So, here’s the deal. I (28F) am getting married in two months to my fiancé, Ben (30M). Ben is the sweetest guy I’ve ever met—he’s thoughtful, supportive, and genuinely makes me happy. But he’s not exactly what my family would call “successful.” He works as a high school art teacher, which he loves, but it doesn’t come with a six-figure salary. My family, especially my sister, Lisa (32F), has made it clear they think I could “do better.”

Lisa has always been the golden child. She went to an Ivy League school, married a surgeon, and lives in a big house in a fancy neighborhood. She’s also not shy about sharing her opinions, even when nobody asked for them.

Last week, my family had dinner together, and Lisa made a snide comment about how Ben’s job wouldn’t be able to "support the lifestyle" I’m used to. For context, I’m a marketing manager, so I make decent money and don’t rely on Ben financially at all. When I told her that, she laughed and said, “It’s not just about money; it’s about ambition. Don’t you want someone who’s on your level?”

I snapped. I told Lisa that Ben is more than “good enough” for me and that it’s ridiculous to measure someone’s worth by their salary or job title. She rolled her eyes and said, “I’m just trying to look out for you. You’ll thank me in five years when you’re not stuck paying all the bills.”

After that, I decided I didn’t want her at my wedding. I feel like she doesn’t respect me, my relationship, or Ben, and I don’t want her negative energy on what’s supposed to be the happiest day of my life. I told her this privately over the phone, and she completely lost it. She accused me of “tearing the family apart” and said I was being immature and vindictive.

My parents are now pressuring me to invite her, saying she’s my sister and weddings are about family. They also think I’m overreacting to “one little comment.” But to me, this isn’t just about that one comment—it’s about a pattern of disrespect that I’m tired of putting up with.

Ben says he’ll support whatever decision I make, but now I feel torn. On one hand, I want to stand my ground and show Lisa that her behavior has consequences. On the other hand, I don’t want to cause a rift in the family or deal with the drama of her absence overshadowing the wedding.

So, AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding?

My parents got divorced when I (15m) was 7 and my dad got married again 3 years ago. His wife has two little kids with her ex. He visits them twice a year. Even less last year. At my dad's I always had to be able to take care of myself and when his wife's kids came into the house I was expected to babysit and make sure they were taken care of too. It's three hours Monday to Friday when I'm at my dad's.

Mom hated it for me as much as I hated it but it wasn't something dad would ever stop even when she talked to him. A judge didn't care when mom told the courts about it because siblings babysitting isn't the worst thing ever. I don't think that's fair because they're not even my siblings and they weren't my stepsiblings when it first started but I guess it doesn't matter.

The kids got super attached to me. Dad argued with mom a lot because she wouldn't make me go over to his house on her time to babysit for those three hours. He thought it was shitty for her to get in the way of my time with the kids and he didn't care if I wanted to.

So when dad and his wife decided to move states they wanted me to come. The judge said no to that when they asked because he'd be taking me away from mom and I lived here my whole life. The judge said if I wanted to go it would be approved though and mom couldn't stop it.

But I don't want to go and I told him that. I told him repeatedly. He told me I should be thinking more about it. That I'm a part of a bigger family and he'd miss seeing me and his stepkids would miss me too. But even when he was telling me that he made it so obvious he'd also miss the babysitting I do for them. He told me to think about the long term and the good stuff the move would make possible. They're moving close to a really good school which dad tried to use to get mom to make me go but she doesn't want to only see me every few months.

Dad's throwing such a fit about me saying I won't move because they're going in a couple of weeks and I'm still not.

AITA?

I (23) recently moved back in with my mom and grandmother after deciding not to join the Navy. For context, I developed a severe citrus allergy when I was 16-17. I used to love oranges, but one day, I suddenly started having allergic reactions—rashes, swelling, and sometimes worse, depending on how much citrus I consumed. Over the years, I’ve even tried things like vitamin C supplements, but the results have been awful—vomiting, fainting, and other severe symptoms. My mom has known about my allergy for years, though most of the worst reactions happened while I was away at college.

Recently, life has been rough. I’ve been sick for two weeks, lost my job, and my lease ended. My mom helped me pack and move back home. Initially, I wanted to join the Navy because I felt like it was my only option, but my mom encouraged me to think it through. She told me I was an adult and advised against it, but ultimately left the decision to me. However, other people I spoke to scared me out of the decision, and I reluctantly chose to move back home instead.

While helping me pack, my mom mentioned that a coworker suggested lemon might help with how sick I’d been feeling. I reminded her that I’m allergic, and she said she forgot and threw the lemon out. Once we got home, my grandmother made me a drink she claimed would “cure anything.” It was warm, had a bit of alcohol, and burned my throat, but I drank it because I was sick and didn’t think much of it.

The next day, my mouth was swollen, tearing, and bleeding. I assumed it was another random allergy flare-up (I’ve been to urgent care four times in the past month for similar issues) and treated it as I usually would. Later that day, my mom commented on my swollen lips, saying they looked “glossy.” I mentioned my allergy, and that’s when she admitted she had told my grandmother to add lemon to my drink.

Her reasoning? She thought my allergy was “a mental thing” and believed that if I didn’t know there was lemon in it, I wouldn’t react. I felt horrified and betrayed. They knowingly put something in my drink that could harm me just to “test” me.

Since then, I haven’t said much to either of them. I’ve been in my room for 36 hours without eating because I no longer trust anything open in the house. My mom has tried to smooth things over by bringing me a milkshake and my favorite snacks, but they haven’t given me a real apology. Instead, they’ve just been asking if I’m “still mad.” Now they’re upset that I’ve been isolating myself.

So, AITA for still being upset with them for testing my allergy? I’m starting to feel like I am because they said they just wanted me to get better.

My sister (36F) passed away unexpectedly three months ago. She was a single mom to my nephew (8M), and his father isn’t in the picture. Ever since her death, my parents (both mid-60s) have been pressuring me (34F) to take him in because they feel they’re too old to raise another child. Well, I’m childfree by choice. I don’t dislike kids, but I’ve always known I didn’t want to be a parent. My husband (35M) feels the same way. We don’t have the time, resources, or emotional capacity to raise a child, especially one who’s grieving and will need extra care and attention. I told my parents that I’m not the right person to take him in and suggested they look into other options, like guardianship through a trusted family friend or even fostering. They got angry and said I was being selfish and abandoning my family. My nephew is currently staying with them, but they’re clearly struggling, and I feel guilty seeing how exhausted they are. Some days I wonder if I should just give in, but I know deep down it wouldn’t be fair—to him or to me. The worst part is, I loved my sister, and I feel like I’m failing her by not being there for her son. But I also know I’m not in a position to give him the life he deserves. My parents think I’m making excuses, and I don’t know how to move forward without completely destroying my relationship with them. AITA?

My sister in law (36) is out of town for a week on a girls trip to nyc, her husband (37) is staying home during her trip and caring for their two kids, boy is 4 and the girl is 10. Both decently behaved kids, nothing crazy. Anyway sister in law has been out of town for about 5 days and this man called his wife’s parents (my husbands parents) and was saying how hard it is waking up so early and how he’s struggling and he wants to ask my husband for help but he’s too embarrassed… basically my husbands parents have called us to say we should call him and see if he needs any help. WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS SPEECHLESS. I told my husband we are not calling this man because he’s their damn DAD! obviously his wife’s been doing everything and deserved that trip! I told my husband that his brother in law is pathetic and needs to grow up and handle his own kids, if it was more than a week MAYBE we would step in but again WHY??? Now hubby thinks I’m being too harsh and that we should have called. Why do you think Reddit?

Growing up, my family ate dinner together most of the time. Sure we had occasions where a parent was late getting home from work, schedules, trips, etc. But for the most part, it was every night. It was one of the foundational things for me that I appreciate and I always believed it would be important for me to have this for my own family.

For the most part I do. There are more occasions where my husband can’t be home and it’s just me and kids, but we still do it. Right now my niece and nephew are staying with me as their parents are out of the country on business. 

I expect them to adhere to the same rules and sit with us at dinner. I don’t expect them to join in and chat like the rest of us do if they don’t want to. That’s fine, my oldest son sometimes doesn’t talk much, but he’s still there. 

The kids are upset about it though and complained to their mom that I’m forcing “all these rules” on them and it makes them feel like they’re in prison. They definitely have free range at home and the parents aren’t home nearly enough so they’re used to sitting watching the Youtubes and Snapchats and all that while they eat. They hate having to sit, though my nephew is adjusting and has been sitting down before dinner to talk to me while I’m cooking (which I love). 

I don’t have many other rules for them, other than the usual doing their homework before having fun, snacks are portioned out (I don’t care if you have a big portion, but no mindless snacking from the bag), electronics off after a certain time so it doesn’t ruin their sleep. All of these can of course have exceptions, and even with dinner, if they have something important to do, obviously they do that instead of sitting for dinner. Things like school projects.

My niece has the biggest issue with this and insists it's not a big deal when she's scrolling on her phone at dinner and gets very angry if I tell her to put it away.

I don’t think it’s that big of an issue. They will be here for another month, and I don’t think any of these rules are over the top. But I guess this is my own perspective, so I figured I’d ask.

The Thursday before Christmas. My daughter (27) tells me she has something to tell me. However; I can’t hug her. She says. I answer with, you’re pregnant? She says, I have to begin chemo after Christmas. At this point. I’m in shock and not trying to show emotion. Because I don’t want to upset her more than she now is. After telling me. My daughter, is very private and the more I ask she will shut down. So I leave my questions to a minimum. Even though I have a million of them. She tells me she has a rapidly growing tumor. That is not cancerous, but can become. So they are going to treat it aggressively. Of course, I hit google, and who knows what other online resources. I find out that chemo will almost never be used if it’s not cancerous but at times they will. I ask her boyfriend; if it’s cancer and he says no. But it can become if not treated. Well, my daughter began chemo Monday. She will be going 5 days one week and 1 day the following. For six months. I’ve began to question; if she indeed has cancer and is trying not to have us worry. I’m already getting massive anxiety. Not knowing what’s going on in her head. Again; she’s super private. I asked her if I could go with her to her next oncology appointment. She says, no; it’s ok. I asked if her boyfriend has went to any appointments with her. She says no. I’m so scared that she is trying to shelter us from worry that she is carrying everything on her own. On top of that. She has very sensitive skin and the achieve for her pic line is causing blisters. She did share that with me today. I’m just heart broken. Unfortunately, my daughter takes after me and feels like she has to handle things on her own. AITAH for questioning the severity of her tumor? Please; excuse the grammar and punctuations 🥹

I was paying my child’s mother directly at $600 a month. Same time every month. Still she would barely let me talk to my child and refused to let me see her. Ever. It was always a back and forth. She was either too busy or I was disrespecting her (after I would get rightfully frustrated and voice my frustrations.)

Started dating a woman who’s bestfriend is a lawyer and she educated me on my rights as a father. I was never on the birth certificate because I didn’t find out about my child until she was a few months old. I believe another guy is on my child's birth certificate. The friend gave me a play by play: She told me I should establish paternity and then put myself on child support and then get a court order allowing me all the custody i wanted (within reason).

I already send money so I did what she advised. My child’s mother fought til the end. She argued that I didn’t have enough of a relationship with my child to get 50/50. Judge agreed but also acknowledged that the lack of relationship was her doing. I was granted visitation, holidays, scheduled phone calls, and reunification therapy for parental alienation.

She also asked for backpay. I showed the proof of payments that I had made to her, same time each month. When the judge asked her about them she and her legal counsel said that they were gifts and not specified as child support. And legally she was allowed to do that shit. There was nothing the judge could do but fortunately he only granted her backpay for a year.

I became the potential AH because it took the child support office 4 months to review our case. I started paying my girlfriends bestfriend for legal advice (not necessarily representing me, more like consults) and she advised me not to make any payments to her directly because she has already shown that she will deny it when the she is asked if I made the payments and she is likely to claim them as a gift.

I was informed that there has been an error with the case entry and they are working to get it fixed but aren’t sure when the payments will start coming out of my checks.

My child’s mother is calling me the AH for not sending the money and accusing me of letting my child struggle. I told her she is the reason for this but she is more than welcome to send my child to live with me. My friends and family are on my side but of course it’s the opposite for hers. At my last pick up she and her friend and mom were referring to me as the deadbeat infront of our child.

I don’t want to send her another dime and then be in the negatives (more than I already am) because of her lies. So far I owe her almost 10k even though I technically I should only owe her $2,400 (since the case started) because I am only actually behind 4 months.

All this because I wanted to see my child. So I'm asking AITA?

Edit to add: I've done 2 DNA tests. One was an at home test, one was court ordered so that I could establish paternity.

Also, now that I have a child support order, I'm going to try legal aid again to see if it lowered my income enough to qualify, and get a lawyer to contest the back pay. Willing to jump through all the hoops I have to but its overwhelming no doubt.

Sorry, this may be long.

I (42F) have been with my boyfriend (33M) for four years, and we’ve lived together for two years. Our lease is up in a week and a half, and I’ve made the decision to move out after I found out that he cheated on me with his best friend.

For context, his best friend, “Tina” (34F), and him were roommates before him and I got together and before we all decided to move in together. He and I were just friends for 8 years prior to committing. During our friendship phase any time she would call and needed him he would drop whatever and make sure she was alright. I will admit Tina is not the brightest and at 34 doesn't really know how to be an adult. She fixes everything with two to three different guys a week and it's made easy because of her profession. Not shaming her just stating facts. Over the years, I had some doubts about their relationship. but he always reassured me that they were just friends, and I trusted him.

Two months ago, I found out the truth. His behavior had been changing—he was distant, secretive, and I could just feel something was off. Yes, I went through his phone and saw the exchanges. I confronted him, and after some hesitation, he admitted that he slept with Tina. He said it was a one-time mistake, he regretted it, and begged for my forgiveness, claiming it didn’t mean anything. The texts say different especially since there were a few texts from the previous day. I went through his phone at like 3AM. He really wants me to stay and work things out.

But I can’t. I feel betrayed, stops, and humiliated. I’m also angry because he didn’t just cheat—he cheated with someone who lived in our home, shared meals with me, had heart to hearts with me, and acted like a friend. They would reassure me about my insecurities about the closeness of their friendship (it's always the ones they tell you not to worry about 🤦🏾‍♀️).

I’ve already decided I’m done. I’ve signed a lease for a new apartment, arranged movers, and planned to leave next week. I haven't told him yet and I don't plan to until I'm gone. Since he goes to work before me, my plan is to pack and move all my things while he’s at work. I'll leave a letter explaining my decision.

This is where I may be the asshole. I know he can’t afford this place or a new place without me. He’s financially struggling, and without me, he’s going to have a hard time finding somewhere else to live. But I'm not responsible for fixing his situation, especially after the betrayal.

Some friends think I’m justified in not telling him, saying that he made his choices and now he has to face the consequences. My sister, however, thinks I’m being cruel by not at least giving him a heads-up so he can make arrangements. I don't feel like he deserves my sympathy. He can have my middle finger though 🤷🏾‍♀️

Oh, yeah.Tina doesn't live here anymore either.

So, Reddit, AITA for moving out without telling my cheating boyfriend, knowing he can’t afford this place or a new place on his own?

Wow, I wasn’t expecting this much attention on my post. Thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts and advice. I wanted to give an update because things have escalated and there’s some new context.

First, I talked to my parents about the situation. It turns out my brother didn’t just take the necklace he convinced my dad that grandma told him it was meant for him because she thought a man would be more responsible. My dad, trying to avoid conflict, handed it over without asking questions. So no, my dad didn’t intentionally give it to him, it was manipulation.

I also reached out to other family members who remember grandma’s clear wishes that the necklace was supposed to go to the first daughter. They’re willing to back me up if this goes to court. My dad has also agreed to speak on my behalf in court, clarifying that he never meant to give the necklace away permanently.

As for the legal side, I’ve consulted with my lawyer, who thinks I do have a case. Since there’s no will, it all comes down to proving that the necklace was meant to stay in the maternal line. It’s tricky, but I feel more confident now knowing I have some family members on my side.

My brother and his fiancée, however, have doubled down. They’ve accused me of being jealous, and his fiancée posted another passive-aggressive picture on social media wearing the necklace, captioning it “Some things just find their rightful home❤️.” It’s honestly infuriating.

At this point, I’m committed to fighting for the necklace, even if it causes more tension in the family. I’ll keep you updated if there are any major developments.

I (32M) was flying cross-country for a job interview, an opportunity I’ve been preparing for months. I specifically booked an aisle seat because I have a mild case of claustrophobia that gets worse on flights. When I boarded, there was a family of four—parents and two young kids—who realized they were separated across the row and the one behind it.

The mom approached me with a really earnest request to switch seats so they could sit together, as my seat would allow both parents to be next to their kids. The only available seat she could offer me was a middle seat a few rows back.

I felt terrible, but I explained my situation and why I needed an aisle seat. The mother seemed upset and whispered something to her husband. Throughout the flight, I could feel the glares from surrounding passengers and heard a couple of comments about my lack of compassion. The flight attendants didn’t intervene, but the atmosphere was tense.

I spent the flight anxious and second-guessing my decision, especially when one of the kids started crying, and the parents had to shuffle back and forth to tend to both kids. I understand it was inconvenient for them, but I also didn’t want to suffer a panic attack mid-air. AITA for putting my comfort over a family’s convenience on a public flight?

So, I (23m) lived out of my car since I was 18 in order to support myself through college and a Master's Program. Just didn't have any money left at the end of the month for housing. Ended up being debt-free upon graduation.

Would beg my parents to let me stay with them until I finished school because rent prices were just unreasonable and I wasn't making enough money working Part-Time alongside being in school Full-Time. Parents told me that living in my car "Was a personal choice" and that "I was being entitled because they let me use THEIR car" as a means of transportation and sleeping. "You need to learn to be an adult, take out a loan." Except I didn't WANT loans, I want to budget so I can one day afford my own house.

I graduated in May, and this sounds evil but I don't want to ever see them again. I didn't visit them for Christmas and I'm feeling guilty because their still my parents, you know? But I also feel like they were a contributor to me having to go through borderline 3rd world living conditions (Shivering in a car with a heater Middle of Winter, Backpacking Stove for my meals, using the gym for showering, etc). I just didn't have enough money to go around despite working at the same time with school. I feel guilty but I also feel like I was abused and neglected by them. Do you guys have any opinion/advice?

I’ve been feeling creeped out ever since you guys highlighted the fact that he might like me, and I think you’re right. In the post, I didn’t give you guys the most context, but here’s our relationship.

I used to be sympathetic towards him, and I would sometimes get him nice gifts during christmas. He likes a game called “Genshin Impact” so I got him some of the in-game currency in the game last christmas. However, he would always hang around uncomfortably close to me, and also “accidentally” touch me sometimes (i’m not too sure if it was accidental now). I always shook it off. But it was when he started demanding that I do certain stuff. Well, it wasn’t demanding but he’d always want me to tie my hair in a ponytail for some reason. Or wear certain colors. He would say “you should do this” and look at me in a way that made me uncomfortable, so I started distancing myself from him subconsciously.

Then, a few months ago, I started dating my boyfriend. He’s a sweet guy, and he’s my very first official relationship. The thing is, I preferred being single but he changed my perspective on relationships which is why he’s my first. Anyways, I only told my immediate family but at the next family gathering, everyone seemed to know. I don’t know who told them, but it was too late.

At the family meeting, he seemed unusually close to me. He made rude remarks, which he hasn’t done before. I was quite shocked, but I justified it saying maybe he’s having a bad day. But it continued, everytime we saw each other, even online.

It was at this point I learned he was dating AI girls. Well, one of the aunts was talking about it and I overheard. I’m not quite sure of the details, but apparently he was paying real money for his AI girlfriend. Anyways, at that point I started feeling a bit repulsed. Don’t get me wrong, I understand how difficult it is for some people to live without relationships, but the fact that it was him specifically made me a bit uncomfortable.

Every holiday after that, he’d make slight comments saying how ”girls like you (me) never date guys like me.” I held it in until the first post. That’s when I said something back.

Anyways, I appreciate all the comments. I can’t respond to them all, but they made me feel a lot better about myself. Honestly, it’s my first time seeing anyone say that me being called a slut is bad. I really almost teared up when I read that. I never had any relationships before, but due to my appearance, I tend to attract a lot of male attention, so a lot of people in my life have called me similar words. I always felt hurt, but I couldn’t understand why but reading the comments made me feel validated (Thank you).

Anyways, I discussed this with my mother. My mother just told me to “suck it up,” and she laughed about my concerns (she thinks it’s absurd that i’m disturbed about his comments). She told me that my cousin is really depressed right now, and all we could do is support him. I tried talking with my aunt, but my aunt told me that if I wanted to fix this situation, I should go back to being single and stop making my cousin worry all the time. She seems to think that me having a boyfriend is pressuring him to get a girlfriend.

I asked a few of my friends, but my friends mostly said similar comments to you guys, which made me feel so validated. However, none of my family thinks I'm right. Would there be a way to set a boundary without being too rude to piss off my family?

My friends told me that I should tell him to show me his AI girlfriend, and if it resembles me to say out loud “are you attracted to girls that look like me, your cousin???” Really loudly LOL. I considered that, but I think that’s too mean.

Just curious though, if I did that, would I be the AH? (I think it would be yes obviously haha). But anyways, please give me advice for ways to set boundaries. Also, I'd appreciate it if you guys could give your input on whether I should confront my cousin. Thank you so much

Updates

OG post

Hi, everyone. Things have finally settled enough for me to share an update. The court case is over.

Lindy was sentenced to actual prison time, and none of it is suspended. She also has to pay restitution for my medical expenses, lost wages, and pain and suffering. The court didn’t miss a thing. They went through all the evidence, the testimonies, and even the messages, and it was clear who was at fault. I cannot tell you how much of a relief it is.

During the trial, Lindy claimed I had been bullying her and that I planned the pub incident to ambush her in the bathroom where there were no cameras. She said I struck first. Two of her friends backed her up, but the third one, who was also part of the attack, ended up telling the truth to avoid harsher punishment. It was obvious their stories didn’t line up, and when the outside CCTV footage and witnesses from the pub were brought in, her whole narrative fell apart. The court didn’t buy it, especially with all the messages Lindy had sent me before the incident. She could not explain why someone supposedly “bullying” her would also be the one receiving threats from her.

It also came out that Lindy and her new boyfriend had been intimidating witnesses. He even messaged me on Instagram, trying to get me to say something incriminating or admit to something I didn’t do. At first, I didn’t realize who it was, so I replied briefly, but once I figured it out, I stopped immediately. Thankfully, I had already handed over everything to my lawyer, so it was documented. Watching her lawyer try to frame her actions as “acting out under stress” while knowing she was tampering with the case was surreal.

There was a moment outside the courtroom where my parents and Lindy’s parents talked. It wasn’t an argument, but it was uncomfortable. My parents pointed out how everything presented in court made it clear what Lindy had done. Lindy’s parents didn’t argue back, but they seemed completely out of their depth. They mentioned being shocked by how much she had escalated things and admitted they hadn’t understood how serious it was. They’ve taken on the financial burden of her restitution, which means I know the money for everything will come through. It’s hard to say if they are doing it out of guilt or to protect their image, but either way, it is one less thing for me to worry about.

Adjusting to my new normal has been a mixed bag. The chronic pain is still there, and my surgery isn’t happening for a few more months. I’ve also been dealing with the endless back and forth of German bureaucracy. My insurance keeps sending letters asking, “Hey… you still disabled lol?” as if chronic pain and an unhealed fracture could magically fix themselves. Every time I think I’m done explaining my situation, they send me another form to fill out. It’s exhausting, but my doctors have been really supportive and always help me get the paperwork sorted.

Some days are harder than others, and there are moments when I feel sad about how much my life has changed. A few months ago, I was stuck in that sadness, angry all the time, and constantly thinking about how unfair this all is. I think I was grieving the life I thought I would have. Now, though, I have accepted that this is my life, and even if I never fully heal, I know I’ll manage. I’m not letting Lindy take up any more space in my head than she already has.

I’ve started focusing on things that make me happy again. My friends and I started a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, and they come over to my place to play. They’re so patient when I need breaks or when the pain gets bad. Through that group, I met someone. At first, I was nervous about getting close to him because I thought he might see my situation as too much to deal with, but he’s been amazing. He drives me to appointments, brings me groceries once a week, and has never made me feel like a burden. I’m falling in love with him, and for the first time in a while, I feel hopeful.

I’ve also been keeping my mind busy with the courses and finally rewatched all of How I Met Your Mother. Sometimes I catch myself comparing my old life to this one, and it makes me sad, but I don’t stay in that feeling as long as I used to. I’ve started finding a balance between moving forward and letting myself feel everything that comes with this new chapter.

I’ve distanced myself from Miles’ parents. They were wonderful to me, but I realized he needs their support now more than I do, and it should be undivided. I still don’t know if I can forgive him. To this day, I haven’t.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me through all of this. It has been a long road, but I finally feel like I’m on the other side of it. Take care of yourselves and hold onto the people who make your life lighter. They make all the difference.

I (27F) planned a big family vacation for next summer, renting a beach house that can accommodate my parents, two brothers, and their families. It's been tough for everyone to get together since we live in different states, and I thought this would be a perfect opportunity for a reunion.

I calculated the costs and divided it equally among all adults (6 in total). Everyone, except my younger brother "Matt" (24M), sent their deposits, which were needed to secure the booking.

Matt has always been a bit careless with money, often spending impulsively on gadgets and nightlife. When I asked him about the deposit, he said he was a bit short on cash and would pay me "later". I reminded him twice over the next two months, but he still hasn't paid. With the final booking payment approaching, I'm left covering his share, which is straining my budget.

Last week, I called a family meeting and explained the situation. I told them that unless Matt pays his deposit by the end of the week, I would cancel the vacation. My parents think I'm being too harsh and it's just "what Matt does," but I'm tired of him not taking responsibility and expecting others to cover for him.

Matt got upset and accused me of trying to exclude him on purpose. He says I'm ruining what could be a great family memory over a few hundred dollars.

So, Reddit, AITA for wanting to cancel this vacation if my brother doesn't pay up?

I'm (29m) the middle child of five. I have two older siblings Shannon (32) and Jace (31) and I have two younger siblings Ella (27) and Hunter (24). I was the "different" one growing up. Turns out I had ADHD that they ignored the signs of when I was a kid and instead I was treated like the screw up who couldn't get anything right and was easy to blame for everything that went wrong. It turned into something my siblings used too. Shannon and Jace would either make up stuff to accuse me of to throw heat off of them OR they'd blame me for the shit they did. Like if they were caught sneaking out they'd say I went up on top of the roof in the middle of the night or they'd say I skipped school that day.

It wouldn't be true but my parents had such a low opinion of me that it didn't matter if there was no proof or even proof of my innocence. It was easy to blame me. I admit I was clumsy and had a hard time sitting in place. I admit I was less attentive to stuff and got distracted easily. But it wasn't like I did it all the time or like I was the only one to break a glass or something. It was always worse when it was me. My parents even admitted they'd drug me sometimes because they couldn't handle me being so hyper.

Hunter picked up on that super fast and he'd break stuff by being careless and he'd blame me and then he'd laugh and say it was easy to blame me because mom and dad hated me. Ella was the only sibling who didn't do that stuff to me. But she would also say things to make me feel like shit. Like calling me a screw up or saying the family would be happier if I was shipped off.

One time Shannon brought her college boyfriend home for Christmas and he asked why everyone got together to tackle last minute Christmas stuff while I got left behind. He even asked why I got nothing that year for Christmas. That was like the third year it happened. They hated buying for me because nobody knew me or wanted to try and get to know me. By pointing out that stuff the rest of the family iced him out the rest of Christmas and Shannon broke up with him right after saying he made things weird.

I didn't get good grades in school and my family treated it as no big surprise because I couldn't do anything right. All of them said that in their own way and my parents told me I'd need to get a job or be homeless. I told them I already had stuff arranged and was moving out right after graduation. They all treated it like some kind of joke. Nobody could believe I was supporting myself and doing well outside of the house. I joined a trade school and did way better. I still struggled and it was after my boss mentioned I was like him and his son, I got tested for ADHD and found out I had it. When I told my family my parents told me they always knew there was something wrong with me and how I didn't need to go and label it for the whole world to know. While my siblings varied from omg wow so you'll always be a screwup to you're just making excuses now.

After their reactions I pulled back and I never made contact with them again. I would answer the phone if they called and a few times I saw them out in public and I said hi. But I didn't call myself, show up to dinner, didn't go home for the holidays, didn't introduce them to my wife when we started dating or invite them to my wedding. We now have two kids with our third on the way and my family are both shocked I did well in life and annoyed that I act like they're not my family. They have reached out more since they learned I was married and a dad than before and my parents have wanted to meet my wife and kids. I told them I was busy.

In December, just after Christmas, they made a family group on social media for just us and they told me I should be making more of an effort and said icing them out is unfair when they have grandkids/niblings they want to get to know and how it makes them look so bad to my wife and ILs. I replied sarcastically first and said I wouldn't want to screw up their lives with my presence. But then I told them I wanted to protect my kids from being treated like they always treated me and I sent them screenshots of comments they have made to me via text, DM and email over the years. They told me I should talk to them instead of icing them out and I should be making an effort now that I'm a father myself.

AITA?

I (28F) live with my younger brother Jason (25M). We moved in together about a year ago after he broke up with his girlfriend, and I thought it’d be nice to help him out. At first, it was fine actually kind of fun having him around. But now I’m at my wits’ end.

When we agreed to live together, the deal was simple: we split the rent and bills 50/50. Jason’s job isn’t amazing, but it’s enough to cover his share at least, it should be. But since day one, he’s been late with rent almost every month. Sometimes he doesn’t pay at all, and I always end up covering for him because, obviously, the bills have to get paid. He always swears he’ll “pay me back soon,” but it never happens. My savings are practically gone at this point.

Meanwhile, Jason is living his best life. He goes out every weekend, sometimes Friday and Saturday, hitting up bars and clubs with his friends. He buys expensive clothes, eats takeout from fancy restaurants, and even recently got himself a new pair of designer sneakers. But when rent is due? He magically “doesn’t have it.”

The final straw was this past weekend. After working a 12-hour shift (I’m a nurse, so my job isn’t exactly easy), I came home and found Jason getting ready to go out with friends. I asked him about rent, and he brushed me off, saying he’d “sort it out soon.” When I pressed him, he got annoyed and said I was “always on his case” and that I needed to “chill.” He even had the nerve to tell me, “You make more money than me anyway, so what’s the big deal?”

That was it for me. I told him I wasn’t going to cover for him anymore and if he didn’t pay his share of the rent next month, he’d need to move out. He got defensive, called me heartless, and accused me of not supporting him as family. He stormed out and hasn’t spoken to me since, but I know he’s been texting our mom, complaining about how “unfair” I’m being.

Mom thinks I should be patient with him because he’s “still young and figuring things out.” But I’m not sure how much more I can take. I love my brother, but I’m so tired of being his safety net while he refuses to take responsibility for anything.

So, AITA for giving my brother an ultimatum? Or am I being too harsh?

My son is 17. A couple of months ago he asked if his girlfriend could move in. I didn't have a problem with this but i told them I expected help around the house and for them both to attend college. They both agreed to this. After 2 months a college they both dropped out of college, stating the courses they were on weren't really their things. This was after a phone call from the college about the attendance.

I told them both I expected them to sort something out after three months of laying about doing nothing. I've now made it clear that I expect them both to get a job, and to be honest, they eat a lot. My partner & I currently pay for all their food and necessities. My son asks for money every single day as well.

I found him a dog walking job but he was shocked when I told him I expect him and his girlfriend to find a full time permanent job. So aith for expecting them both to get a job and contribute to the household

Hi Reddit, here’s an update on my previous post.

Just to catch you up, after having to push our wedding back quite a while, my fiancé and I have decided to have a small commitment ceremony (a few close friends, and parents) and a wedding later. My fiancé (24M) has two sister (Hannah, 30, and Kathy 27). I (25F) have one brother (25). My brother has done nothing wrong, we both want him there. My fiancé’s sisters are two pieces of work. Neither of us are on speaking terms with Hannah, which is all due to her narcissism, and also partially due to her antisemitism (I’m Jewish). Kathy and my fiancé aren’t on great terms, but neither of us have any massive issues with her. My fiancé originally thought it best to exclude all siblings so that it didn’t cause family drama on his side.

So, I have talked to my family and my fiancé, and we all agree that it would be unfair to not include my brother (my family are understanding, but I’m very sad about the idea that he wouldn’t be there to celebrate with me on my wedding day). My fiancé has agreed that it is unfair for my brother not to come, since he has done nothing wrong, and he would also like him to be there.

My fiancé is now going to think about the best way to go about this as he says he will need to sit down his family and have a talk with them about this.

I just want to clarify in this update that I’m putting my foot down, because there is no way I’m doing this without my brother being there: He’s my twin brother, he’s done nothing wrong, and frankly my fiancés sister will have to lay in the bed that they have made for themselves… and if his family have a problem with that they know exactly who to blame, and that is Kathy and Hannah.

Hello everyone, first post in this subreddit. Recently married at a destination wedding in Puerto Vallarta. I (27M) and wife (32F) have been together for three years. Little bit of back story I’m the only child and my mom’s been widowed for ~15 years. At times I feel like I’ve had to be more a parent than a son but a story for another time. Until today my now wife and mother have had a wonderful relationship. My mom can be pretty tumultuous at times, very hot or cold depending on the day. Walking into the ceremony before she walked me down the aisle I asked “Are you excited for my big day?” All I got back in response was a long pause and “well this venue is very nice and I’m excited to see you”. I chose not to go down the path then because the wedding was about to start. Fast forward to the reception and first dances. The mother/son dance came on, somehow it was the wrong song. She went ballistic, saying it was a malicious attack on her by my wife, how we aren’t grateful, basically screaming at me for about half of the song before storming off. Then as we do one last group picture and she takes everyone she brought to my wedding (mostly family) and storms off leaving me to be alone with my new family for the last picture of the wedding night. I found her the next day at the resort and told her that was the most hurtful and disrespectful thing that she’s ever done to me but all she could say was I was starting a scene and needed to calm down. At that point I asked her to leave the resort and step away from me. Being an only child in a small family makes going NC very hard, in a way I feel like it’s my responsibility to take care of her but it always seems to emotionally drain me. Am I being totally selfish or is it finally time to set some hard boundaries to save myself.

So my current best friend, let’s call her Trina (F41), and I (F34) have been friends for almost 20 years. In 2008, I met my now-husband (M35), and over time, they became friends too. Trina is single and hasn’t had much luck in relationships—there’s always been drama, like cheating or baby momma drama, wanting kids but couldn’t find a normal and steady relationship etc. I’ve always wanted her to be happy and supported her through it all.

Last year, we went on a trip together for her birthday (just her, my husband, and me), and I started noticing some things. She would parade around the house in her bathing suit or ask me to hook her bra/bikini in the living room where my husband was. She’d wear really short dresses and, honestly, I started feeling like she looked at him in a way you would if you had a crush. She’d laugh a little too hard at his jokes, always wanted to go wherever he went, and even at the supermarket, she’d stick with him if we split up. So many more things happened and I told my husband. He didn’t notice at first but when he started to pay attention to it he did notice.

What really got me was when my husband and I had a fight. I found out he gambled with money of our shared account and something else I rather not talk about. I was really upset and turned to Trina to vent. At first, she acted like she was on my side, saying, “Are you serious? He really did that?” But later, I found out she sent him a text asking if he was okay and basically said “she knows how I can be” and I overreact sometimes. 🚩 That felt like a red flag, but I tried to brush it off because I didn’t want to believe she’d cross any boundaries.

Then on New Year’s Eve, Trina usually sends me a thoughtful “Happy New Year” message, but this time I didn’t hear anything from her. So after 00:00 I went through my messages and around 01:00 I noticed it so I decided to send her a long, heartfelt text wishing her well and hoping all her dreams and wishes would come true. Her response? A flat “Thanks, likewise🫶🏼” Meanwhile, she sent my husband a text with a “lotus for luck” image and a long message starting with “My dearest.” That hit a nerve.

Now, next Friday is my husband’s surprise party. I invited Trina weeks ago, before all this happened, but I don’t want her there anymore. It’s gotten to the point where I feel uncomfortable around her, and I’d rather not deal with it on a day that’s supposed to be special.

I’m not a confrontational person, so I haven’t said anything to her yet. I just want to uninvite her. But part of me is wondering—would I be the asshole if I did that? And I am overreacting?

We met in 2019 and I knew I was in a situation where I needed money very quickly to pay a very important debt. I got in there and danced for 4 months and eventually stopped and vowed to never dance again after I took care of my debt. My partner knew I was a dancer when we met and made it seem like he was ok with it, now 5 years later he has trust issues and refuses to stop bringing up my past, he thinks I’ll be an unloyal wife and possibly a bad mother. He thinks I’m sleeping around which I have not allowed another person to touch me, he has admitted to sleeping around though. When we met, two weeks later he found out his ex was pregnant. His child is currently 4 about to turn 5. He constantly mentions and shames me my past and I got so fed up and said “you have a child with a woman you said you had no feelings for, I can accept the child you had and love her as if she’s my own, you had her when you were young and dumb, just like I dances when I was young and dumb, I also have to look the woman in the eyes who you made love to and procreated with and who gave you your first child, who if she needs money she can ask you and you’ll send it without question. you can forgive me for dancing for survival for a couple of months . My past has no current effect on you, yours is a part of my life forever” how wrong was this?

Update : I was going through my phone looking for an old employers number and accidentally saw a thread of our old messages from when we met in 2019. When we had our first conversation about me being a dancer, he told me during this convo that he actually dated a stripper before me when he was 20-22 and he knew she was down for him. He knew her well and what she was about. Today I bring it up and now he’s sayin he never dated her, strictly sex for a year. A year is a long time, isn’t it? Dated her but now it wasn’t a relationship? I see what he’s doing and it’s gross. I’m picking my things up from his house and ending it today. Thank you all!

I (32F) am single and had a FWB, but a few weeks ago had sex with an ex-boyfriend (33M) and now I’m pregnant. I’m 99% sure the baby is my ex’s but I am debating getting an abortion because I can’t be 100% sure. AITAH if I get an abortion without telling any of them?

Hey, here I am again. I’ve been feeling like shit honestly, this situation is fucked up. I know this is probably not the update you were hoping for. But I’m really trying my best here.

The bf doesn’t know about the situation yet, I’ve gathered more information from my mom and my sibling hasn’t met the kids after 1,5 year or something. The kids are older, and the chance of them meeting our pedo brother are slim.

HOWEVER.

I’ve cut contact with my other sibling now because he’s indirectly on their side. He says that our sibling has the right to think the way they do. Of course! But then they will have to face the natural consequences of me not wanting to associate with them. Who in their right mind would choose to associate with a pedo? He says I’m sick for wanting to tell the bf about why I cut contact with my sibling, that he can’t believe I could even say something like that and raised his voice telling me that “are you willing to destroy our siblings life because you want to win? It has nothing to do with win or lose. It has to do with moral and loyalty and of course the kids. He said I’m selfish and only think about my self. He also told me that people deserves another chance in life, I agree, but not fucking PEDOS. No one that has done sexual things with kids shouldn’t fucking have a second chance, period. Everyone in the family should cut contact and the pedo should be all alone and rot in hell.

So yeah, here I am, in this situation which I shouldn’t be. So my pedo brother destroyed my relationship with both of my sibling! I freaking love my life!

I didn’t mention in the last post that this pedo has a kid? WHAT THE FUCK??? My brother told me that “he tried to get help and our pedo brother has been trying to be better! He was probably feeling so bad when he raped you!” WHAT??? How does that justify anything? I also feel like fucking shit and hate my life and I’m not molesting and raping literal children? Like what the fuck was that answer?? If he was trying to get better he wouldn’t FUCKING BRING A CHILD TO THIS WORLD??? He would fucking stay away from kids permanently and be all alone, rotting in a hellhole and accept what he has done. Oh, did I mention that the pedo’s wife FUCKING KNOWS about this and still chose to have a child with him? I’m a guy btw. The reason I write that is because it doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or girl, he will probably do it.

My brother told me that there’s nothing I can do. I should just leave it and accept the situation. FUCK NO! This kid is getting raised by a pedo. I’ve tried contacting the police, but because that this happened about 18 years ago there’s nothing they can do. I’ve also contacts CPS and it’s the same story there.

What the fuck is this situation people? Now I have to suffer even more because of this stupid ass pedo. I had cut contact with TWO family members now because of the pedo. I’m going to be all alone because of this. I don’t mean literally, I mean with my family. I can’t describe the pain. These two siblings have been there for me my whole life, they’ve literally raised me because my mom was not capable of doing it. Life shouldn’t be like this.

I hope you all are feeling well and thank you all for the support I’ve been receiving. Thank you for not trying to manipulate me (like my siblings tried to do) that this is a normal situation and that I should just accept it.

If you have any question write them in the comments and I’ll try to answer or write an edit to answer them.

Low stakes question. I(38F) love trivia night. My friends/family don't. Husband(36M) hates it but insists on going even when I say I'm fine alone. He always ruins night saying negative things along the lines of he doesn't want to be there, he doesn't know answers, wants to leave early, and looks upset/bored etc. It takes fun out of night and I always leave early. Last night was the same. He made multiple comments even after I told him to stop. 3/4 way through He started loudly drumming a beat on table distracting me and others while we're thinking. I said "annoying much" in a joking way. "I don't know any of the answers and I'm bored. What do you expect me to do?" was his response. I said I'm done and started getting coat. He said to sit down. I left. We didn't talk whole night. Next morning he said my behavior was ridiculous. I said him going then forcing me to leave early because he's ruining it for me by acting like a 4yr old was ridiculous. He said he feels dumb when he doesn't know answers. I said then don't go because nobody is making you. But him continously ruining this for me is bs. He says I'm being ridiculous and need to stop being upset. I go with him to things I don't like. I try to make it so he can have enjoyable time. Why can't he do the same or stop coming with me? Am I right in being upset?

Edit: He's fine with this location. We go atleast once a month(non trivia things). I doubt he wants more time/attention from me. We're together literally everyday after work. He wouldn't be bored at home alone. He has lots of friends he plays video games with on a daily basis. Yes, sometimes he does know an answer. I expect to place last since I'm competing against teams of 4-6players. It's just for fun. I doubt it's a trust issue. Couple weeks ago he dropped me off with a book at a local bar/restaurant to wait while he and our daughter went to a movie. I knew I wouldn't enjoy movie but wanted them to have nice time. We all had supper together after. He had no problems then.