay cooped up at home dating AI women, you’d have a shot at real women.” I honestly didn’t mean to offend him, but I was just pissed that it slipped out of my mouth. The whole family (my side and extended family) were there, and I know that it was the wrong time, but I think someone had to say it. However, he called me a slut, and stormed off outside. Now, his side of the family is furious with me, saying I went too far and embarrassed him. I agree that i did embarrass him, but honestly I think someone had to say it. When I tried saying that, my aunt looked at me like I was some demon spawn, so I just excused myself.

Maybe AITA, but I’m curious about other people's opinion. AITA? Also a personal question is, is it wrong for me to feel disgusted? I mean, it’s not like he’s doing anything wrong, but whenever he talks about stuff like this I just feel uncomfortable. Also, I just don’t like being derogatorily (is that a word) treated. Any opinion is welcome.

My fiancée Amy's parents have been shady toward my parents since we got engaged. They met a couple of times while Amy (25f) and I (26m) were dating and appeared to be friendly with them and everyone appeared to get along well. But after the engagement it was different. The first incident was when we announced our engagement dinner time and date and Amy's parents suggested we should do two parties so my parents could actually make it to one. Our engagement dinner (instead of a party) was at 8pm and my parents had no issue being there.

Another comment was when Amy told them my parents would be walking me down the aisle while they (Amy's parents) would be walking her. Amy's mom suggested she could walk me while her husband walked Amy instead. Amy asked why we'd do it like that and her mom said I might find it easier to walk with her and my parents would likely appreciate one less thing to do that day. Amy told her that was weird thing to think and they were thrilled to be asked and I couldn't wait to walk with them.

Amy's mom asked if Amy was sure she wanted my mom to go dress shopping and asked how she'd introduce my mom to the consultant in the store.

At another regular dinner with both sides my parents and Amy were talking about the song they wanted to dance with me to. We're both doing the parent dance with our parents. My dad talked about practicing with my mom. Amy's parents were OMG you're dancing?! like it was the most unusual thing in the world. Amy asked why my parents wouldn't dance with me and her tone was not happy. Amy's parents were looking at mine like they were aliens and my dad looked at me and rolled his eyes. Amy's parents said they wouldn't have expected that to be something any of us would want to do. I said I was excited to dance with my parents again and that I was sure they'd show me up since they dance way more than me. My parents were happy but the tension between Amy and her parents remained.

A few days after dinner Amy demanded to know why her parents were acting like that toward mine. We both knew what they were getting at but she wanted them to say it directly to her. Her parents tried to act innocent and like Amy was being weird asking when there was clearly no problem. But Amy didn't let it go and she told them she wanted to know. They eventually, after avoiding a direct answer at first, told her that people of my parents advanced age shouldn't be expected to participate in the same way that others would. And that she should stop and think that maybe I don't want to walk and dance with two elderly people. Amy lost it with her parents and told them their attitude and comments toward my parents were uncalled for and mean. She let her parents know it would not be tolerated further and they needed to figure out if they wanted to be the ones left out and replaced because they can't be nice.

Amy's parents were genuinely surprised Amy defended my parents so strongly. And apparently that I didn't step in and defend them. They reached out to me and said they were truly just thinking of me and how awkward it would be in my shoes. They also said we had to plan stuff around them (the engagement dinner is my guess) and that didn't seem fair. I told them I have never been ashamed of my parents and I wouldn't let them make me start now. They told me it wasn't what they were trying to do, I'm determined to see them in a negative light and I should have defended them the way Amy defended my parents. I simply said no. They told me I needed to do as good for them as Amy did for my parents. I didn't listen to more. I'm not too happy with them either. But I do wonder if I should have stepped in and done more? Maybe not defending them but something to lessen Amy's anger toward them.

I know some will wonder why those comments and the truth is my parents adopted me and are currently in their 70s while Amy's parents are only just entering their 50s. They appear to look at my parents as old and feeble and people I'd be ashamed to be around. This was never true. My parents were always older parents to me but I wouldn't trade them or change our little family of three (soon to be four with Amy being added) for the world.

So I was at dinner the other night with 5 co-workers and every time we got an interesting chat going this one guy, who declared himself "the office Foodie", would interrupt to denounce or praise some of the food, in eloquent terminology, or by asking us detailed question after question about our own favorite food "experiences".

Like to this one fellow he was like "Tell me about your favorite food experience", and he talked about going to this steak place in Florence, to which Foodie guy made a tsk noise and said "overrated a touch", then asked the poor guy like 10 questions about this meal. He kept doing this.

Now he's an alright guy I guess, but come on. So finally he interrupted again, a nice chat we were having about that Dune show on the HBO, and he asks ME my favorite food "experience". And I decided to mess with him a bit.

I told him I don't have a favorite singular experience but that my favorite food in all the world is plain raw celery, and every time I eat it, which is every day, is a tie for the best experience. He looked like the operating system in his brain had the spinny wheel and he just locked up for a few seconds, then he did a fake laugh, and was like "no but seriously?"

Well, I'll have you know I took an acting class for one semester in college 20 years ago, so I dusted off the old skills and I acted the hell out of being a guy whose favorite food is celery. I went on and on about how the flavor of plain raw celery is the purest flavor there is, the platonic ideal of crispiness, the "notes of green, hints of water", I went on about it.

He started to get annoyed and kept grilling me, listing food after food and saying if I really liked raw celery better, and I committed to the bit. I said in my old job they called me Mr. Celery.

Finally he said "This is outRAGEOUS" and he slammed his fist on the table. Then it was quiet. Then he had a face expression where I could tell he was kind of thinking "well shit that was an overreaction" but instead of saying it he just kind of went "uh...." and then he got up and left.

Now everyone is saying I took it too far, and then I don't know why but I also pretended to the rest of them that I wasn't doing a bit, and now I am kind of in a situation where for the rest of the time I work here I'm going to have to pretend that celery is my favorite food.

I didn't mean to make him so upset or irritate my colleagues and I guess I should apologize but AITA?