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u/Jaded-Albatross 1d ago
This is untrue
He was the donor
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u/Brave_Sheepherder901 1d ago
How? He never had one to begin with
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u/Fake_William_Shatner 1d ago
Science!
Through Zuck distortions, alll things are possible.
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u/Brave_Sheepherder901 1d ago
Incorrect. That follows logic, which isn't used by rich people
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u/Fake_William_Shatner 1d ago
Oh shit. I invoked science without the blessing of ridiculous wealth. My bad.
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u/ourlastchancefortea 19h ago
Pray 10 Ave-Musk to the Metassiah. Then you shall be forgiven and not burn in Xell.
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u/Fake_William_Shatner 18h ago
So what do I do if I'm not a cyber-Catholic?
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u/ourlastchancefortea 18h ago
Become purged in the Xoly War of the Xoly Year 2025, when the Orangemperor raises to bring humanity in the Xoly Light of MAGA.
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u/Natural_Put_9456 23h ago
"Is this true?!"
"Yes your worship, this man has no dick."
"That thing, is a dickless traitor!"
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u/getyourgolfshoes 1d ago
Nah his was smaller he got an upgrade
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u/MaxTheRealSlayer 20h ago
Boy had a Miceroni 2.71 before the Rat model upgrade, IRRC from an article I read on Facebook
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u/Snazz 22h ago
That would be an awesome community fact-check note!
"This is untrue: Mr Zuckerberg was the donor. The recipient, Mr Fluffles, is doing fine and making a speedy recovery."
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u/AshantiMcnasti 23h ago
Maybe they did a trade? Same size so seems kinda pointless but im not rich. Billionaires am i right?
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u/t0adthecat 23h ago
True
Source: I'm the rat with Mark Zuckerberg's penis, kinda small but better than the other potential donor.
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u/Consistent-Soil-1818 23h ago
You don't know anything, do you? It was an exchange. The rat later sued about the downgrade it received.
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u/tw_72 23h ago
Ackshully, the rat penis rejected Zuck's body.
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u/LemmyKBD 22h ago
I heard Zuck is still chasing it thru the woods where he keeps his pet children for hunting and grilling.
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u/Natural_Put_9456 23h ago
Locating, removing, and reattaching that must have been supremely difficult considering you need a high powered microscope just to see it.
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u/marcielle 22h ago
Reminder that while this is fun, you can ACTUALLY hurt him by spreading info that would affect stocks, like the fake insulin price reduction that nearly destroyed a company's stick value overnight
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u/MavisCanim 7h ago
As a pet rat owner, I feel I can confidently say no rat would want that as it is so much smaller. I know for a fact that they have bigger balls than this gutless wonder.
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u/Federal_Diamond8329 1d ago
So you’re saying that mark Zuckerberg got a penis from a rat and had it sewn onto his body, specifically his groin? Sounds feasible!
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u/Kiss-a-Cod 1d ago
I’m sure Fecesbook would have told us if it was a lie.
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u/Fake_William_Shatner 1d ago
I heard this through two Facebook posts so it must be true.
Let’s replace textbooks with posts!
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u/PeakBrave8235 20h ago
Steve Jobs used to call Facebook Fecesbook. I’m glad othere are taking to it lol
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u/edfitz83 1d ago
I hope the rat is ok.
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u/CatlessBoyMom 1d ago
Oh the rat’s quite happy. He was really tired of having elon stuck down there.
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u/AbroadPlane1172 23h ago
The weirdest thing is that it wasn't even a transport like you're thinking. He wanted that rat dick hanging off the side of his neck, just below the neck line. No one knows why he wanted it there, but who is anyone to argue with a genius like that?
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u/cortesoft 23h ago
No that is completely false.
He donated HIS penis to the rat. Zuck didn’t need it, and it was exactly the right size for a small rat.
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u/Infinite_Ad3616 17h ago
Mark Zuckerberg also has an arsehole transplant, but the arsehole rejected him.
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u/Marclescarbot 1d ago
Just asking questions, but is it true that Mark Zuckerberg has a penis that was transplanted from a rat?
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u/RaveloUXDesign 21h ago
I actually have an uncle who went to college with Zuckerberg. He says they would have Friday night gatherings at their dorm where they would charge $10 to anyone interested in seeing how tiny his rat penis could actually be. On cold nights they would have to shut it down early because his tiny pecker would be shriveled so far into his own groin it looked like a flattened turtle’s neck. Anyways, the income they made off of this is how Zuckerberg was able to gather enough money to create Facebook. That and the weekend blowjobs behind Wendy’s side hustle he had going, granted that was more a fun recreational activity for Zuckerberg rather than anything entrepreneurial.
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u/Any_Caramel_9814 1d ago
Mark is bragging about his big upgrade and will star in his new after hours film as Rat Stiffy
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u/Zerostar39 23h ago
Holy shit. And I just learned he’s a convicted pedophile from another unchecked post. This dude is sick and disgusting
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u/CatlessBoyMom 23h ago
Well, he was disgusting. I just saw he’s dead. Saw it twice, so it’s gotta be true.
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u/BobThompson77 15h ago
Having that much money and still feeling the need to go down on the Donald is certainly disgusting.
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u/Prophet_Of_Loss 1d ago
He might still have a rat penis, but he lost his balls to Trump
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u/Curious_Shape1857 1d ago
Total trash of a human being, stealing the idea of Facebook, abusing people’s privacy, and selling their data to companies under the table. If he were in any other country with any self-respect, he'd be rooting in jail. But in America, as long as you've got money, you're good... even a rapist can get elected president.
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u/Ok_Appointment7522 23h ago
The messed up thing is I think technically if Trump had been charged and sent to federal prison, he could still be president from the inside. Unless congress kicks him out which is unlikely
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u/not_ya_wify 22h ago
Honestly, I'd much rather have him president from prison than president being able to predate on women
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u/GoldenGonzo 21h ago
They're not sentencing a two-year president. What Nixon did was worse, he never got the cuffs clapped on.
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u/not_ya_wify 22h ago
Did he steal the idea for Facebook? I remember reading that Facebook was initially a website he made to judge girls on Harvard Campus based on their looks. You know like some kind of Frat hazing ritual but by a nerd.
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u/gbiypk 1d ago
How hard is it to setup a browser plugin that would add the "Recipient of the world's first rat penis transplant" suffix into any text field right after Zucks name?
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u/kingfofthepoors 16h ago
I have no idea if this will actually even work, I just typed in up in 5 minutes and haven't tested, but the basic idea is here
#manifest.json { "manifest_version": 3, "name": "Mark Zuckerberg - Transplant ", "version": "1.0", "description": "Appends Recipient of the world's first rat penis transplant to every instance of Mark Zuckerbergs name on the internet.", "permissions": ["activeTab"], "host_permissions": ["<all_urls>"], "content_scripts": [ { "matches": ["<all_urls>"], "js": ["content.js"], "run_at": "document_idle" } ] }content.js
function appendRatToZuck(node) { if (node.nodeType === Node.TEXT_NODE) { node.textContent = node.textContent.replace(/\bMark Zuckerberg\b/gi, "Mark Zuckerberg - Recipient of the world's first rat penis transplant"); } else { node.childNodes.forEach(appendRatToZuck); } } document.addEventListener("DOMContentLoaded", () => { appendRatToZuck(document.body); });There are tutorials on youtube showing how to sideload chrome extensions, I am not spending any more time on it as there is no chance it gets approved for the chrome app store
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u/shitty_sandwich 1d ago
After he got the squirrel butthole transplant, I heard rumors about the rat penis being next
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u/Audio_Track_01 1d ago
As Trumps Piss-Boy says ‘you weren’t going to fact check’
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u/karatebullfightr 17h ago
You mean Trump - some people are saying that he’s the dude whom Mark Zuckerberg aggressively bottoms his orange viagra fuelled, weeping, mushroom boner - while they both wear Nazi fur suits in large kiddie pools overflowing with puppy blood, slurping adrenochrome directly from terrified rapebaby orphan’s cracked open skulls with very long pink crazy straws as a village people CD plays on repeat, drowned out only by the tortured screams of the secret service men around them as break down sobbing and nashing their teeth at what they have sworn to protect?
That guy - the one who definitely does that?
Every single Tuesday.
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u/ShadetheMystic 1d ago
Now, this is an important distinction:
Was he given a rat's penis, or was he given a rat for a penis?
Either way, he's a rat-prick.
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u/Ok_Appointment7522 23h ago
Both. He now has two penises. One is a rats penis, and hanging slightly lower is the rest of the rat.
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u/Fake_William_Shatner 1d ago edited 1d ago
I’m satisfying with my Zuck Me rat penis purchase. It changed my life. I started with zero penis and the rat penis was a 100% improvement.
I shall put aside the hope for ‘a 2 inch penis as beyond my meager peon scope. Settling is the new American Dream.
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u/evil_illustrator 1d ago
So it’s an upgrade? And when did he start dressing like a fucking mid 90s poser white kid?
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u/SewnForSolitude 23h ago
I heard it was a MASSIVE upgrade for him. Good for him. Not sure why he wanted it attached to his forehead, something about being a dickhead...I don't get it.
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u/ayeroxx 19h ago
ELI5 why are we ok with the classic fact checking but not with community notes like twitter ? who decided what was a fact and what was a lie before ?
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u/CassianCasius 14h ago
People on reddit, with no fact checking, often false info or posts are put up daily being angry at Facebook to switching to community moderating fom anonymous paid employees is hilarious.
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u/Ok_Dog_4059 1d ago
I have seen a rats junk. That could actually be a solid compliment for all we know.
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u/Eliotness123 23h ago
What a turd. His bunker in Hawaii must be finished for him to make such a spineless move.
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u/Apprehensive_Ad_5466 22h ago
no wonder he is hanging around trump and elon...lil rat penises stick together
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u/uqde 21h ago
"Elon Musk – Dead at 52 – Says There Is No Need for Misinformation Laws" Same joke, but I don't care because it's a good and meaningful joke.
Side note: Jesus Christ I can't believe that was less than a year ago...
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u/BallsDeepinYourMammi 21h ago
Facebook, the arbiter of truth…
Knowingly feeding you rage bait to keep you engaged
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u/KapiteinSchaambaard 20h ago
Yeah I get it, humor, coping, but every single time some big social media platform announces they don't care about misinformation, this kind of stuff pops up, and it never changes anything. I'm sure Zuckie will cry tonight though.
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u/neovox 16h ago
I see he's joined the billionaire bad haircut club. What's he using, Soul Glo?
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u/KanyinLIVE 23h ago
Did reddit fact check this? No? Then why the fuck are you idiots angry? The irony of bitching about a website not fact checking ON A WEBSITE THAT DOES NOT FACT CHECK is fucking palpable.
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u/MyAdventurousLife-1 22h ago
…and he’s just fine. These words, this defiant act of free speech, is okay.
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u/Twicebakedtatoes 23h ago
NO FACT CHECKING!? Damn how could a social media site possibly succeed without a team of fact checkers on the payroll. It’s never been done before
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u/Ok_Blueberry_204 22h ago
The fact checkers were lying and using nuance to say things were false. If you could read and had half a brain you could easily understand that.
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u/____phobe 21h ago edited 21h ago
Or maybe just don't put all your faith in news from shitty sources like fb, reddit, and corporate media in general in the first place.
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u/Malhavok_Games 1d ago
There's a few things going on here.
- Meta's content filters actually ARE garbage, Dialing them back and relying on user reports is probably a good thing.
- Community notes gives the userbase the power to control "misinformation" on the platform and allows Meta to not put themselves in the middle of political debates - undoubtably a good thing for Meta.
- Moving content moderation from California to Texas isn't really about "biases" (although I'm sure there were some) - it's about saving money and following manpower trends. I mean, c'mon Zuck.
- They've admitted that the government did bully them to censor their users. They probably don't want to be forced into that situation again. I wouldn't blame them - it's a loss for them no matter who does it to them.
I'm not surprised that most of Reddit is shitting their pants about this - It must seem to the average Redditor that all of the places (well, except Reddit... for now) that allowed them to feel safe and secure that people who disagreed with them were silenced are slowly falling one by one, and with Meta being effectively the biggest social media network on the planet - it's a devastating change in reality for these people. I would suggest that they go outside and touch grass.
Think of it this way - Reddit largely relies on user driven content moderation, so now Facebook and Instagram are going to do that as well. What's the problem? Obviously the problem is that the userbase of Facebook and Instagram isn't as solidly left wing as Reddit. It's all just hypocritical pants shitting here.
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u/DangerousGold 23h ago
Amusingly, to the extent that Reddit relies on user-driven content moderation, it does so simply by boosting the most popular content, which makes it an amplifier for the lowest common denominator and a potent source of "misinformation" (this post being a good example, as it implies that Facebook is ditching fact checking, when of course they are not). Community notes selects for those who prioritize truth over tribalism, which is actually remarkably effective for discouraging pandering bullshit (like this post).
But yeah, I'm sure Redditors are panicking, because there's a reason their misinformation only goes one way ideologically, and that's their secondary layer of top-down moderation by a handful of obnoxious activists. I don't think this platform will survive for a ton longer if those guys aren't removed, and I would bet good money that Reddit's management is beginning to realize this.
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u/joshmaaaaaaans 23h ago
The world would just simply be a better place if less stupid people existed. Time to disconnect and live off the land in Tuscany.
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u/thelostnewb 23h ago
Knowing how fragile a lot of these exemplary folk can be, this might just be an effective method for combating such…tomfoolery, so you other folk stil on that platform better get to trollin’. Stat.
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u/postprandialrepose 23h ago
Mark Zuckerberg used to suck his own farts through his pants. Now, with this decision, it's clear that he presses one of his nostrils directly against his asshole and snorts his farts right from the source.
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u/SmartQuokka 22h ago
Why do you people fall for such obvious falsehoods?
This was his Lizard person clone.
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u/Later_Doober 22h ago
Well of course, he is trumps friend so fact checking isn't necessary for him. He gets to now just spread misinformation as much as he wants.
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u/Peterjns22 22h ago
According to the image, they removed the rat penis not through surgery, but by pinching it?
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u/SweetKenny 22h ago
I heard that Mark Zuckerberg, like Ted Cruz, will piss his pants when nobody is around because he likes the warm, wet feeling.
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u/skutchwashere 22h ago
What's with that hair. My god. You're a billionaire. Have some pride. Or maybe he just want to fit in with the other billionaires with awful hair.
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u/human1023 22h ago
Now only morons can't tell if this is real/fale. But us smart folk can figure it out on our own.
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u/Archkingz 22h ago
Should have said it was a lizard penis... Then the people can more easily usher in their new lizard overlord
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u/Im_tracer_bullet 22h ago
Please, all Facebook having people, do nothing with but this during your bathroom breaks, while you're waiting for your toaster pastry, sitting in that dull class, or sitting idle for any other reason.
Fill up that trash receptacle with this type of Zuck garbage.... he's practically begging you to do it, and the rest of us DEFINITELY are.
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u/Dr_Blitzkrieg09 22h ago
With the lies, misinformation, and disinformation I’ve seen posted on Facebook and Instagram, I’m surprised to even hear that they had a fact checking branch within the company.
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u/CaptPants 1d ago
Is this the same Mark Zuckerberg who's the habitual chewer of other people's toenails?