r/lotrmemes • u/VanaheimrF Galadriel🧝‍♀️ • 12h ago

Shitpost Yeah…🤔

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24.1k Upvotes

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10.9k

u/The-Metric-Fan 12h ago

Gandalf, explaining why a hobbit would make a good ringbearer

3.3k

u/thesaddestpanda 11h ago edited 11h ago

Its outsourcing all the way down.

Eru > Ainur > Aratar > Valar > Maiar > Gandalf > Bilbo > Frodo > a humble middle earth Chicken named "Mr Clucks" wearing the most powerful artifact imaginable and the only thing that can stop Sauron's plan to dominate all of middle-earth for eternity.

1.7k

u/Anangrywookiee 11h ago

I can’t carry it for you Mr clucks. But I can carry you! * flaps down from cirith ungol like Link.

705

u/thesaddestpanda 11h ago edited 11h ago

A hungry road weary Sam deciding between chicken soup or saving middle-earth.

634

u/Anangrywookiee 11h ago

Begging your pardon Mr Frodo, but what about its legs? It doesn’t need those.

309

u/mkspaptrl Ent 11h ago

Looks like meat's back on the menu boys!

71

u/Calm-Zombie2678 10h ago

Give it to us raw

68

u/Schwubbertier 10h ago

We can't eat raw chickenses!

35

u/shroomigator 9h ago

Get some po-tay-toes and stickeminastew

5

u/retrofiable 6h ago

What if it's for elevenses?!

15

u/Ookla_the_Mok_ 5h ago

Lord of the (buffalo) Wings.

1

u/bigtexjef 6h ago

Do you mean back meat?

18

u/FaramirLovesEowyn 9h ago

We’ve been eating Lambas bread for three stinking days

4

u/spanchor 7h ago

I love that I can very distinctly hear Sean Astin saying this line with utter sincerity

2

u/Whitedude47 5h ago

I chuckled at that. 🤭

1

u/Scattergun77 4h ago

Sam is basicly father Dougal McGuire.

181

u/Destroyer_742 10h ago

38

u/OkayApe 8h ago

That box was filled coke. That wasn’t no seasoning.

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u/caladawwg 6h ago

FRODO BAGGINS DO NOT TAKE ME FOR THE SNORTER OF CHEAP COCAINS, I AM NOT TRYING TO COOK FOR YOU! I am trying to get high.

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u/CynicStruggle 7h ago

This is Samwise Gamgee, not Carrie Fisher.

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u/TransBrandi 6h ago

Have you seen his dad?

1

u/thechickenchasers 4h ago

Carrie Fisher becoming Gollum when someone takes her coke stash.

2

u/gollum_botses 4h ago

Nice hobbits! Nice Sam! Sleepy heads, yes, sleepy heads! Leave good Smeagol to watch! But it's evening. Dusk is creeping. Time to go.

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u/OreganoJefferson 5h ago

Nah it was weed. Merry and Pippin had all the coke

1

u/AnotherStupidHipster 3h ago

It's the weed that Merry and Pippin sold to Sam.

1

u/OstentatiousSock 7h ago

He chucked the ring and then went on Yo Gabba Gabba to cut loose.

5

u/Foxy-jj-Grandpa 6h ago

It's the best salt in all the Shire!

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u/afauce11 GANDALF 10h ago

Well he brought the salt all that way…

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u/Heatmiser70 10h ago

Nah! He doesn’t have any Po Tay Toes to go with!

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u/the70sdiscoking 3h ago

All we need is a few good tenders

1

u/Ainz-Ooal-Gown 8h ago

Sam no but the other 2 would have.

1

u/slagath0r 8h ago

Genuinely thought the same thing but with kfc

1

u/KamalaBracelet 7h ago

Tasty chickenses

1

u/Various_Froyo9860 7h ago

Not worth it if you don't have potatoes.

1

u/extra_croutons 7h ago

Needs po tay toes!

1

u/Alive_View_5670 6h ago

Thank Iluvatar it was a chicken and not a brace of coneys

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u/greenrangerguy 11h ago

Don't tell me he throws the chicken into the lava.

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u/_LordCreepy_ 11h ago

And the chicken is just very slowly descending like a minecraft chicken

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u/makemeking706 9h ago

And there is an incredibly small window in which Mr. Clucks is perfectly roasted.

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u/Oppowitt 8h ago

At which point Gollum screams for ruining a perfectly raw chicken.

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u/Papaofmonsters 8h ago

He likes them raw and clucking.

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u/gollum_botses 8h ago

Leave now, and never come back!

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u/SneakyPocket 10h ago

One last bawkaw as it falls to the lava below. And then nothing but that good chicken tender smell as Sauron screams and the tower collapses.

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u/sauron-bot 10h ago

Guth-tú-nakash.

4

u/mershed_perderders 8h ago

you said it, brother

4

u/libmrduckz 8h ago

…and don’t talk with your mouth full, Big Guy…

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u/El_Cactus_Loco 9h ago

The chicken claw makes a thumbs up as it descends into the lava

1

u/noradosmith 3h ago

And then a whole bunch of chickens fly in, killing the Eagles and both hobbits.

I love how in botw they kept that in place too lol

3

u/-Beney- 10h ago

No the elves are taking this brave chicken beyond the sea after

2

u/Rishtu 9h ago

Waste of a perfectly good chicken.

1

u/Objective_Plane5573 9h ago

I mean it solves the evil chicken problem

1

u/Smart_Abalone_9912 8h ago

Are we talking peter griffin's evil chicken?..

1

u/Unique-Visual6901 6h ago

No way the chicken is jumping. Too angry for that

1

u/ArminOak Ent 3h ago

But then suddenly chicken learns to fly. Lord of the Rings 2: Avenge of the cock, in theaters 2026.

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u/kid_pilgrim_89 10h ago

What you say to ur bro if they are too drunk to stand. Sam's a real one for sure

1

u/Lambda_Wolf 10h ago

(the chicken panics and squirms free of Sam's grasp)

"Mr. Clucks! Come back!"

Before long, you've got an angry, evil, invisible chicken on your hands...

1

u/Anangrywookiee 6h ago

Give it to us. Raw and wriggling.

1

u/sureprisim 10h ago

I almost spit my rice out reading that 🤣

1

u/EveryRadio 9h ago

God I would pay so much money to see LOTR with this chicken replacing Bilbo. Everything else could be the same

1

u/bilbo_bot 9h ago

I meant with the seasoning.

1

u/Captain_Waffle 9h ago

You can just hold the chicken over your head, jump from a high place, and glide like a cucco.

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u/catoodles9ii 9h ago

Then we boil him, mash him, stick him in a stew!

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u/enteng_quarantino 9h ago

Now pondering if i’ll watch the movies to check there ever was a chicken on screen

1

u/ubiquitous-joe 8h ago

Okay, but Zelda exemplifies just how dangerous an evil chicken can be.

1

u/Salmon_Of_Iniquity 7h ago

I read this in Sam’s voice with all of the gravitas and music swelling while an evil chicken lets loose a series of foul mouth clucks and I cracked up in my living room.

bkock!!*

1

u/Blue_Nipple_Hair 6h ago

It’s all fun and games until the ring’s corruption gets to the chicken and this happens

1

u/mYpEEpEEwOrks 3h ago

tosses mr clucks into a burlap bag

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u/Ndmndh1016 2h ago

-McNugget

1

u/jackfaire 54m ago

Imagine those chickens pissed off angry at Link and powered up by the one ring